ISAAC's OC REVIEWs

Kipper Cornish [C]

Please note that I ask a lot of questions throughout the review, you by no means have to answer them, they are simply to get you thinking more in-depth about your character. Enjoy!

Original Fandom: Twelve years ago, the rich decided to banish the poor to a neighboring country, where harsh weather, poor farming grounds and little materials reside.

[That sounds like a hell of a way to kill with the economy, but it's a nice idea, also like how you've opened it. Nice start, however, couple questions come to mind. Twelve years ago from when? Today? When is the story actually set? Giving an actual date would help to imagine the level of technology these people are at. What's the country the rich people reside in called? What were the rich trying to achieve by doing this?]

During those twelve years, the rich gave 5% of their supplies to the poor at the beginning of each year, though, this was no where near enough to satisfy the population.

[Is there any groups of rich people who are sympathetic to the poor people, therefore have set up a charity or something of the sort to aid them in addition to the 5%?]

The rich eventually grew tired of aiding the poor,

[Is there anything else you could add onto this, it's a little eh. Why did they grow tired of aiding them? Perhaps some of the poor were beginning to revolt or attack the richer country? That would make sense to why the rich would send someone undercover, to find out what the 'revolution' was planning.]

and sent the leaders ten year old daughter, Catherine Hel, to watch them, discover their secrets and their security.

[I mean, personally, I would have forcibly taken a new-born poor kid, paid someone to raise it and train it in espionage, teaching it that the poor were bad, then send it out to Poor Country, that way if something bad happened it would happen to that kid and not my kid. But I'm not the leader so yeh if he wants to send his 10-year-old daughter into Poor Country that potentially has weapons, that's fine... Don't know where I was going with that.

While we're sort of on the topic of Catherine, her last name. Is it Hel or Hale? Guessing that Richard Hale is her dad but her name is Hel? I might be wrong, but that may be a typo.]

What Catherine finds, however, horrifies her as she discovers the truth behind the poor and their rough lifestyle.

[Like it.]

Full Name: Kipper Cornish

[This name works on a number of levels, I don't think you could have picked a better name, it's great.]

Location: Poor Country

[It is called 'Poor Country'? That's alright I guess, a bit like that film with all the countries called Districts or whatever it was, the name escapes me. Do the poor people refer to their country as 'Poor Country'? I would have thought the rich would have named it something 'nice' to try and lure people in after the slaughter. 

The more I think about it, the more 'Poor Country' grows on me, but still any alternatives for the name.]

Age: 16

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Species: Human

Nationality: Nationalities aren't important in the story, it's mainly financial status that's more important. But if I had to say, he would be of Scottish decent.