The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Sixteen

Jaime

"What", I stutter all the cockiness and sarcasm in my voice gone. She's pregnant.
"Did you rape her?" He repeats, the anger burning through his calm demeanour. They truly do think that fucking lowly of me.
"No I didn't rape her, but yes I slept with her, many times but it was very mutual", I insist but that's not what I'm concerned about "Did I hear you right, did you just say that she's pregnant"
He pulls a letter out and even in the dark light I can recognise her hand writing.
"Let me read it to you"
I stay completely silent as he reads his the letter to me. Rayna is pregnant with my child. She is pregnant in Kings Landing with my sister and I am stuck here. Even worse Cersei knows she is pregnant. Fuck she's right to be terrified and of course she left out everything about our relationship in the letter, no wonder why he's asking if I forced myself on her. If she's two months along the child could only have been conceived that night in the camp. We were always careful when it came to preventing pregnancy, I'd take precautions and she would take drinks meant to prevent pregnancy but neither of us considered that the last night we spent together.
"If Cersei knows it's only a matter of time before she is dead", I say fearfully, each thought I have only making the fear stronger as I know what Cersei is capable of.
"So it's true then, you and your sister?" he asks not even attempting to shroud the disgust. Rayna's brother is the one who dictates what happens to me here, now is not the time to lie. He already knows I pushed Bran, I have nothing else to lie about.
"Yes it's true, yes her children are mine but I'm less concerned about Cersei and her sadistic child that is about to rule the seven kingdoms and more concerned about Rayna and my unborn child"
"You pushed my brother", he growls and I see why they call him the young wolf. Only a few months has changed him considerably from the boy I would see Rayna laughing and sparring with. He may be a boy but he is beginning to look like a lord.
"He saw me and Cersei, I hoped the fall would kill him", I confess "I never wanted him to live as a cripple"
He shakes his head at me barely restraining himself, looking like he's about to come in here and beat me.
"She sent two letters one for me and one for you, I haven't read it but I'm interested to hear what it says", he says holding it up "You can get it if you tell me why I have to explain to my mother who wants to see your head on a spike even more than I do why her first grandchild is going to be a Lannister"
No wonder she sent the letter to Robb and not to Catelyn. I'd rather have this conversation with him than her mother. Ned doesn't know either, not that he is in any position to help her.
"Alright you want an explanation here you go. Our families may despise each other yes but I did bond with Rayna, here in Winterfell the night of the feast, she reminded me of Cersei when she was younger and I was interested in her then my dear sister summoned me to that damn tower and seduced me and Bran caught us so to avoid the risk of our children being exposed as bastards I pushed him. Then I ended up comforting Rayna as sick as it was to make sure no one knew anything and we became close"
"You used her", he says and I realise he and Rayna are alike, they pick out the important parts amongst all the bullshit.
"I didn't want to but I did. She was the only woman who saw me as more than a Kingslayer, she cared more than my sister ever did, and I felt things I'd never even felt for Cersei. The passion and lust blinded both of us and neither of us cared about the consequences. I knew it was awful to be seducing her after I pushed her brother so I tried to do the honourable thing knowing that as a Stark she values honour, I stopped the affair along the kingsroad, well I tried to anyways"
He scoffs when I start speaking of honour. He is still ignorant like his father.
"Later after my least favourite spawn started a riot instead of protecting Cersei I tried to find Rayna and I found her about to be raped by several men, needless to say they all died and she sought me out for comfort and we admitted that we had grown fond of each other. She was in love with me and somewhere along the way I fell in love with her. That was maybe several months ago, I tried to be honourable by her. I never asked for anything sexual from her so no I definitely didn't force myself on her"
I am many things but I am certainly not a rapist and I won't let him stand here and accuse me of that when I've just found out that she is pregnant with my child.
"Then how did she get pregnant?", he asks naively and I scoff at the suggestion Rayna couldn't possibly want to have sex.
"Believe it or not, a young woman can have those desires and initiate such things, maybe you'll figure that out when you're older", I taunt and he doesn't look very impressed "We were in love and I had just proposed to her"
"You proposed to her?" he scoffs in disbelief.
"I did, I had never slept with anyone but Cersei until her, I had plans to leave the Kingsguard and marry her. I was simply waiting for my father to return and get Robert to dismiss me from the Kingsguard."
"She was engaged to Loras Tyrell though", he questions and I groan internally.
"Don't remind me", I mutter "Ned knew that we were involved with each other and he didn't like that so he arranged for Rayna to marry that pompous cunt who's been sleeping with the Kings brother for years. Rayna and I however continued our secret affair. When she heard that they were actually beginning to plan the wedding I asked Ned for her hand, he refused of course and I knew there was no changing his mind. We were going to elope to Casterly Rock then everything happened, my brother was taken and-"
"You attacked him in the street", he says barely containing his anger still. It's true what they say about Starks, quick tempers slow minds. Well Rayna is the exception to that. A quick temper and an ever quicker mind. Or perhaps it's the other way around.
"Yes, my brother had been kidnapped and I wanted him back, I didn't plan on one of my men interfering and stabbing him in the leg. I road south and she wrote to me telling me to face what I did and all that and I wrote back to her telling her to stop the wedding. She received that on the day of her wedding then Ned told her everything. That I fucked my sister and pushed your brother"
"And how did she take that?", he asks "I'm surprised your not dead"
"So am I", I agree "On the day of her wedding she took off and rode to see me and well she was quite upset with me. I told her everything, confirmed everything your father had said and eventually I was honest with her. Though as she said in the letter she was disgusted, hurt, shocked, I couldn't even look at her but she begged me not harm you if it came to it and I haven't. Then we spent one last night together, even after she knew everything"
"She still fucked you after everything you did?" He asks in disbelief.
"She gave me her ring", I say pulling it out from under my shirt and he definitely recognises it "She must have fallen pregnant that night, then she was gone before I woke up. She is alive and healthy thank the gods but she won't be for long"
"So you lied to her, fell in love with her, saved her, fucked her, got her pregnant and broke her heart"
"Yes, that pretty much sums it up" I agree but I decided to give him the whole story. I'd rather tell him everything than be accused of raping her, the thought of ever harming her disgusts me, let alone the thought of forcing myself on her.
He reluctantly passes me the letter. I open it desperately, anxious to see what she has to say.