Begin Again

Chapter 32

The next day we all had breakfast together and then left. It was a short trip but it was beautiful. It was all I needed before I head back to Plymouth for the rest of the school year. Before I head back to reality.

When we got home mum and dad went straight to bed and Tom left. I decided to use that time and start packing. I put on my Spotify playlist of my favorite Ed Sheeran songs as a background. I open my closet and start tossing clothes into my bed. I leave a few pieces out for the next couple of days and for traveling. When I am done, I put both of my suitcases on the floor by the end of my bed and lay on my bed. Turning off the lights, the only source of light in the room is coming from the candles that I lit earlier.

I close my eyes and then I take a deep breath. This is always helping me clear my mind. I have to decide what to do about the 'Alex thing'. I need to tell Joe. I want to. I don't want any secrets between us. When Alex kissed me, I run home and in all the way back I... I thought that his kiss would bring back all these things that I was feeling before. I thought that I would start thinking about him. About us. But to my surprise... I haven't. I don't feel anything. Alex belongs to the past. But Joe... Joe is my present. I want to be with him. I need to. I mean... it's been almost two weeks that we are separated and I feel like it's been ages that I haven't been able to see him, fall into his arms, kiss him. I love him. I really do.

But I am also afraid. What will happen if he doesn't forgive me? I don't even want to think about that. It would ruin everything. It would ruin us. And we have tried too hard for this to work to let it be ruined by something like that.

-Anne?

-Come in mum.

I say and get up from my bed.

-I thought you were sleeping.

-I was but if I sleep more, I won't be able to sleep tonight. I am about to cook, so call Tom and tell him to come to dinner and then come downstairs to help me.

-Okay.

I say and grab my phone to text Tom while I go downstairs.

I enter the kitchen and mom is making a salad while watching TV.

-What are we cooking?

-Oh... The food is already in the oven. I thought you might set up the table.

-Okay. Are you alright mum?

I ask her and see stops watching and turns to face me.

-Yeah, I am alright.

-I don't think you are. Is it about me leaving?

I ask her and she takes a deep breath before nodding positively. I feel so bad.

-I am sorry mum.

-No... No honey! I am happy that you are doing something that you like. I am proud of you. The fact that I am a bit emotional is because I'll miss you. But that's all.

She says and comes towards me to hug me. I feel tears coming out of my eyes while she does that, but I try to suppress them. I was never a fun of crying in front of people. Especially my parents.

-I'll be alright, you know. And the time will fly and April is going to be here before you know it. I'll come for Easter break.

-I know, honey. I know.

We ate dinner and then sat on the living room to watch TV. Well dad was watching, we were kind of talking all the time making him mad.

-He did what?