The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Thirty One

Jaime

Before the wedding there is one more person I need to see.
When I arrive to Sansa's chambers they've just finished dressing herY for the wedding and I remember that she is my sister in law now through Tyrion. Ned and Cat were so against letting Rayna marry a Lannister but it was Sansa who ended up married to one. At least she ended up with the best one. A dwarf is better than a cripple, a sadistic bastard or a young boy.
"Ser Jaime you're back", she exclaims.
Her handmaiden steps forward and in a foreign accent asks "Rayna, did she survive?"
She must be Tyrion's lover, the one Rayna spoke of so highly.
Tears fill poor Sansa's eyes and I realise that she thinks she lost her sister as well as her brother and mother. The shadows in her eyes make my blood run cold, she is far different from the joyful, young and naive girl that I knew.
"Yes", I answer quietly and Shae embraces Sansa as relief consumes her, but that's not all "And so is Arya"
Sansa stares at me in utter shock and collapses into a chair nearby and stutters "Arya is alive?"
I nod smiling somewhat sadly. Rayna may have been closer with her brothers but when we were reacquainted I realised just how much she loves her sisters. The rawness and desperation in her voice when she screamed out for Arya and how she fought constantly for Sansa. Yet they are all still separated.
She would do anything for those she loves and in that we are the same.
"You must be Shae", I say to Sansa's handmaiden and she nods looking somewhat surprised.
"You've heard of me?"
"Rayna spoke very highly of you", I tell her and she wears a small bashful smile.
"I'll leave you two alone, you have much to discuss"
With that she leaves locking the door behind her.
"Rayna and Arya are alive?", she asks again in disbelief "Where are they?"
"Rayna should be in the Eyrie with your aunt Lysa and Arya is with the Hound, I don't know where"
"What happened?", she asks and I almost expect her to burst into tears but she only looks at me with a cold rage burning in her eyes, the same rage for the loss of her family that I saw in Rayna's "Why aren't they together, when did you find Arya, gods how did you and Rayna even find each other and what happened to your hand?"
I decide to give her the story, the details she would have heard would have been distorted, she needs to hear the truth.
"Your mother freed me to bring you and Rayna home, then I was taken prisoner by the Bolton's and lost my hand. Rayna has escaped Kings Landing at this point and was also captured by the Boltons and we became reacquainted. She by some miracle found it in her heart to forgive me for the brawl with her father"
She looks at me carefully, reading my face and taking note of the tone of my voice. Just how Rayna does when she's suspicious or mad, or both. My stomach sinks as I realise just what she knows.
"For pushing Bran and sleeping with your sister you mean?"
"How do you know?" I ask hesitantly.
She's young, fifteen or sixteen most likely but she's no child anymore. Cersei and Joffrey stole that innocence from her. She has the capacity to understand exactly what we did and the disgust in her voice is clear but it isn't as bitter as I had expected.
"Rayna was broken, I remember when she came back after she ran away from her wedding she was screaming about how she loved you and that she hated you. I didn't know why then but eventually after a few comments I pieced it together. She then told me what our Father told her and what you told her. I was all she had and she was all I had"
"Then you would know why I did it"
She looks conflicted as she meets my eyes "I do and I understand why Rayna was so torn over it. Despite all the bad and all the lies she still loved you"
"And I loved her", I tell her "I still love her"
She clears her throat "What happened after you two found each other?"
"Well she saw I'd lost my hand and that postponed her from crucifying me and we became", I clear my throat awkwardly hoping she understands what I mean "Reacquainted"
She nods her head and I continue "Trust me afterwards she did crucify me but the time apart had only made us love each other more. We were then delivered to Robb who she then crucified for leaving you in Kings Landing"
The coldness finally leaves her eyes and tears fill them. "He said it was complicated but we both know your sister, I had to hold her back from assaulting him with one hand"
She smiles a little knowing what Rayna is like when she's mad.
"What happened with her and Robb?" She asks. Rayna wasn't the only one praying Robb would save her.
"I didn't know just how hot headed Starks are until they reunited, they fought it out and your mother tried to intervene and it was just a big mess. Then I got involved and Rayna was standing between us thinking he'd try to kill me which is fair enough. Eventually it calmed down and they hugged it out and since we know how stubborn she is Tobb and your mother reluctantly agreed to our engagement on the condition I bring you home. Robb wished he could have gotten you two out, but I suspect my Father wouldn't have traded you two for me anyways. I'm his son but he wouldn't have agreed to a trade unless Robb bent the knee and then he would have likely been executed like your Father"
"It would have been a kinder death", Sansa says quietly "Is it true what they say, it it true about what they did to his body and his direwolf?"
Gods she heard. I wouldn't be surprised if Joffrey tormented her with it.
"Yes", I say quietly and she nods tearfully.
"Rayna did she see it?"
I nod again wishing I could forget the sound of her scream. Wishing I could have done more to comfort her but how can you comfort someone who's seen such things.
"What about Arya, you haven't mentioned Arya?"
"We were at the Red Wedding, I was meant to leave afterwards to come here and bring you North to them. Rayna was suspicious before we even arrived after our stay with Roose but we all ignored it. We were guests, we thought surely they wouldn't harm us. Roose sent me outside and then I became suspicious as well. Then Catelyn sent her out, Rayna knew in her gut that something bad was going to happen, she had figured it out. Your mother and brother thought she'd be safest with me and that they'd deal with Roose but they never got a chance. They closed the doors and the Rains of Castamere began to play. At that point we both knew without a doubt but all we could do was hide as it began. We were under a cart when we saw Arya hiding, she must have heard they they'd be there and well, she's lucky she didn't come any earlier. Rayna tried to go to her but I held her back knowing that she would have been killed before she reached her. The Hound took Arya away and we managed to escape"
She nods just as distraughtly as Rayna was. The Starks love each other fiercely, they didn't have the constant family above all else lectures Cersei, Tyrion and I did but they are far more loyal and proud of their house than we are. Rayna once said that their father used to say the lone wolf dies but the pack survives, that they may fight but in the end they are Starks.
