The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Fourteen

Rayna

I've been riding hard well into the night and I haven't looked back. It's too dangerous to stop.
However it doesn't take me long to realise I don't know where I'm going. No one around here knows what I look like or that I'm missing yet.
I dismount my horse outside a tavern and I look for someone who would know where to go.
My adrenaline is running high and I refuse to let myself think about anything otherwise it will ruin me.
I see a Lannister soldier exiting the brothel beside the tavern and I decide to make my move.
"Would you be able to tell me where the Lannister camp is?" I ask as politely as I can and he looks me up and down.
"If you fuck me first", he sneers and I draw my knife and press it against his throat.
"Where is Jaime Lannister's army?" I ask not so kindly and he laughs.
"Do you even know how to use that thing"
"Better than you", I reply digging it into his throat until I see blood trickle down it "Now where is the camp?"
"Two days north west, you can't exactly miss it", he hisses as I withdraw my knife.
I don't thank him as I return to my horse and keep going.
The chances they've sent men after me for abandoning the wedding are high but I need answers. As much as it will hurt I need to see him or it will consume me.

Two days later it's nightfall when I arrive outside the camp. I hide on the outskirts until I see him dressed in Lannister armour and giving his men orders. Denial hits me again, he could never have done these things but in my gut I know it to be true. My minds been battling over this since the moment father told me and now I can get the truth.
I need to hear it from him. I need him to admit it. Until he does I'll never be able to accept the truth.
I wait until he enters his tent and I sneak past the drunken soldiers and pause outside the entrance to his tent. As men pass I have no choice but to enter otherwise I will be spotted. His back is turned to me as he looks at a map table on it. Battle plans against my own blood.
"Jaime", I say trying to keep my voice as strong as I can manage.
"Rayna what are you doing here?", he asks looking somewhat terrified but also moving forward to embrace me but I turn my head. As angry as I am all that comes out of my mouth is a weak, trembling whisper.
"Did you push my brother?"
"Rayna", he breathes and my heart breaks as I know it's true.
"Are you fucking your sister, is that what he saw?" I ask hearing my voice crack as it rises.
"Rayna", he says again, for once in his life at a loss for words.
"Jaime don't you dare lie to me"
"It's true", he confesses and I look into his eyes praying for some guilt or remorse but find none.
I step away from him shaking my head as I press my hand over my heart as if I could shield it from the words, as if I could stop it from breaking. All hope I had that this was some sick manipulation of Cersei's is gone and the truth is laid fully bare for me.
"Cersei told my father everything when he confronted her", I tell him and he turns his head away from me "When he told me before my wedding I prayed Cersei was lying, but gods I'm so stupid, it was so clear but I was a fool and kept denying it. My Father warned me not to trust you, he told me he believed you had something to do with Brans fall  and I defended you to him" my voice is rising as I try to yell but all that comes out is a hoarse cry "I defended you this entire time and all you did was lie"
"I did it to protect myself, to protect my sister and our children", he says in a hushed voice but I don't care who might hear.
"All of them?", I ask, there are three children, surely at least one must be Roberts but he simply nods.
"And now you are marching against my mothers house, and from what I heard your men saying you may be marching against my brother", I say praying that it's common gossip, that this won't come to war.
"Your mother and brother have Tyrion, I am going to get him back", he says.
"Is that all that matters to you right now, not the woman you promised to marry?" I ask fearing the worst. That he doesn't even care.
"My family comes first", he simply answers and pure anger consumes me.
"I could expose you", I threaten, if I did then Robert would mount his head on a spike.
"If you love me you won't", he says and I can see the fear in his eyes "If not for me then for the children"
I picture Joffrey and part of me would do it just to save Sansa from marrying that cunt but then I remember Tommen and Myrcella. I can't kill innocent children, but soon enough it won't be up to me.
"You're right, I won't because either way my Father is going to tell the King when he returns from his hunt", I tell him knowing he is too far away to stop anything.
"He will be accused of treason if Robert doesn't believe him", Jaime replies but I'm not worried.
"The proof is solid, there is no matter of if Robert believes him, he will believe him", I insist knowing Robert will take any excuse to be rid of the Lannister's.
"Anything else?" He asks putting up that wall of sarcasm and carelessness.
"The day after you pushed Bran, you came to me and asked how I was and comforted me, you did it to make sure I didn't know it was you didn't you?", I ask quietly hoping that part is wrong but I see the look in Jaimes eyes.
"Yes", he replies coldly "If I was a good man I would have left you alone but I'm not, I needed to know if you knew anything"
"I know it wasn't all a lie Jaime", I say grabbing his arm and making him look at me.
"It doesn't matter what was real and what wasn't", he mutters but I know that he feels something for me.
"What now Jaime, what do we do?" I ask unable to see past this moment. Unable to see myself returning to Kings Landing to face what I did "I ran away from my wedding, they will punish me"
"You should have gone through with it", he says taking me by surprise "If your Father is going to expose me then I can't return to Kings Landing, I'll stay here and lead my men"
"So that's it?" I ask in disbelief.
"Yes"
I shake my head at him and grasp his arm more firmly "Your not even going to say anything?"
"There's nothing to say, this is where our little romance ends", he says pulling his arm free and using his facade to defend himself.
Our little romance. It may have been that to him but I have thrown everything away for him.
