Eighty One

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Rayna

"They're coming, we have dragonglass and Valyrian steel but there are too many of them, far too many. Our enemy doesn't tire, doesn't stop, doesn't feel" Jon says as I inspect the map of Winterfell which is placed on the table. Jaime stands beside me and watches as I carefully analyse what Jon and the other men have come up with. Unsullied in the centre, the Northerners and other Westerosi soldiers on the flanks and the Dothraki in the front. Already I'm questioning these tactics. However I decide to listen first before questioning them. We thought we'd have more time, I wanted this sorted the moment I arrived home but they wanted to wait until our army was complete and we knew exact numbers, I agreed since Jaime hadn't arrived home yet. They wanted to make trenches and I gave my permission but now seeing the exact plans and positioning of the troops I can already see the faults.
Jon points to the markers representing the dead "We can't beat them in a straight fight"
"So, what can we do?", Jaime asks. All of the commanders organised the tactics including Northmen, Uncle Bryden, Lord Royce and Lord Tarly as well as the respective commanders of Daenerys' army. However since Jaime only came back not long ago he wasn't involved in some of the strategising. I trusted the war council with this considering I was making sure my people arrived to Winterfell safely and that we had the means to provide for them but I regret not taking charge sooner.
"The Night King made them all, they follow his command. If he falls getting to him may be our best chance", Jon says and Jaime nods his head as he listens.
It gives me some inner peace seeing the two of them interacting as allies, almost as friends, one day possibly brothers. I've come to learn that men bond over war and problem solving, especially men like Jon and Jaime. However they've bonded over their love for me more than anything else.
"If that's true, he'll never expose himself", Jaime says and before I can even begin to think of a strategy Bran speaks up.
"Yes, he will" everyone in the room turns to look at him "He'll come for me. He's tried before many times, with many Three Eyed Ravens"
"Why, what does he want?", Sam asks and I listen to them speak of the Night Kings motives. I still don't fully understand this Three Eyed Raven thing but if the Night King wants to come for Bran then we have a way to trap him. If Bran is the history of our kind then it does make sense for the Night King to come for him but I wish we knew exactly what that bastard wants. If he can think and feel as men do, if he desires to expand his territory and conquer or if he is a heartless walking body who simply wants to massacre our kind. Either way he is a King, many kings have fallen and he is no different.
"How will he find you?" Tyrion asks and Bran lifts up the cuff of his sleeve revealing a red mark.
"His mark is on me, he always knows where I am"
Much of what happened to Bran is shrouded in mystery but it does make me wonder just how my little brother survived all these years.
"We'll put you in the crypt, where it's safest", Jon decides.
"No", I object and everyone turns to look at me.
"What?" Jon asks incredulously.
"If the Night King is coming for him then we can't put him in the crypt with everyone else", I point out then I realise "Jon, you said that the Night King can raise the dead?"
"Well yes how else would he be able to raise an army of the dead?", he asks sarcastically but he's more oblivious than I'd thought. Part of me almost wants to laugh as he bickers almost like we did as children.
"What is the crypt full of?" I ask him and everyone in the room finally realises.
If the dead rise then that crypt will be a slaughter house.
They murmur amongst themselves and I look at Sams wide eyes. He doesn't want Gilly and their son in there and neither do I. My eyes glance around the room and they meet Jaimes whose eyes are already focused on me. Out of sight of everyone else he subtly squeezes my hand and I feel his silent reassurance that he has my back.
"Then where else do we put them?" Jon asks irritably and I wonder why he's so worked up but then I see Daenerys watching him with a painful glint in her eye and realise why. Any other day I'd fight him but he's hurting, as much as he can piss me off he is my brother and I love him. He may not be my fathers son but he is the closest thing I have to a living brother.
"The hall or perhaps the library?" Sansa suggests but Jaime shakes his head.
"No, if they get past the walls we can't defend either of those places, if they get into the castle then it will be a bloodbath"
"How would they get over the walls?" Jon asks and I become very concerned by how little they have thought this through.
"They have a dragon", I remind him and out of the corner of my eye I can almost see Daenerys flinch "The Wall itself has fallen, our walls can certainly fall"
"She's right", Tormund says "I saw it myself, if he decides to use that dragon we're fucked"
"And I have two other dragons to stop that", Daenerys says but the idea of three dragons fighting each other above Winterfell doesn't comfort me.
