Tyrus: Love is Timeless

Chapter 24

Cyrus POV

I was laying in bed just thinking about my date with tj as the sun was cascading through my room. I turned on my laptop and videochatted buffy and andi. Buffy picked up first and she waved at me with a yawn. 

" so how was the date? "Buffy asked with a smile. Andi still hadn't picked up yet so I decided to tell her later. 

"It was beautiful Buffy. We had a picnic by the lake" I smiled thinking about it. "Wow kippen really does have a sweet side. " buffy laughed. "He gave me a rose, there were fireworks, we almost kissed twice and" buffy cut me off. 

"Twice???!!! Omg!!? Cyrus really? " she asked me. "Yea " I was smiling so big. Buffy laughed but then andi started ringing asking to join the videochat. 

I accepted it and andi was sitting on her bed and she waved. "So how was it? " andi asked me. 

"Wonderful. Spectacular. Romantic. Sweet. " I rambled on.

 " tj and cyrus almost kissed twice" buffy said. I chuckled and knew i was blushing. 

"Awwwww cyrus is blushing! "  buffy  and andi laughed. "So have you two texted or called since your date? "Andi asked. 

"Nah my phone is Charging slow. I need a new charger. "I explained. "Oh ok. You should see him today "andi suggested. "Why? Isn't there like an unspoken rule about not seeing your date one day after the date" I laughed. 

"idk just a suggestion" andi shrugged then looked away from the camera. "I should go"andi said then disconnected. " That was weird" buffy said reading  my mind. 

Tjs pov

I sat outside andi room - I was on the way to the bathroom but I heard cyrus. He was still thrilled about our date and that made my morning better. 

I was glad Andi didn't push the subject and tell cyrus why he should see me. I got up and at that moment Andi walked out. I didnt know what to say so I pulled her in for a hug. 

"Are you ok tj? "Andi asked me. I nodded my head yes knowing I was lying but walked to the bathroom and freshened up. The thoughts followed me like an unwanted group of people I could never cut off. 

Voices in my head kept chanting and whispering different things. From repeatedly saying "die! Die! Die! " to "you are a failure!" And then I sunk to my knees gripping my heart. 

The room was closing in and the image of bowies gun flashed. My breathing was deep and slow - I couldn't catch my breath. Jolts of anger ran through my body like I was being electrocuted. 

"I want to die I want to but I cant" I whispered. The feeling was too deep in my core it made me feel strange. I was on my hands and knees on the floor. I wanted scream out but my voice was mute. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Within I felt like this depression was a manifestation of a ghostly black monster. 

I grieved again for in that moment I thought "this is why dad died". 

I dont want this pain in my chest. I felt like I was sinking internally ; I grimaced. I was gritting my teeth just praying for someone to punch me. Physical pain would be more tolerable as of now. 

"Like father like son" came crawling back to me. " of course it would" I thought. Then there was a knock at the door,"tj! I'm coming in!" It was laycee. She opened the door and the sight of her made me cry out. "Tj tj" she sat next to me and I couldnt bare knowing she was scared for me. I was a tidal wave of tears and I did what I needed to do. I went to my phone and dialed the person I needed to see the most. 

Ring!  Ring! 

"hi this is Dr goodman speaking " she said happily. 

"Doc I need an emergency session. Can i come in today? " i heaved out through the tears. 

"Tj yes I usually don't on Sundays but come in asap" she responded,  i thanked her and we hung up. 

I didn't notice as I sat on the floor that everyone including andi and her parents were surrounding me. " we are proud of you"I heard bex say. Then Bowie grabbed my shoulder in front of me stating "we got you tj. Especially now. The holiday season is when the suicide rates jump up. So, until you find somewhere to be - the Mack family is your family now too". 

I embraced him for a hug just speechless. He grabbed my face and said, "we all love you here man even though we just met. So like I tell Andi I am telling you and you" he looked at laycee. "Tell us when you need us" and we hugged again. 

Then my phone buzzed. 

Cyrus: what's going on? 🙁  Are u ok hon? 

And just like that I was tears again - tears of joy & pain combined.