Sweet Revenge (Book One)

When Things Go Completely Wrong

          As usual, David was trying to upset me and Ryan. My Instagram was blowing up because of pictures David had posted of me with what he decided to say. Comments on them were going off the charts and I just turned my phone off. I was 3 months pregnant and stress isn’t good for pregnancies. I had to stay away from stress as much as I could plus I was getting really moody.

          “Ryan!” I yelled and Matt looked at me. I was on the couch, watching TV and Ryan slowly walked over to me.

          “What is it, baby?” he asked, politely. I glared at him.

          “I should hang you by your fucking neck.”  I said and he gulped. Matt avoided the conversation. “You made me pregnant. I swear to God that I’m going to kill you for it.” I added and Ryan walked back to the bedroom. I crossed my arms and muttered under my breath. Josh came over to Matt and whispered in his ear. Matt suddenly got up and walked to the bedroom. They were in there for the longest time. I closed my eyes and felt sadness overcome the anger. I fell into tears. Barry came over and comforted me. I felt really bad for saying those things to Ryan.

          “It’s alright. He’ll forgive you.” Barry kept saying. I shook my head.

          “No, he won’t. Not this time. I over did it this time.” I said and bawled in his arms. I wanted this day to be over. Matt walked out of the bathroom and over to us. He placed his hand on my shoulder.

          "You just need to let him calm down for a while. He'll be fine. Give me the jerk's number, so I can go of on him for everything that he has done." Matt said, stubbornly. I crossed my arms over my pregnant stomach. Matt wasn't being reasonable and needed to calm down as well. I saw Ryan walk out of the room and looked directly at me. I closed my eyes and had to let myself relax. Things were getting out of control and it needed to stop. I stood up, carefully because I didn't want to pass out again. We were still in St Louis, Missouri for the band's concert. It was a day away and they really needed to practice. I walked outside with my bare feet and took in the breeze. I loved being outside and it helped calm me down. I leaned against the bus and Ryan walked out.

          "Hey." he said. I looked at the scenery of buildings and traffic. I wanted to ignore him as much as I could.

          "Hi." I stated and I could hear him taking a deep sigh. I closed my eyes.

          "Okay, what's wrong?" he asked and I shrugged my shoulders at him. I didn't want us getting into another argument. I walked over to the grass and did a cartwheel. I'm not going to lie it looked like it was a round-off and I put no effort into it plus I was pregnant. Ryan walked over to me and sat on the ground then he patted next to him. I headed over and looked at him.

          "You know what's wrong? The hormones and the way you act when we get into a stupid argument. I don't want to get into another one." I said to him. He looked at me then at the ground I could see Matt in the window of the bus, staring at us. I was hoping that he wouldn't have to come out to stop a fight. I reached into my hoodie pocket and pulled out cigarettes. Ryan didn't realize I smoked but it was alright.

          "You're going to smoke when you know you had surgery for having cancer cause of being a second-hand smoker? You want to hurt our child?" Ryan said out of care and anger. I saw Matt in the door of the bus.

          "Ryan, it helps with all the stress that I have been dealing with.” I said to him and Matt sat on the steps of the bus. Matt was watching us to make sure there wasn’t gonna be an argument between us. Ryan wasn’t being himself and it scared me deeply. “What’s going on with you?” I asked him and he closed his eyes. I touched my stomach and my facial expression probably had pain written all over it. ‘No. No. No. No.’ I thought to myself. I didn’t know if Ryan was worried or if Matt ran over but I was freaking out. I was sitting myself on the ground and then there I felt something warm running down my leg I begged that it was sweat but then I saw blood. I cried my eyes out like a baby, I had lost my unborn baby. I refused to look at anyone and I felt arms wrapping around me. I had read that miscarriages could happen but I didn’t think it would happen to me.