ISAAC's OC REVIEWs

Aarav Kumar [A*]

[This OC and review contain themes of sexual abuse and suicide, if you're uncomfortable with any of those themes, I suggest overlooking this review.]

[Please note that I ask a lot of questions throughout the review, you by no means have to answer them, they are simply to get you thinking more in-depth about your character. Enjoy!]

Note: This is a resubmission of Cassius. Also note that the language contained in this submission might be confusing due to the fact that English is not my first language and I had no idea where to put the answers to your questions, not mentioning the parenthetical overload.

[Noted. Seeing as most of the content in Cassius should be okay, I can attempt to help with the parenthetical overload, it'll mostly be a case of moving words around to lower the number of parentheses used.]

Fandom: Original. It follows a group of agents in Skotos, a village mostly populated with people who have been wronged by humanity. (It has become a haven for those types of people after people discovering it by pure luck + technology).

[ Maybe, 'a village and haven mostly made up of people who have been wronged by humanity, because of its location people often find themselves discovering it by pure luck and or with the aid of technology.'

Why do people happen to discover Skotos by luck/technology? Is it due to location, like I've guessed above? Maybe it's up in the mountains, or slap bang in the middle of a desert, or marshland so without a bit of luck maybe a sat nav you ain't got no chance of getting there.]

One day, while Skotos agents were doing their thing (school and house visits, assemblies, online posting, whipping out bells and shouting, etc) and trying (keyword: trying) to educate people about the horrible things they were doing and why they should stop it, they discovered this organization about the Angels.

[ Try something like 'One day, while the Skotos agents were trying (keyword: trying) to educate people via organising school and house visits, online postings, and town-criering {I think that's what whipping out bells and shouting is actually called, might be town-crying, Google ain't much help} about the horrible things they were doing and...' so on.]

(They were trying to convince everyone to stop what they were doing, but most of them refused to listen and called the agents names. One of the agents found out that the treatment was because of an organization called the Angels through questioning various of the villagers. The Angels apparently originated from the internet and formed an organization about their beliefs over time).

[ Just clarify who you're talking about at the start when you say 'They were'. Are we talking about the Skotos agents, or about the villagers trying to convince other villagers to stop what they were doing? Slightly confusing but very easily fixed.]

The Angels were trying to promote humanity's sick things by saying that the victims deserved to be mistreated and even insisted that not only that humanity should not show pity for the victims, but they should also even treat the victims more harshly. To counter this, the head elder of Skotos formed a team of Skotos agents to shut down the Angels (AKA kill all of them since none of them could listen to reason and almost everyone had been brainwashed by their propaganda), but the Angels wiped them out.

[ Maybe rather than have parentheses make a new sentence starting with. 'Their plan was to kill all of them since...' and finish it off with 'but the Angels wiped them all out.']

This continued down the line, through many generations. The story takes place where "Squad I" is sent out to hopefully stop the Angels.

Full Name: [High Priest] Aarav Kumar (Squad I)