"I love you Jaime", I say knowing this may be my last chance to say it "Even after this I love you"
"I only love my sister, my brother and my children", he says and I almost forgot how indifferent he can be but I know him.
"I don't believe you", I say as I search his green eyes and see the apprehension in them. His voice gives him away, it was the same tone I used when I tried to convince him that I loved Loras. He is lying. "I know you love me"
"I don't", he denies but I can see his facade breaking.
"Don't pretend that I mean nothing to you, don't pretend you only used me. I know you love me and you know I love you just as much as I hate you right now", I growl not knowing how to feel. Wanting to kiss him and scream at him all at once. 
"What did you think would happen?", he snaps and I flinch "That I'd leave the Kingsguard just like my father wants and marry you?"
"Yes", I answer
"Then you are a fool", he says and he moves to turn his back to me if I grab him roughly by the arm and force him to look at me.
"Jaime I know you love me, don't do this", I beg "You are being cold and cruel so that it will be easier for you to cast me off"
"No I'm being cold and cruel so it's easier for you to leave", he snaps again "Don't think this is easy for me"
"No but pushing my brother was, why did you have to push him Jaime", I cry my anger turning to pure pain as I shove him "He was a boy, he wouldn't have even understood what was happening let alone speak of it"
"I couldn't take the risk", he replies and I finally hear guilt in his voice "I'm leaving with an army tomorrow, I need to sleep please leave"
His eyes l don't match the cold tone he is forcing, I can see the pain, the raw emotion "If you didn't push him none of this would have happened, Gods even if you didn't attack my father we would have eloped, we would be married by now"
"Don't do this please, don't make it harder than it needs to be", he pleads and I remember when I said the same thing to him so long ago.
"This may be the last time we speak, please don't let it be like this", I plead as I grab his face "Don't lie, don't pretend to not care, I know you Jaime, you have done horrible things but I know you are an honourable man"
He looks away for a moment and falls back into his chair putting his head in his hands before looking up at me and I see the facade fully break.
"I wish we could have wed, if this was a perfect world you would be my wife but it's not, our families hate each other and I'm afraid my mistake is about to start a war", he admits and I sigh in relief as I see my Jaime. My Jaime that I hate and love. My lover that has started a war.
"If you face my brother in combat, if you care for me you will not kill him or harm any Stark or Tully", I ask of him. If he's honourable he won't harm my own blood.
"I promise", he agrees and we are both silent for a long moment.
"I thought you'd be married by now", is all he says "I didn't think you'd get my letter in time"
"I did, I ran away and broke my oath, now I can only pray my Father can protect me"
He nods and is quiet once again.
"This is goodbye isn't it", he says weakly.
"No", I promise "It's not"
"I'm sorry it came to this Rayna"
"I love you Jaime", I whisper as tears burn in my eyes and guilt consumes me "No matter what you have done I still love you"
He takes my hand and kisses it, kisses the Lannister ring I still wear. The gesture that says all the words we don't know how to say.
"I will always love you", he promises and I step away feeling my heart shatter completely. I turn my back to him and as I reach the edge of the tent I look out and see the stars and know they are my only witness to this. No one else will know of my treachery. Of how I'm about to betray my honour and my family.
I run back into his arms and my lips collide with his, hot tears running down my cheeks. His hands grasp at me pulling me as tightly against him as possible.
"Rayna", he breathes in relief and shock mixed together.
"One more night, can we pretend for one last night that everything is okay?" I ask knowing I will be going to the deepest of the seven hells for this.
He nods and kisses me passionately, dragging his lips to the neckline of my dress and back up to my lips. His hands touching me with such desperation as if he will never touch me again. I push away the thought and start taking his armour off. We pull at each other's clothes, almost tearing them with desperation for each other. One last night with him and in the morning I can pretend to hate him for what he did to Bran, for Cersei and all the other lies. Tomorrow I can pretend I came here looking for answers and screamed at him and left as I originally intended. No one will know that I still love him. Tomorrow I will lie to myself and everyone else, but not tonight.
"I love you", he whispers as my dress falls down.
"And I love you", I reply knowing this will be the last time "Always"
We are almost animalistic in how we make love. The wolf and the lion. We claw and devour each other like two animals. Wild with passion, desire, desperation, anger, despair and madness.
When it is done we are lying together in each others arms. Holding each other as if it's the last time, because it is.
"This is the last time isn't it?", I ask fighting tears once again.
"I'm afraid so", he says kissing my ring and then my lips.
"Do you remember what Robert said?", I ask
"I prefer not to", he comments and I laugh, caressing his beautiful face.
"The wolf and the lion", I remind him.
"Indeed", he says "It's rather poetic"
"It's tragic", I correct, in this moment I see him as truly that, the lion "My golden lion"
"My Lady", he replies. 
I take off one of my silver rings that I always wear and press it into his palm.
"Take this, something to remember me by", I say and he closes his palm around it "That way I have something of yours and you have something of mine"
He kisses me as he runs his fingertips down my spine. I stare out of the hole in the roof of the tent at the stars. Our only witness to my treachery.
"I never want the sun to rise"
"But it will", Jaime replies sadly. "The wolf and the lion, a tragic tale indeed"
We lie in each other's arms, tangled up in each other in silence. As I close my eyes I pretend I am back in his bed in Kings Landing and that this is just another night. Tomorrow doesn't exist. Him and I are the only ones who matter, the only ones in this world.

