The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Thirty Four

Rayna

Snow falls around me in the courtyard.
The sculpture of Winterfell Sansa made in the snow still stands.
I miss it. For so long I battled in my mind between Winterfell and Jaime. Revenge and love. Now I've lost one I know which one I wanted more.
I would have chosen love.
I still would but I have more honour and respect for myself than to beg for him.
Now by my honour as a Stark I will take back my home.
"Rayna", a voice says from above and I see Littlefinger walking down the stairs towards me.
Jaime has left me, he may love me but he made his choice. My heart is utterly shattered from it but now I need to make sure I have Littlefinger on my side. No matter how much it disgusts me, no matter how much I have to fake it.
"Petyr", I smile swallowing my disgust.
"You seem better", he smiles back at me.
"Not really, but I've had time to think about everything", I say knowing I need to be careful to convince him. If I'm suddenly all in he will be suspicious, he will know I'm faking it "And I have some questions"
"For me?" He asks curiously.
"Yes", I say and I motion for him to sit on the bench next to me. He sits too close for my liking.
"What is it you want?" I ask "Why kill Joffrey, why risk everything for Sansa and I"
"I loved your mother and you should know better than anyone what we do to those who hurt us", he says "I care for you and your sister"
He tucks a loose piece of my dark hair behind my ear and I make a note to myself to braid it back out of my face tomorrow. As much a I want to recoil from his touch I remember that I need to do this to protect Sansa as well. She has learned much from Cersei, myself and Littlefinger but she is still naive. I thought I was clever at sixteen but looking back I knew nothing.
"You said that you love me", I say remembering what he said when I was completely hysterical.
"I do, I loved your Mother my entire life, but she is gone and now I see you here, so young and far more beautiful than she ever was", he says looking at my lips and as soon as I force myself to move forward towards him a fraction he kisses me. The same as he always does, no warmth, just a closed lip stiff kiss. Swallowing my disgust I force myself to return his kiss. His hand cups my cheek and his lips move against mine, no longer stiff but still cold. Now it's time to find out what he truly wants. What his endgame is.
"Petyr" I say against his lips as I pull away "You love me but why did you marry Aunt Lysa, what is it you want?"
"Your Aunt is merely a means to an end, whenever I close my eyes I have an image of myself on the Iron Throne with you by my side", he confesses and of all the things I expected him to want; Lord of the Vale, Lord of Winterfell, some other position of power, King of the Seven Kingdoms was not one.
"You want to be King?"
"And you would be my Queen", he says "You pretend to be humble but I know that you desire power, in Kings Landing whenever you had power you thrived, you want that power to destroy your enemies"
In my heart I know it's true. I once said that I would never trust anyone who desired power. I tried to follow my families values, they never desired power, they had it thrust upon them. Now they are dead. I need to be smarter than Father, smarter than Robb. I need to play dirty to survive. Something they would never have done.
"I do"
He smiles almost wickedly at me "Joffrey is dead, you can kill Cersei, kill the Bolton's and the Frey's" He places a light kiss on my lips, clearly trying to seduce me "You are a killer, that is how you are different from your mother and the rest of your family, you have the heart for the game of thrones, they never did and that is why you will survive"
The truth of it unnerves me, the only other person who saw my truth was Jaime.
"Just promise me that I'm not a means to an end", I whisper in his ear.
"Definitely not, you are the one I see by my side at the end, not Lysa, not anyone else, you", he says and he kisses me more roughly this time. It's not any easier as I force myself to return it once again. Once I have him I can put him on a leash. Keep him that little bit away from me but give him just enough to keep him.
No matter how much I give him, it will never be enough for me to not miss Jaimes lips.
Perhaps the thrill of power and the fury of revenge will be enough that I forget my broken heart.