"So let's say they do get over the wall and into the castle", Sansa proposes "Is there anywhere that would truly be safe other than the crypt?"
The hall and the library can't be reasonably defended and if the castle itself is breached than nowhere inside it could be defended either on such short notice. The cells are a possibility but they are designed to keep people in rather than out.
"No there isn't", I answer after long consideration and then I turn to Jon "What are the chances of the Night King raising the dead mid-battle?"
"Hard to say" he replies and everyone looks to me to make the decision.
"Keep them in the crypt but I want Ghost down there with us, there is no point sending our last direwolf to the slaughter"
"Alright but what about Bran?" Jon asks and I look at Bran who knows what he must do.
"We need to lure him into the open before his army destroys us all. I'll wait for him in the Godswood", Bran says but Jon, Sansa and Arya immediately object.
"You want us to use you as bait?", Sansa exclaims and Arya puts her foot down "We are not leaving you alone out there"
"He won't be alone, I'll stay with him, the Ironborn will defend him", Theon decides and that's when I speak up.
"No", I say much to everyone's surprise "You don't have to, I can station guards with him"
Bran may be my blood brother but he is a stranger to me. Most of Bran is gone and all that is left is the Three Eyed Raven. Theon would have died to protect me and he still would, I love him and I don't want to lose him.
"I took this castle from you, let me defend you now", he says and I remember when Robb told me Theon had taken Winterfell, how furious and betrayed we were that the man who was our brother did this to us. If Theon feels that this is his redemption I can't stop him.
"We'll hold off the rest of them for as long as we can", Davos tries to assure us.
"When the time comes, Ser Davos and I will be on the walls, to give the signal to light the trench", Tyrion says but Daenerys has a different idea.
"Ser Davos is perfectly capable of waving a torch on his own", she decides "You'll be in the crypt"
I'm only half listening while they argue as I wonder where I'll be during the battle. I've fought before, in the Battle of the Bastards I held a sword and killed men. However it was different then, we either won that battle or I would have taken my life before surrendering to Ramsay. I was reckless and it was that day they began calling me the She Wolf. I want to fight, I want to hold a sword in my hand and stand on the front lines next to my husband to defend my people. My hand skims over my stomach and I remind myself that I have something to live for that is greater than myself, I can't afford to die in battle. However I refuse to hide in the crypts. I can still help give orders to those inside the walls and command the trebuchets, I can stand on the wall with a bow. I refuse to be useless.
"The dragons should give us an edge in the field", Uncle Brynden says.
"If they're in the field, they're not protecting Bran", Jon argues and Brynden raises an eyebrow at him. He has the same attitude towards him as my mother did. Gods if Father simply told her the truth it would have saved everyone a lot of grief.
"We need to be near him, not too near or the Night King won't come", Jon continues "But close enough to pursue him when he does"
"What about the men fighting in the field, fire is the only thing that can properly hold the dead back", I argue and Daenerys gives me a dirty look.
"They are my children, I am not sacrificing another one to your cause", she says coldly and everyone falls completely silent. I wonder where this attitudes suddenly come from and then I see Jon lowering his gaze and remember again that they are both pissed off because of each other. She came here for Jon and now that he's pulling away from her she doesn't want to be here.
"Daenerys, I am thankful for your assistance in this battle but you would be wise to remember that if we don't stop the dead your throne will mean nothing", I declare, no longer holding back "If you want you can go to Kings Landing and take it, you might get a month or two before that army is on your doorstep and by then half of your kingdom will be in the army of the dead"
Everyone falls silent. She doesn't argue but the look in her eyes says everything.
Arya clears her throat "Dragonfire will stop him?"
"I don't know", Bran says "No one's ever tried"
He is meant to know everything but the one important thing we need to know he doesn't know. Of course.
"We're all going to die", Tormund says, saying what everyone is thinking and then he looks at Brienne "But at least we die together"
Jaime and I share a knowing look as Brienne looks as if she is about to reach for her sword.
"Well is that it?" Brynden asks and I take another look at the plan laid out before me and shake my head.
