Begin Again

CHAPTER 42

I am taking one last glimpse at my now empty room. Emma and I placed all the boxes to the storage on the basement and now this room has nothing that reminds of me. I'll really miss this place.

I'll miss the people, especially Emma, Jack and Mark who have been by my side since the day I got here. I'll miss Joe, even though we haven't talked in months.

I get my suitcases downstairs and leave them in the foyer. There is one last thing I need to do before I'm gone, so I go outside. There is no one to be seen around. Everyone is getting ready for tonight. Emma and Jack have tried so hard to persuade me to stay and the dress last night was the last of it. They realized themselves that there is nothing to be done to change my mind. There was no way that I would stay. Not because of the lack of a date or because I don't like dances, but because of Joe. Because seeing him in a nice suit and not being able to run towards him and kiss him, would break me.

I am outside Joe's cottage. I try not to make any noise because I can hear him inside. I can hear Jack too. They are arguing, but I am too afraid that they might hear me, that I just push the envelope under the door and run away.

When I am home, I quickly take my suitcase and I take the off road that leads to the train station. I can't stop thinking about how much I'll miss everything here. The only thing that I need to focus, though, is how lovely I want this summer to be. I'm going to spend it doing things that I love. I'll go to the lake house and I'll try to forget everything about Joe and how I felt about him. Last time I was there all that I had on my mind was how much I love him and how desperately I wanted to go back to him. But now, I am going to have to learn how to live without him, because even if we haven't talked in months, we were on the same place. I knew that he was around here and that made me feel even for a little bit that he was with me. He is graduating and that is a good thing. I won't be seeing him and maybe that will make me forget him once and for all.

I reach the train station and I check the time. The train won't be here for another half an hour. I decide to give Emma a call. I still feel bad for yesterday.

"Hey! How is everything going?"

I say when she picks up.

"Everything is alright... Did you leave yet?"

She asks me, but her voice is not very cheerful which makes me realize that I made her sad with my decision.

"No, I am at the train station. My train won't be here for another half an hour."

"Okay. Well I've got to go. Have a nice trip back home. Bye."

"Bye."

I say and hang up. She sounded weird and a little stressed maybe... It is probably because she is getting ready for tonight.

I check the time on my phone. My plane leaves in like seven hours from now, so I have plenty of time.

"Anne?"

I hear a familiar voice coming from behind me and I turn around only to find Joe just standing there. My heart is beating so fast. What is he doing here? He is wearing sweatpants and that worn out Iron Maiden t-shirt that he loves so much. He has an envelope on his hands. My envelope. Why is he here? He is just standing there, speechless and out of breath. But I don't talk either. I just sit there waiting to see what he is going to do.

"Thank God I found you!"

He says and comes next to me on the bench. He places his hands on either side of my face, turning it into facing him, but I don't.

"What are you doing here, Joe?"

I ask him, hoping for his answer to be the one that I hope for months now.