Day 20.1

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Axel

"Okay Axel, this is gonna hurt a lot," Amber says. She puts a kitchen towel in my mouth so I don't bite my tongue. She opens the bottle of rubbing alcohol. I suddenly feel the cold liquid go into the wound.

"Agh," I yell in pain. I wince in pain and clench my teeth together as much as I can. "Gaah dahn it, Amber." My speech is mumbled because of the towel in my mouth. Amber lays her hand on my chest.

"Breathe. We're almost done." I grab onto her hand and squeeze it as she pours more rubbing alcohol into the wound. I squeeze her hand so much that it begins to turn white, also arching my back in an attempt to resist the pain. I continue to yell in pain. My other hand clenches onto the side of the table, and my knuckles turn white.

"Okay, it's all cleaned up. I just have to stitch it closed. You need some water." I watch as Amber gets more pillows from the other room and props my head. I remove the cloth as she unclips my jug of water and pours the soothing water down my throat. My throat is still scratchy from the yelling, but it begins to feel better. The little girl returns with a sewing kit.

"So, what's your name little champ?" I ask, my voice sounding weak and scratchy. I look over and see Amber thread a needle. "Nuh nuh no. You can't be sewing my wound closed with a sewing kit." I sound petrified.

"So you want to possibly die then? If this wound isn't closed, then you might die from an infection. You know I can't survive in this world without you. And the little girl too. I almost-I almost died back there. At the school. With James. I'd be dead if it weren't for you," Amber says urgently. She starts off speaking a bit angrily, but it quickly morphs into a certain sadness that I know far too well. I see her eyes droop and her whole face changes in expression.

I look into her glossy, watering eyes. "Okay," I say calmly. "Do it." She nods.

"Now I have some numbing cream that should ease the pain a little." Amber takes out a packet.

"No, don't use that. We might need it for something else in the future," I reassure. "Now, let's get it done and over with." I try to relax my body.

"Do you want to hold my bear? You can squeeze on tight if you want to. He won't mind," the little girl says as she gives me the bear.

"Sure, thank you," I respond with a calm voice. This little girl reminds me so much of her. She can't be any older than six or seven.

The needle that will go into my skin any minute now is cleaned off with some rubbing alcohol. This is good but will make this hurt like hell ten times more than it already will.

"Are you ready? And you're sure you don't want numbing gel?" Amber utters softly. I can tell that she really doesn't want to do this and she really wants me to use the gel.

I take out the cloth to say "I'm ready," and put the cloth back in my mouth. She concentrates on steadying her hand. She starts at the bottom of the wound. When she puts the needle in, it actually doesn't hurt any more than getting a tattoo. It does hurt like hell still. She gets the string through both sides of the wound.

Amber pulls the string up to connect my flesh. Let me tell you, this pain is excruciating.

"Eahh." I squeeze the bear so hard that if it was real, it would be suffocating. She continued to do do the stitches. As she went on, the pain never stopped being excruciating, but I was able to contain my yelling.

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