"No", I say knowing I have one chance to fix this and save lives "I left the most experienced military commanders and strategists in charge of preparing for this battle but even I can point out far too many flaws that should be obvious to you"
"I tried telling them", Brynden mutters and I look around to each of the commanders in this room who avert their gaze, even Jaime.
"Rayna, you don't have the battle experience", Jon tries telling me gently but I raise an eyebrow at him.
"I've lived through the Battle of Blackwater bay, Stannis' attack on Winterfell, the Battle of the Bastards and saw Daenerys' attack on the Lannister troops", I remind him "I listened to Robb tell me of his battles and had him explain his plans to me, I've listened to my husband tell me how the greatest battles were won. I have seen war and observed their tactics and taken note of how they lost or how they won. I may not be a soldier or a man but I am a Queen and I will do and say whatever I must to save the lives of my people"
Bryden actually cracks half a smile "Now that is the Queen I bent my knee to, my own blood, you've got your brothers mind for strategy"
Jaime looks somewhat embarrassed, I don't think his dignity will ever fully be repaired after losing the Battle of the Whispering Wood to my brother. A sixteen year old inexperienced commander.
"Rayna is the smartest person I know, my uncle is right she does have a mind for strategy, she planned an escape from Kings Landing and survived it and you would be wise to remember who raised the majority of the army for the Battle of the Bastards" Sansa reminds Jon.
"You should listen to our sister" Arya chastises him who is now the one looking embarrassed while I've never felt more proud of my sisters. On the same side instead of fighting.
"Sorry", he apologises quietly "You know where I was coming from"
"I know Jon", I say gently making sure he knows that I'm not angry "But now isn't the time for disagreements, it is the time to survive"
"So what do you think?" Jaime asks and I know that he will always listen, always support me.
I start by tapping on the markers symbolising the trebuchets.
"The trebuchets should not be between the Dothraki and unsullied. They are on the front lines and they cannot be defended and if the dead get past the Dothraki, which they will, they cannot be used"
"Where would you have us put them?" Davos asks being a practical man as always. He doesn't stand around arguing, he does what needs to be done.
"Inside the walls of Winterfell, that way we can use them even if we must retreat inside the walls"
"What else?" Jon asks listening intently without argument.
"The Dothraki being the first line of defence, tell me what exactly do you plan on doing with them?"
"They will charge forward to the army of the dead and initiate the attack", Jorah says and I see where their strategy came from. It's classic Dothraki strategy and with a small army that fears being trampled it would work perfectly but not with this army.
"That will be a meaningless slaughter", I say half horrified that they even supported the strategy considering the circumstances.
"We tried to advise against it", Jaime informs me as he nervously glances at Daenerys.
"The Dothraki are my men Ser Jaime, you are the commander of the Northern and Lannister army, not mine", she says coldly and I realise just what has happened.  Everyone's own damn pride has gotten in the way of survival.
"With all respect you should heed the advice of these commanders and myself for the sake of the lives of your men", I advise her but she is stubborn and headstrong, much like myself. However I rarely let it get in the way of the greater good.
"I will do what I wish with my army", she insists and I see that look in her eye, the look that should be feared.
Tyrion clears his throat "Daenerys, as your hand I advice you to heed their advice"
"And do what with them?"
"Move them to the flanks where they can be of use and not killed within the first minutes of the battle", I advise her.
"Just as I suggested", Jaime mutters and thankfully I'm the only one who hears.
She opens her mouth to argue but Jorah interrupts "I know these men your Grace and I think that you should listen, move them to the flanks"
I give him a small smile thanking him and he gives me an acknowledging nod. He is a Northerner even though he loves and serves Daenerys, he is a Mormont of Bear Island.
"Fine", she agrees reluctantly and by the look on her face I can tell she's going to rip into Tyrion and Jorah for arguing with her once they are alone.
"Is that all?" Jaime asks "I can run through anything else you're unsure of"
His tone calms me, he is the only person in this room that won't let their pride get in the way and would never argue with me in front of others, if anything he's glad that I challenged Daenerys because no one else will.
"What about the archers and the defences for the wall?"
