The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Thirty Three

Rayna

A knock at my door has me reaching for Jaimes dagger which I keep strapped to my leg permanently. I'm well aware of my paranoia but with the bounty on my head the paranoia is very appropriate.
"Who is it?", I call out trying to keep my voice calm.
"Just me", Littlefinger answers. Reluctantly I stand and open the door praying he isn't here to proposition me.
"A letter", he says and I grab it a little too desperately. I sit at my table and unroll it, recognising Jaimes messy writing immediately, and notice that it hasn't improved at all in the past few weeks yet he's managed to write far more than before.

Rayna

My father denied the deal. He said that I'm free to leave the Kingsguard but if I do he forbids us from marrying. If you come south your head will be on a spike, and that's the kindest way they would have you executed. I need to stay here for Tyrion, if I leave then there is no one standing between him and Cersei and my Father. You are right, you need to stay North, take back Winterfell, do whatever you need. I can't see you coming south and I fear I may never see you again. The more I think about it the more I believe it to be true. I need to be there for Tommen, after Joffreys death I want to be close to my son. I'll be staying in the Kingsguard to be close to him. I'm sorry Rayna, I love you but fate has never been in our favour. I can't wait for you to make up your mind on whether or not you choose love or revenge. This is goodbye.

Jaime

A sob breaks the silence and my now trembling hand covers my mouth to stifle it.
Denial is the first place my mind goes.
"No, Cersei must have written this"
"Rayna, that's his writing", Littlefinger says as he lays a hand on my shoulder "I thought that he may turn back to his family"
"No he wouldn't give up this easily", I insist in pure disbelief.
"Like I said most love fades", he says.
"Don't", I warn feeling myself about to snap.
"It's been months since the Red Wedding, Joffreys death has likely caused him to turn to Cersei in your absence and she will fill it"
My hand slams hard on the table as fury consumes me.
"Cersei did this, she manipulated him just as she always does", I half scream and I go to slam my hand down again but he catches it.
"Don't hurt yourself, you are far too precious", he says running his thumb over my hand and I want to pull it away, to recoil as violently as I slammed my hand down but I can't. All I can do is sit there in pure devastation.
"You can't wait for a man who isn't willing to wait for you, who won't leave the position that lets him stay with his ex lover"
The very words send jealousy coursing through me that violently I may just go as mad as aunt Lysa
"If he truly wanted to leave her he would have left long ago", he says, his lips hovering near my ear and everything he is saying is making sense. I want to fight it, to argue as I always do but what can I say when Jaimes letter sits right in front of me. The very words I want to deny are right here and as I read them repeatedly they don't change.
"You are a woman Rayna, no longer a young girl, it's time you married"
"But Jaime", I try to say but it comes out as a barely audible sob.
"He's not waiting anymore, he's made his decision, now it's time for you to make yours"
Never. After everything Jaime and I have been through I am not giving up on him like this.
"Lord Baelish", I begin but he cuts me off.
"Petyr", he says and as I open my mouth to speak and he brings his mouth to mine smothering whatever words were about to come out. His lips still feel cold and wrong. Nothing like Jaimes. I can't do this. Not today.
I tear my mouth from his and I can't bring myself to look at him.
"I need you to deliver one last letter for me", I ask quietly praying that he still will.
"Anything for you", he responds and I can feel the pain in my heart as I make my decision.
It's one I contemplated but never would have made until now.

Jaime

I received your letter. I am going to stay here and take back the North. Fate has never been on our side. I will always love you. Goodbye.