The Tale of two Dimensions

Chapter 25: Early Valentine's Day Special

(Omega)"While we wait for William to recover, allow me to show you some one shots I made up. This one is a parody of a skit from the Golden Girls."

Star, Jackie, and Janna were getting supplies for a special Valentine's Day vacation they had planned with their guy friends.

(Jackie)"Let's see...we got the suntan lotion, chapstick, and half a dozen cheap romance novels."

(Star)"Then we have everything we need for the big trip!"

(Janna)"...Listen girls, maybe we don't have everything."

(Jackie)"Hm? What are we missing?"

(Janna)"Well, we're going on a romantic trip alone with Marco, Will, and Caram, so I think we should bring along some...'protection'."

(Star)"What kind of protection?"

(Jackie)"...Two armed Pinkerton guards. No, Janna's talking about..."

She motions towards a shelf, specifically at a row of small boxes.

(Star)"...A Crunch bar?"

(Jackie)"No, one over."

(Star)"A magazine?"

(Jackie)"To the right."

(Star)"Lighters?"

Jackie grabbed Star by the shoulders, then yelled in annoyance,

(Jackie)"CONDOMS, STAR! CONDOMS, CONDOMS, CONDOMS!!!"

(Cashier)"Calm down, lady! You just got out of prison?"

(Janna)"Well, how about it?"

(Jackie)"Well...we could but, I'm a little embarrassed..."

(Star)"Me too!"

(Janna)"Embarrassed? Listen, there's nothing to be embarrassed about! This is private matter, whatever we buy is our own business!"

They each took a box from the shelf.

(Janna)"I'll take one of these."

(Jackie)"And uh, I'll take these."

(Star)"......................I-I'll take these..."

(Janna)"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

The cashier grabbed his microphone, then announced, loud enough for all to hear...

(Cashier)"Hey Joe, I need a price check on some condoms!"

(Cashier)"These three teens here brought a couple boxes of the King George prophylactics!"

(Joe)"Lamb skins, or the ultra sensitives?"

(Cashier)"Two of them have the lamp skins, and the blonde has the ultra sensitive...IN BLACK."

Star's face became so red, you couldn't see her hearts.

(Jackie)"Oh God, look at all these people looking at us..."

Janna then took the mic and said,

(Janna)"Now what the Hell are you staring at? Haven't you seen three, healthy, attractive, sexually active young women before? Now, we are embarking on a little trip with some longtime guy friends, and if we want to get a little intimate, then we'll be prepared! We aren't embarrassed, uncomfortable, or humiliated. We're gonna walk out here with our heads held high, knowing what we did is morally, and socially responsible!"

To their surprise, the other shoppers began to clap and cheer.

(Janna)"Now isn't that right, girls?"

(Jackie)"*Takes the mic* I don't know who she is, I bought these for my brother."

(Omega)"Yes."