My Bad Boy Roommate

Chapter Twenty Six

Recap:

I didn't respond to him. I was done being that girl who couldn't have a life because she depended on a man to do everything and be there for her. I couldn't trust a guy to do that for me. Not Ryder.

I swallowed all my tears as I pulled out my cellphone.

"Kelsey? You tell Kyle, I'll be there Friday night."

She laughed into the receiver before confirming she would.

Chapter Twenty Six

*Ryder's POV*

The house was too quiet after school now. Shay wouldn't speak to me, she'd go upstairs or straight out to the barn. Her sass or anger is much more tolerable than the silent treatment, I was one more eye-avoid away from putting a bullet through my head. I knew this was best though, it's what I should have done from the beginning, but I was much too selfish.

I laid back against the roof, as I heard tiny little footsteps underneath me. Shay was in her room. The window was open so she knew I was up here, I almost wished she would join me or at least say something, but once I heard the door slam I knew she was gone again. My stomach sank. I closed my eyes as the sun beat down on me, and I could begin to feel tiny beads of sweat appear on my skin.

"Ryder!"

My head popped up in excitement, before I looked down and saw Ansel smiling up at me.

"Hey bro!" Ansel gave me a wave, a huge smile never leaving his face. That boy was too happy sometimes.

"Eh, hey!" I called back, as he motioned for me to come down.

"I don't know where Shay is," I stated once I reached the porch.

He snorted, "I'm friends with you too, plus I already knew that."

I bit my lip, of course he knew about our fight.

"I heard you called her a "whore", what's that about?"

He squinted at me through the bright sun's rays.

"I don't know, it just came out. How'd you even hear that? She told you?"

Ansel started walking towards the road, before beginning to talk again.

"I'm her best friend's boyfriend, of course I'm going to find out."

He gave me the "duh" expression as I nodded, feeling no humor in my body.

"Did you mean it?"

I sighed, kicking a rock over.

"Of course not."

Ansel groaned, throwing his hands in the air.

"Then why the hell did you say it, Ryder? You do realize how rude that was to her, it was very untrue, and it probaley makes her feel inscure."

I couldn't help but feel jealous hearing her talk about Shay in that way, it was obvious that he cared about her, and he had way better ways of showing it than I did. I could picture them so well together and that scares me, I'm glad he's with Kelsey.

"I understand and know that. God, I know that. She's perfect. She could never be a whore in my eyes. I just said that to protect her."

Ansel's voice dropped in confusion, "Protect her from who?"

"Me. I can't protect her anymore from all of this, I feel like I should have nothing to do with her but I'm too selfish. This is dangerous, I don't know when they will can or if they will come. I just want her to be safe. I want her to be safe from me, and my entire world."

I knew I was pitying myself, but Ansel demanded what I meant. Great, story time.

***

*Shay's POV*

I was putting my foot down. I'm done being ignored by Ryder, I made a mistake, but this is ridiculous. Zach and I kissed once, and it was more of Zach kissing me while I pushed him off.

Ryder had to work at the shop today, my father told me.

My father and mother have been very brief with me as well, I know I was a bitch to them but I couldn't get over it soon enough. They needed to sit in this for a while. I'd come back and apogize soon, I always do.

Ryder told Ansel about his past earlier today, Ansel told me.

I don't know how to feel about that, does that mean he'll confide in Ansel instead of me now?

Did I mess everything up that bad?

I'm happy that he felt that he could trust Ansel enough to share something to dear to him and personal. He was getting better, and I need to stop thinking of myself. I'm proud of Ryder.

My eyes fluttered open and I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep. Glancing at my clock, 10:03.

I heard rustling in the kitchen downstairs, only one person besides me goes for midnight snacks.

Tip toeing down the stairs I hoped to meet him in the kitchen, and just as I thought he had the box of Goldfish on the counter, his back to me.

"Uh, hey."

He whipped around faster than light. His emerald eyes were bright with shock.

"Hello Shay."

He's blocking me out. My heart crumbled.

"We should talk."

Shaking his head, he moved to put the box of crackers back.

"Look, I get it. I messed up, I didn't think of you. I'm so sorry, I can see that you don't trust me anymore and that's huge to you. I am incredibly sorry that I screwed that up, that's my fault, but don't block me out. I need you Ryder, more than you know." I moved closer to him as I spoke.

Ryder rubbed his face in frustration, "I can't do this."

I shook my head quickly, filling the small space between us to reach for his arm.

"Ryder, I'm begging you to not block me out."

He flared up, "You lost that right! You aren't the victim here Shay! Damn it, you kissed that guy! I will never trust you again!"

My heart fell in shreds to the floor, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Please." I whispered.

He pushed my arm off, walking towards the screen door.

"God, Ryder, I care about you so much because I'm in love with you! Damn it, I said it! I know you don't feel the same back though, and that's what will always be the worst part about falling for someone who you thought was right for you. I thought you were that guy for me Ryder. I thought I could be that girl for you. We can work through this."

Ryder stared at me wordlessly before turning to leave out the screen door without another door.

I fell to my knees as my body began to rock with sobs.

Authors Note:

I've missed y'all! Sorry this took so long, I've been super busy! I just moved my sister to college and two nights ago was the One Direction concert! It was so much fun! Anyway, school starts tomorrow so updates will be a little harder to do, but they will come up! Also, more drama to come!

Thanks for reading & the support,

April