Roommates | Daniel Seavey

fifty one

Saturday | 11:22 a.m.

Renée's P. O. V.

After about forty five minutes, we arrived at the graveyard. Haleigh's family, Mason's family, Zach, Daniel, and I were all going to the graveyard to watch my dad being buried. I invited my aunt Nancy but they were out of town.

The people with my dad's casket were already here, preparing everything. We decided to bury him where his parents, my grandparents, were buried together.

We all walked up and greeted each other and the men who were burying my dad. They told us that there was no schedule, we could say whatever we wanted whenever we wanted and we could stay however long we wanted.

We didn't really have much to say, Jenny said a few nice things and so did Teresa. Mason and I shared the few good memories we had with him. Then Haleigh began to speak.

"I didn't know Andrew very well, I only knew what Renée had told me. But when I saw him in the hospital when Jae was born, I learned a lot about him. I didn't talk with him long, but he asked to call Renée so we did. Then after the phone call he grabbed a doctors notepad and began to scribble something down. I didn't know what he was doing, so I just waited. Then he handed me the note and said 'I know that I'm dying. And you and Renée know it, too. I've written these letters to Michelle ever since she left and I kept them all in a drawer in my office. When I die, I want you to go and collect all of my letters and read them to Renée. Read them at my funeral so people know that underneath all the alcohol in my system I wasn't as terrible as I seemed. And add this one to the stack, please.' So I have all these letters and if Renée is okay with it, I'd like to read them?" She asked, looking towards me. I had no idea about the letters, but I nodded anyway.

"Dear Michelle,
It's been hard since you left. Two years but it feels like just yesterday you walked out that door. I'm drinking a lot more which I know isn't good with Renée around, but I can't seem to stop. She's four now and she's already as beautiful as you Michelle. I can see you in her. She's motivated and determined. She loves to draw pictures of animals and of me and her. She's asked about you and I don't know what to tell her. I don't want her to hate you, neither of you deserve that. But she deserves a mother. She deserved you, but you left."

Daniel wrapped his arm around me and I hugged him, still listening to Haleigh.

"Dear Michelle,
I forgot to pick Renée up from daycare yesterday. Actually I didn't forget I was just so drunk that I couldn't even sit up. I feel like a failure. She deserves better than this. But I can't seem to stop. I know I'm addicted and hat I should do something about it, but don't I deserve this? I drove you away, I know I did. I deserve to have Renée taken away from me. She deserves better."

I felt tears start to fill my eyes and I started taking deeper breaths.

"Dear Michelle,
I've been sober for three days. I took Renée to the beach and we had a blast. She looks even more like you. Her eyes, the way her nose scrunches up when she laughs. She reminds me so much of you. I love it, but it hurts like hell."

I felt myself smile a little bit, thinking of that day. But then I was back to trying not to cry.

"Dear Michelle,
I guess Renée has my social skills and not yours. She's only got one friend, but he's a good friend. His name is Mason and from the stories I've heard he's the best thing to happen to her. Today was another good day. I took her and Mason our for ice cream. Mason made her laugh the entire time. He even made the employees laugh. She's lucky to have him. I hear her talking on the phone with him at home. It's adorable. It reminds me of us. Hopefully he doesn't leave her."