The Tears That Formed The Forest

Avalon - Chapter 29

I feel something petting itself on my head. Something running softly along. Something softly brushing through my hair. Pet, pet, brush, brush. It was soft and it felt good. I wonder what it was. I kind of forgot where I ended up last. Not sure where I am. Not sure what I'm even doing. I began to wake up. My eyes feel heavy. I must have been crying a lot. I must have been sleeping too. Oh, I remember now! Blue..!

I quickly rolled over and turned to find him, looking down at me in such guilt and regret if I've ever seen it. He looked so bad. So guilty and.. regretful. He must be regretting what he had done. I would assume so. He looks like he went into a tornado and had an allergy attack. He looked like he been through some shit. I know he has, but I hated seein' him this way. It bothers.. me.. 

I slowly let my eyes adjust to him and the dark room. The only light that could be seen is the crack under the door. Blue. Blue needs me more than ever now. I have to focus on Blue. I doubt he wants to tell anyway else about this..

"Blue.."

"Avalon.. I'm so sorry.."

"Blue.."

"I didn't mean to do this to you.." He started crying.

My voice got softer. "Blue.."

"I just want to be there for you, ya know? Be the best brother ever. And I feel like I'm failing you.." He was bawling.

"Blue.. wait."

"Avalon.. I should never have done this to you. You never deserved this. Never, ever. Ever.."

"Blue.. wait."

"Avalon, no.. Don' try to reason wit me. You know I'm right.. I'm the worst.."

"Blue, wait!"

I finally got my voice out and he stopped rambling on. He paused and looked at me.

"Blue.. I still love you. And I forgive you. Just.. promise you'll never do it again. Never ever do it again."

"I'm not.. sure.."

"Blue.."

"Avalon.. I.."

..

"I just.. have a lot right now. I have a lot goin' on right now. I can't be makin' these promises.." he looked at me in such distress.

"I know I should. I know I should. I know.. I just.."

..

"Can't."

..

"I'm sorry."

..

"I think I should be alone for a while.. Ave."

"Blue, I think you been alone enough."

"I.."

There was an utter silence that did not feel right.

"Blue."

"You don't understand.."

"I can try."

"Please.."

"No! You been alone enough, it's time for me to be there for you like I'm 'posed to be..!"

He paused, fiddling with his fingers and looking at the ground. He looked like he was really going through some shit and didn't know how to handle it. Handle it or respond. He couldn't even figure out what to respond with. He looked troubled. He also looked guilty. And regretful. As he did when I woke up. He didn't look good.

"Blue.. Please."

..

"Let me be here for you."

"Okay.."

I laid down with him, cuddling him with all the love I could possibly give him. I couldn't bear to see em like this. It bothered me. It hurt me. I hated it. I hated every bit of it. I hated every second of it. I would take the pain for him so that he wouldn't have to suffer anymore. He was goin' through enough already. He didn't need this. I knew it had to do with his brother, Gale. I just didn't know it was this bad.. I just never thought it would be this bad. I never got close with Gale like Blue was, but I could tell that he loved him to death. And if it weren't for Gale, he wouldn't have a brotherly relationship. Em and Cadby don't really talk at all, he more of hangs around Dakota. 

"Blue.. Just remember that I'll always be here for you when you need me, aight?"

"Yes.. I love you, Ave."

"Love ya too, Blue.."

We stayed like that for the rest of the night.