Begin Again

CHAPTER 39

It's been two days and I am finally better, so the nurse let me go to class today. Joe is nowhere to be found though. I looked into every class I knew he had today, but nothing.

"Anne...Anne..."

"What?"

I say to Emma that sits next to me.

"You should eat. They are closing in ten minutes. We have to go to the library too."

She says and I nod. The truth is that I can't eat. My stomach is so messed up and I don't know if it is from the illness or the sadness. I try to seem okay. I smile every now and then, but I don't know how to feel until I see him.

"I can't eat more. Let's go to the library."

"Okay. I'll go the trays inside. Do you want to go to the library and I'll meet you in ten minutes?"

"Sure."

I say and exit the dining hall as quickly as I can. Charlotte was there and she was looking at me all the time. I don't even know if she knows, but I hope that she doesn't.

Entering the library, I get welcomed by a very familiar scent. Books and coffee. I love that smell so much.

"Hello."

"Hello darling. How was Christmas?"

The lady behind the front desk asks me and I don't know what to say.

"It was okay. Family time mostly."

"Sounds nice, although you seem a bit strange to be honest."

"I was sick for a couple of days."

"Oh... I hope you are feeling better. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to get that."

She says pointing on the phone in front of her that is ringing.

I leave the front desk and go towards my favorite section. No one is here. I was kind of hoping someone was. A particular someone. I check the Jane Austen books and there is one missing. Sense and Sensibility. His favorite book! He must be back! I leave the English section and exit the library.

"Hey! Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"He is back!"

"What?"

Emma says and she holds my hand from preventing me to leave.

"He is back. Joe is back."

"How would you even know?"

"I just do. Let me go Em. I have to talk to him."

I say and push her hand off of my arm.

I run pretty fast and when I am almost there I slow down. The lights are turn on inside the house. I can see that through the windows. I go towards the front door and I try to hear any noises, but nothing. I knock and then I hear footsteps coming towards the door.

"Who is it?"

I hear a voice, a voice very familiar to me. It's him.

"It's me."

"Leave Anne. I told you I don't want to talk to you. It's over!"

He yells at me through the door and I feel tears coming to my eyes.

"Please Joe... Let me come in. I want to see you... please."

I say but all I can hear is his silence. I don't know what to do...