"Remind me again why Robb pardoned you?"
"Well he knew how much I loved your sister, your mother knew I would do anything for her and that's why she let me escape in the first place. As much as he hated to admit it he knew that I became a better man when I was with Rayna, when I was away from Cersei. Rayna wouldnt let him harm me, he knew that if he did she would never forgive him so they reached a compromise. I ride south and tell my father what a gracious captor Robb is, that I will leave the Kingsguard and become his heir if you are returned to Robb or if he didn't agree I'd smuggle you out. Then we'd go to Winterfell and I'd marry your sister"
She looks unsurprised, she knows Rayna and she knows Robb but there is still a question on the top of her tongue.
"Will you bring me home?"
She sees the look on my face and she can't meet my eyes "Your home is inhabited by the Bolton's who betrayed your family, the only place for you to go is the Eyrie with your aunt Lysa, but you are Sansa Lannister now so it complicates things"
"You promised Rayna that you would bring me home", she says curtly and she reminds me too much of her mother "Rayna would have told you what they did to us, you need to get me out of this castle"
"What exactly did they do?" I ask hesitantly. Rayna told me bits and pieces but I need to hear it from Sansa. I need to hear exactly what Cersei did to her.
"It began after you left but it was after my father lost his head it got bad. Joffrey took us to the wall to look at his head, when I refused to look he ordered Ser Meryn to hit me. She pulls me out of the way and took the hit for me", she swallows and she begins trembling "Joffrey would want to harm me for anything Robb did but Rayna would intervene and then she'd take the beatings. She was always so bruised and when Tyrion tried to stop it Cersei decided that it would hurt Rayna more to watch me suffer. The Kingsguard would hold her there as they'd hit me and beat me"
Of course Rayna would take the beatings. She would do anything for her family.
"When she began to feel helpless that's when she broke. She began to drink and Tyrion and I became very worried. She doesn't know that I know this but Tyrion told me that one day he found her about to jump from one of the windows of the Red Keep"
She mentioned it to be but gods hearing it causes a pain I can't explain. The same pain and helplessness that she must have felt at not being able to protect Sansa.
"He talked her out of it but I know it wasn't the first or last time she nearly did it. But slowly after months of Cersei's death threats Rayna realised that if Cersei was going to kill her she would have done it by now. Then the night of Blackwater bay she was acting very drunk to throw Cersei off but I think she was a bit drunker than she realised. When Cersei told her by morning there would be another bastard in her belly when they were talking about the rape that would happen at the hands of the soldiers she looked at Ser Meryn"
I flinch as I realise what she's suggesting. The fact that Cersei would order that disgusts me in a way I didn't know was possible.
"Rayna didn't realise because she just threatened Cersei right back but she wouldn't have made it through the night unharmed no matter what happened. Then when Cersei caught her I hadn't been seen yet, she distracted Cersei so I could free back to my room because she knew that if I was caught then worse would happen to me than a beating. Then she was gone and every soldier in the city was looking for her, I thought she died going over that cliff until Cersei's spies told her she was in Riverrun"
I wish Rayna killed Cersei that night. I wasn't there to protect her but now I can protect Sansa. The only way to do that is to get her to the Eyrie.
"I will figure something out, I promise, Tyrion will help you", I promise her then cringe as I ask "Is your marriage consummated?"
"No", she answers much to my relief. I knew Tyrion wouldn't fuck a child although she'd be about fifteen by now, nearly sixteen, she'll be of proper age soon. Rayna was seventeen when I met her, she'd be twenty now. Now nearly three years have passed and she has become a spirited and certainly strong willed beautiful woman, meanwhile I'm a forty year old knight with one hand. The last two years have aged me considerably, I swear I can see some grey in my hair.
"Then the marriage can be annulled on those grounds", I assure her "I'm planning on leaving the Kingsguard and becoming my fathers heir on several conditions, one of them will be that your marriage is annulled and then either myself or Lady Brienne will take you to your Aunt Lysa depending on what my Father wants"
He won't want me going north most likely so Brienne will have to take her. Then once she is far away enough my fathers men can't come for her I'll either head north or work on having Rayna pardoned.
"Thank you Ser Jaime" she responds looking rather uncomfortable in the dress she's wearing to the wedding.
"Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you", I say as I turn to leave.
"Jaime", she says and I turn back to her "You know how much Rayna loves you. I don't know if you know this but she fought so hard for you to be freed, and when she lost the baby she was absolutely beside herself with grief, she just wanted you there despite everything. She is madly in love with you and she would do anything more you"
"I know", I respond going stiff as she mentions the miscarriage "Don't doubt that I love her, I'd do anything for her"
"When we were growing up she always said that she didn't want a prince, or some noble lord, she wanted to marry a knight who could protect her more than some fancy prince ever could", she laughs at the memory "and when she came of age to marry she told me that she would not marry unless she truly loved the man"
She certainly fought hard for that, between her and Ned I'm not sure who was more stubborn
She loves you, she risked everything running away from her wedding to Loras, she said that she would rather suffer that shame than marry someone who wasn't you. I know the truth about you and Cersei and the children, if she could forgive you after being that furious she truly loves you"
I don't think the guilt will ever go away, the guilt of lying to her and what I did. But she forgave me despite it all, she loves me far more than Cersei ever did and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to her for having the heart to forgive me "I know"