Remind Me Not (Slow Update)

33.

Once I opened the door, Ruin wrapped me in tight, kissing on my shoulder.

"Heath," he whispered against my skin, making me close my eyes with smoothness of his touch. "Are_are you okay? Please, just stay calm."

Calm. That's what I'd to follow now. I'd to stay calm to understand the dangerous puzzle of my life in better way. The images which I'd seen sometime back in my brain might or might not be true. Even Ruin was under its trap. He didn't have a clear memory about what exactly had happened between him and me. We both were unaware about it. Then how could such images could appear in our minds? It could be any black magic of Andrew and his close ones, such as Zander, who was telling me again and again not to believe everything.

I shouldn't believe him, I knew, but what if I believed. I didn't have the proper route to go. I didn't have a particulàr direction to follow. I didn't have a purpose. I was just running from everything, getting afraid of the consequences. Walking the half road wouldn't help me to satisfy my heart...who then was constantly telling m to think one more time on what Zander had told me. It even told me to scratch my brain for what Silver had told me.

And for that, I had to stay away from Ruin for sometime, so that I could distract myself from the images I'd in my mind about him. I wanted to wipe the guilt off my heart for...time being. It would be difficult, for both of us, I was aware of it. There was no option, though. To end the cryptic and deadly game of Andrew I'd to take some harsh decision.

"I've to go," I said, squeezing my eyes shut, inhaling the orchid scent of Ruin to keep it in my brain till I come back to him.

"What?" He broke the hug, his eyes widened. I averted my eyes off his face. It was painful to see those eyes which I'd seen with full of pain in my brain. Guilt and the feeling of being his murderer was slowly killing me from inside. It was what I didn't want. To fight against the problem, it was necessary for me then to keep the pain out of our my sight.

"What_"

"Please, Ruin, let me go!" My eyes burned as the tears streamed down my eyes. Ruin was now tightly holding my wrist, not allowing to even move away from him in inch.

"Where you'll go, Heath?" he pulled me again close to him. "Please, don't do this. I know you're in pain. Those images are disturbing you, but...believe me, I don't care about those images. I don't care about what happened in our past. Just let's stay together now. We can change everything, trust me. Everything_"

"For sometime we have to stay away, Ruin (Or shall I call him Ian?). "Try to understand. We have to finish it forever."

"Are you going to leave me again?"

His questioned felt acidic to my heart. "No, Ruin. I am not living you," I cupped his face. "I love you. Whatever might be the past, I love you now. I can't even imagine myself away from you. It's just_"

"It's just, what?" He cupped my face with right hand, wrapping me with his left arm, leaving no distance between both of us now. I scared to look in his eyes, but still now, I was helpless. His eyes full of innocence creating a strong space in my soul.

"It's just..." I pulled my eyes off his face, "I want to create a clear space between both of us. Let me forget all those images. Let me stay alone for a time to start a new life. Please, Ruin. Let me do it. Just for our love. Just for our trust."

"I can't." As he leaned forward, lifting my face to look in his eyes, I yanked his hand off me and, with heavy heart, I pushed him hard.

"Please!" I cried, clenching my hands in fist. "I'm sorry, Ruin. Bear the pain sometime; we both have to. I'll come back soon." And I rushed out of the room and then hall, leaving continuous screams of Ruin of my name. Why was he making it hard? Why wasn't he trying to understand?