"Archers will be stationed on the wall but the main focus has been on the infantry"
"I'll be on the walls commanding the archers and the trebuchets", I decide realising that they clearly need it "I want barrels of boiling oil on the walls ready in case the ground troops must retreat, once they are in side then we will burn everything we can outside the castle to stop the dead from getting to the walls"
"I'll get right to it", Davos says and then he's gone. I look at the map but anything that needs to be changed such as creating more complex trenches we don't have enough time to fix.
"Are you done barking commands now" Randyll asks snidely, although I regret saving him from those dragons at least I have men from the Reach because of him.
"You should have more respect considering you are talking your Queen", Jaime warns.
"But she isn't his Queen", Daenerys replies coldly but her eyes burn through me.
"No but if anything were to happen to you-" Sansa begins but Daenerys doesn't let her finish.
"Then what?" Daenerys says curtly and I curse silently but Tyrion interrupts.
"What Sansa simply means is that if something happened to you then Rayna wouldn't allow Cersei to sit on the throne" he says trying to diffuse the situation but he only makes it worse.
"So if it were not for me you would claim the Iron Throne?" she asks reading in between the lines and the room goes dead silent.
What I say next could change the course of history. I've dealt with many powerful and temperamental people over the years. I bartered with Tywin for Jaime and for my families lives, I kept Joffrey tamed enough not to seriously harm Sansa and I, I tiptoed around Cersei to survive Kings Landing, convinced Robb not to kill Jaime and to let us wed, manipulated and seduced Littlefinger and survived Ramsay. If I can survive the most sadistic men I've ever met and the best players of the game then perhaps the wolf can tame the dragon.
"My lords may you excuse us", I ask. I don't want them to witness this. They quietly and quickly begin to leave and Jaime gives me a questioning look. I nod to him to leave but I know he will be standing outside the door waiting for us, he is the last to leave and the room is silent when he closes the door.
"Answer me truthfully", she orders as her voice trembles. I can't tell if it's with fear or anger.
"Yes", I confess knowing that lying will make her even more suspicious "Cersei is not fit to rule and if there were no rightful heirs then yes I would take the throne"
Except there is a rightful heir. The true born son of Rhaegar Targaryen.
"But there is a rightful heir", she says and the look in her eyes frightens me. Not for my sake but for Jon's. Now is the only time I will ever make myself appear weak. The Lords are not here to witness this, they cannot believe that their Queen is weak but I can make Daenerys believe whatever I want her to believe. The best lies and deceits have truth to them.
"There is and it is you, haven't I already declared you as the rightful queen?" I ask and she can't deny that. I reach across the table and take her hand "Daenerys I remember years ago I sat in the great hall and Cersei proposed that I marry Joffrey, I told her no because I didn't want to be Queen. I simply wanted to live a happy life with a man who loved me, I came so close to that but then my home was taken and I knew I had a duty to take it back. I've never longed for anything that wasn't mine by right and the Iron Throne is yours by right"
"And if I died?", she asks. As I search her eyes I realise that she's not jealous or angry, she's afraid. She knows the people respect me and know me. She knows that if anything happened to her army or her dragons then I could usurp her. If we survive this battle both our armies will be fucked and we would likely be on an equal playing field if it wasn't for the dragons and she is afraid I could take the throne from her. If I denied it outright she would never believe me, she needs to believe that I would only take the throne if absolutely necessary.
"I'll never be safe with Cersei alive, I'm terrified", I say forcing tears to come to my eyes as I bring my shaking hand to my stomach "As long as Cersei lives Jaime and I won't be safe and neither will our baby"
Her mouth hangs open as she finally notices the bulge which can barely be hidden.
"I don't want that throne, I never want to return to Kings landing", I say tearfully "I just want to stay here in my home with my family, with my husband and have my baby"
Her eyes are wide as she sees my tears but then they narrow "You'll have an heir meanwhile I can't have children, what if people realise that, what if they call out for a new dynasty?"
"Daenerys, Jaime has seen two of his sons die be sure of that throne and he held his dying daughter in his arms", I say knowing that this part is true, that he is afraid of losing our child to power "He doesn't want to lose another child to the Iron Throne, yes he will father the next king or queen of the North but as a Stark and a Queen it is my duty to do that which he knows. The only place in the south our children will ever rule is Casterly Rock, Jaimes ancestral home"
For a moment she looks as if she's been put at ease but perhaps she is more clever than I've given her credit for.
