Tyrus: Love is Timeless

Chapter 23

Tjs POV

This evening went from amazing to exhausting in a flash. When Bex pulled into a driveway I was feeling depressed but grateful. Bex turned off the car, got out and helped me and laycee with our bags. Andi ran inside and I had no idea why- this was probably uncomfortable for her. I took laycees hand in mine as we walked to the door. I let laycee in first and we slowly walked to the couch. Bex went to go turn up the AC. I took in the home that was Andis - small but inviting. Andi walked back in with a guy with curly hair following behind. 

"What happened? "Andi asked as she sat next to me with a first aid kit. The curly haired man turned my head towards him and examined my head. "Its a cut, long but not deep. You are lucky man" he said. " this is laycee my sister" I said whispering. " I'm bowie ; andis dad" Bowie said. " thankyou for your kindness" Laycee said with a smile. She was sitting across from me next to Andi. "So what did happen? "Bowie asked me as he cleaned the cut on my forehead. I sighed knowing once I open up that everything that just happened will be real. My sister of course took the reigns, "tj got home from his date with Cyrus ,our mom overheard and yea" she said looking down with her hands in her lap. 

"thats just horrible "andi exclaimed. Bowie walked out then back in with spare shirt and shorts I could sleep in. "  can I use your bathroom?" I asked and Bowie pointed to it. I walked in, shut the door, turned the faucet on, and washed my hands. I changed my clothes and the taunting in my head began "youre a homeless stupid failure. Just quit. You don't deserve happiness. Your a waste of space" it rambled. I clutched the edge of the sink - holding onto the look of cyrus face.  Invasive images kept flashing before my eyes. I shuddered at every single one - all horrific scenes of different ways to die and commit suicide. My heart raced and I forced myself to breathe slow. I opened the door and regained my composure. 

Bowies pov

It was getting close to midnight and tj had been in the bathroom for about 10 mins now. "Bowie- check on tj please" bex hugged me.  "On it" i said and got up. When i turned the hallway tj stood there - he looked lost and fixated on something. "Hey tj - are u ok? " i asked putting a hand on his back. "I'm just tired - I I need sleep" tj said still not taking his eyes off of something in my room. I followed his gaze slow and noticed. His attention was on my bookcase - importantly one particular book. "Let's get you settled in then" I took him cautiosly back to the living room. When he got in laycee was already settled on the couch looking close to sleep. 

I nudged bex and motioned her to the kitchen. When we both got there bex looked at me worried. "Whats wrong? " she asked me. I was in fear asking this but I did anyways, " tj - hes the one you said tried taking his life? " i whispered. She nodded her head yes and added, "why do you ask? ". "You should talk to him - he was staring at my special book" I warned her. "Special book? " she looked confused. I continued, "hon my SPECIAL book for emergencies - it was open in plain sight and i forgot to close it" I spelled it out for her. Her eyes were wide and then she left the room quick. I walked in my room, took the book containing the gun, closed it and put it in my old guitar case in my closet. When I walked back out bex already was waking up tj to speak with him. 

I went in Andis room and sat on her bed and she turned towards me. Andi sat up and leaned her head on my arm. "Promise me if you are struggling that you'll tell your mom and I" I said softly. "Of course dad. Im lucky to have you and mom. " andi reassured me. " I love you andi "I said and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too." After a moment she said, " im scared for tj". "Me too and I hardly know him but hes still important to you" I said. I just met him and already took a liking to him. "I hope hes happy again soon" andi said aloud to herself. "If only it worked that way" and I sat there holding andi. 

Tjs POV

Bex woke me up as I was about to drift off to sleep and we sat out in front of andis shack. "I know its late and you're tired but I wanted us to talk" bex told me as she wrapped her jacket around her tighter. My chest tightened, the flashbacks were coming fast, and the thought of killing myself kept recurring. "Tj? "Bex tried to get my attention. I looked at her not knowing what to say. I wanted to keep it all in but my heart was begging me to talk. " I don't know where to start"I said  honestly. "Ok well start with why were you having suicidal thoughts just now? " she surprised me. " it just keeps coming to me in disturbing images after everything that happened " I told bex. She took my hand all of a sudden and asked me "everything? ". "I don't know every part of the story" bex smiled. 

I was confused as to what she was saying. "Which part? "  I asked for clarification. "The part when you picked up cyrus for your date - duh" bex smiled. I could not help but smile as I thought about my date with cyrus. It just happened yesterday evening as now is 12:10 pm. I gave her detail on detail spilling about cyrus and I just came to life again. Then when I got to the part about my mom I paused and the sinking feeling came back. "Hey stay with me tj. Look - you and I both know I've never been depressed but you still are the sole owner of your mind. Choose how you want to react. So when you think about your mom, be indifferent. "  she said to me. "Indifferent? "  I asked not comprehending. "Indifferent tj meaning : don't let her judgements bother you. Be happy for yourself ; your young, breathing, healthy, have a great sister, friends, and Cyrus. Don't give into thoughts that do you no good" bex warned me. 

When I went to bed in andis living room Bexs words kept floating in my head. Then I looked at my phone and texted cyrus. 

Tj: I had more scary thoughts tonight. Ill explain why in the morning. But, the thoughts of you and knowing that I make you happy kept me afloat,  lighthearted, and happy. ❤❤