When I wake it's just before sunrise. I look over to see Jaime still sleeping peacefully. I carefully untangle myself from him and dress myself. It's best to leave this way. I see my ring lying beside him and place it on the table beside his sword. For a moment I stand there gazing at him. He lied to me, he lied about Bran, about Cersei, he lied about so many things but in the end I love him and he loves me. He is the only man I can ever imagine myself loving.
"Goodbye Jaime", I whisper painfully as I force myself to face what I have done.

I arrive back in Kings Landing to the news the King is dead and Father has been made regent.
I'm brought into the throne room by guards to face my father who looks absolutely ashamed of me.
"Everyone out", he orders and he waits for everyone to leave before asking "Where did you go?"
"To see Jaime", I answer as I keep my head held high.
"You broke your oath"
"I warned you I would so don't act so shocked and besides I don't care", I say, I feel too much pain to care about a bloody oath and I can see how he must view me, the ruined daughter.
"You saw him, even after what he did to Bran", he says and I the anger and betrayal in his voice makes me flinch.
"I wanted to hear him admit it, he did. He said he pretended to love me so he would know if we suspected anything, I screamed at him and left", I lie remembering my vow that the truth of that night will never be revealed. If father knew I slept with Jaime after discovering the truth he would never look at me the same.
"The Tyrells are furious", he tells me. As if I didn't already guess so.
"Loras didn't want this wedding either, we only got engaged as it wouldn't have been a proper marriage, only signed documents and nothing more" I remind him "He loves Renly and I loved Jaime"
"I know you loved Jaime but he wasn't a good man", he says surprisingly gently.
"He is a good man, he has done awful things but his heart is good, I would have married him" I say as a sob is caught in my throat and my voice cracks "It doesn't matter, it is done, please just tell the Tyrells I am sorry"
I walk away from my Father in tears and head straight to Sansas room.
"Your back", she says hugging me and I collapse in her arms from the pain and the exhaustion as I've barely slept since I left the capitol.
"I love him, it's over, and I still love him", I cry, almost screaming. She doesn't know the truth about what he did but she knows that my heart is broken.
That night I cry enough tears to fill Blackwater bay.

I carry on with my life. The Tyrells leave Kings Landing and I do my best to make it through the days but now I am forever the disgraced daughter. I begin planning my escape back to the North, to Robb.
One day I'm walking with Sansa and the Septa when we hear screams and the clashing of swords.
"Go", the Septa orders as we realise what is happening.
Sansa begins to refuse but I grab her arm and start running.
"Rayna what's happening", she cries. I don't have time to speak as I pull her inside my room.
I lock the door but I know it won't be enough.
"Sansa find something to bar the door"
I put a metal candlestick through the door barring it and we are both searching for something stronger when they begin kicking in the door.
"Stay behind me", I order as I grab my sword and remember all those years spent dueling with my brothers and all those hours Jaime spent teaching me in the secrecy of the bedroom.
The door bursts open and I see Lannister guards accompanied by the Hound.
"Stand down", a guard commands.
"Where is my Father", I demand to know.
"Under arrest for treason"
In that moment I know it's Cersei or her bastard who has ordered this and I know that if she ordered this the chances of me making it out alive are very slim.
I grip my sword tighter.
"Stand down", he repeats.
"No"

Jaime

I'm seated in my tent when a squire runs in handing me a letter.
"Ser Jaime, a letter", he says handing me it. I touch her ring which I wear on a chain around my neck as part of me hopes it's from Rayna but in my gut I know it's not.
My stomach drops when I open it and recognise Cersei's hand writing.

"Jaime my dearest brother
Ned Stark threatened to expose us and has been charged with treason, his entire household slaughtered. The youngest bitch escaped, Sansa cooperated but your whore however, she refused to stand down and attacked the guards. Turns out she wasn't as good with a sword as she thought."

I remain frozen for Gods only know how long before I find myself slamming my fist onto the table that hard it will bruise.
No. Not Rayna. She can't be dead. The world spins around me and I can hear her sweet laughter in my ear. No. She can't be gone.
Cersei did this.
Cersei is a manipulator, she always manipulates. Rayna might be alive, she could be perfectly fine and was just captured. Or she could be dead. Either way Cersei is doing this to torment me. I pray Rayna is alright. She has to be. She can't be gone, surely they couldn't be reckless enough to kill Ned Starks first born child.
If Rayna is dead not even the old gods and the new can protect Cersei.