"If that's what you want, to just stay here and raise your child then why was my hand aware that you had considered the Iron Throne?"
She's scraping for reasoning behind her theory but it's falling apart. Tyrion merely jumped to my defence, he didn't reveal anything that couldn't be gathered by common sense.
"He is your hand, it's only natural for him to be concerned with what he would do if anything were to happen to you. When I found out I was pregnant on the way to the meeting with Cersei I went to Tyrion, Jaime was in Kings Landing and Tyrion is the child's uncle after all. I told him how terrified I was that Cersei would try to harm either Jaime or myself and the child. I told him that I would do whatever necessary to protect my family. Do me a favour and kill that whore so my family will be safe and far away from that throne"
Then I realise that every word I am saying is the truth, yet it is not the complete truth. In my heart all I ever wanted was a life with Jaime, if I was still the young girl I was the first time I met him then every word would be true. That girl never wanted power, she wisely mistrusted those who wanted it. Since then I have seen kings and queens rise and fall, I saw what power did to my brother. I should be afraid but I'm not. I used to be torn between duty and love and somehow I managed to achieve both. Now there is a third option. Power. Duty, love and power. Power to be destroy those who would harm those I love. Power to make this world one where children wouldn't watch their fathers lose their heads, where wives wouldn't sob over their husbands who never returned home, where sisters wouldn't have to lay awake at night wrecked with guilt over failing to protect her siblings. A world where no one would have to suffer as I did, as my family did. I fulfilled my duty to the North, I married the man I love but I still don't have the power to protect those I love. I can't protect them from Cersei and if Daenerys turns on us then I won't be able to save them. I don't have that power. Duty, love, power. I intend to have all three.
However not until the dead are defeated.
"Daenerys", I say squeezing her hand tightly as tears fall down my cheeks "All I've ever wanted is to keep my family safe, we will defeat the dead and you will take what is yours and I can stay here in my home, with my husband and have my child"
Her wall breaks as she looks away and clears her throat. Her cheeks flush as she pulls her hand away and says "I feel foolish that I even considered that you might have ulterior motives, Jon's told me many times how much you care for your family and I wish you and your child every happiness"
Guilt creeps in as I know she is being genuine. This side of Daenerys is the one I am friends with, that I genuinely do care for. But I have seen the coldness in her heart when she faces those who refuse to bend the knee to her. How she doesn't even flinch when her dragons burn innocent men. As much as I want to be her friend and ally I can never fully trust her.
Yet I cannot bring myself to see her as an enemy.
"Now let's not worry the men", she says squeezing my hand with a warm, comforting smile "Is there anything else?"
"Please, if things are going badly out there help our men", I plead and she knows what I mean. She has two dragons and they could be the deciding factor in this war.
"Our men?", she repeats as a question.
"For this battle there are no houses, it is simply the living fighting the dead", I remind her and I know that Jon would be proud.
"Very well, I suppose I'll see you when it is time", she says and the ominous promise that the time is about to come sends a chill through my bones. When dawn comes nothing will be the same.
When she leaves I wipe my tears away and when Jaime walks in I realise he must have sent everyone else away.
"What happened?" he asks and the tears filling my eyes are real as I wrap my arms tightly around myself and let go of the sob I've been containing. He immediately pulls me into his arms and holds me close "Sweetheart?"
I can't form words as he clutches my hand
"Your shaking what happened?", he asks again and he tries to steady me but I feel as if I'm going to fall.
"We're going to die tonight aren't we?" I finally manage to say and I feel my knees fall from under me and he catches me in his arms and holds me tightly. I find my footing and wrap my arms around his neck to steady myself.
He kisses the top of my head "No, you won't, you will inside these walls"
I'll be safe but he won't be. I've almost lost him far too many times, tonight will not be the night I lose him.
"Even if we win, it will mean nothing to me if you die"
His eyes are sparkling as he pulls away enough to look at me and I realise that they're tears, his voice is hoarse as he says "I promised that I'd never leave you again, I intend to keep that promise"
I kiss him fiercely as I know that I may never see another dawn with him by my side.

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