The Wolf and The Lion || Jaime Lannister

Twelve

Rayna

Jaime is preparing for us to elope when I decide to go to see my father. I planned on leaving without saying goodbye but I can't. As angry as I may be I know why he won't let me marry Jaime. I understand his reasons but I don't agree with them. Jaime is a good man who loves me and to me that's all that matters, my father needs to think of our house however.
I can't leave without seeing him one last time for only the Gods know if I will see him again.
"Jaime came to you and asked you for my hand in marriage and you still refused", I say as I enter his office.
"I did", he replies and I know he feels no remorse for refusing it but I am his daughter and he doesn't want to hurt me and I don't want to do this. I don't want to betray my family but I have to as much as it breaks my heart.
"Why, why can't you let me marry the man I love?" I ask one final time "And don't say because of the Tyrells"
"The Lannister's are wicked people, Jaime is a Lannister, he killed his king and your mother is certain they are responsible for Brans fall"
"Okay say it was the Lannister's, let's just say it was Cersei fine I hate Cersei more than you or even Tywin", I say knowing that if any Lannister's would be involved it would be Cersei "but Jaime knows nothing, he is a good man and he isn't like the other Lannister's, he doesn't scheme or manipulate, he just wants to love me"
"I've known him for far longer than you, let me remind you that he is twice your age and I don't believe he is being honest with you about his intentions, I despise him, and I despise the Lannister's"
"Then you will have to despise your own daughter, I am going to marry Jaime", I declare.
He is shocked by this and steps back away from me. Not by me wanting to marry Jaime but by my attitude, a side of me he has never seen and that I kept well hidden from him "Rayna don't be foolish, he can't leave the Kingsguard"
"He can and he will, I am asking for you to peacefully dissolve my engagement to Loras Tyrell before I break it", I threaten no longer playing nice. This is my final chance to do this without destroying everything. As angry and ashamed as my father may be right now it will be nothing compared to what he will feel if I elope.
"You are a Stark, we don't break our oaths"
"Well good thing I'll be a Lannister", I reply and the look of shock on his face makes my stomach churn. I hate fighting with him but I will not marry Loras.
"I'm done here", I say quietly as I leave, I've caused enough damage. Tonight I will be gone and I will be free, I just pray it's worth what I am giving up. I pray it's worth leaving my family but either way I'm choosing between Highgarden and Casterly Rock, between Loras and Jaime, between nothingness and love. I've made my choice.

I find Arya practicing with her sword.
"Is this where you train with your dancing master?" I ask with a large but sad smile.
"Yes, look"
She shows me some of her moves with a sword and I laugh a little at the gracefulness of it compared to mine.
"You're talented", I compliment and I pick of one of the sparring swords near by. "Do you want to duel"
Her eyes light up in excitement and we play with the swords and I can tell that when she grows up she will be amazing with a sword. She already is. It ends with me disarming her and we laugh.
"I'm sure one day once your a little stronger you'll be able to disarm even the most pompous knights", I assure her "You can look forward to seeing the shock on their facing at being disarmed by a girl, oh how embarrassed they'll be"
She laughs with me and I do what Jon and Robb always did and mess up her hair and she hits my wrist not so playfully then she looks at me sadly.
"Is it true you are going to live in Highgarden?" she asks "Do you really love Loras"
This may be the last time I speak with my sister, I want to be honest "No I don't, I don't love him and I won't marry him"
"But father-"
"Father can't know this but-" I begin as I take her hands and lower my voice to a whisper "I'm not marrying Loras, I won't go to live in Highgarden"
"So you'll stay here?" She asks with excitement and my heart aches. I don't want to leave her but if I don't elope with Jaime I'd have to leave her to go to Highgarden. Either way I'll have to leave.
"I can't stay here, Father will be very angry with me and so will the Queen"
She looks confused as she asks "Why will the Queen be angry"
"It doesn't matter but she won't be happy"
"Are you going to go home?" She asks and I realise that I may never see Winterfell again, I might not see Jon or Robb or mother or the boys. Mother hasn't been to Riverrun in years since she married my father and I knew that if I married a southern man I might only be able to visit the North every few years. If I'm the Lady Of Casterly Rock I still might not see my home again, I pray I will but I need to be realistic.
"No, I'm not going home", I tell her "I'm going to my new home, with the man I'm going to marry"
"Who?" She gapes.
"Jaime Lannister"
She scrunches up her face and I can see she's about as happy as father was "But he's old"
"He's not that old and he is a good man Arya, he loves me and I love him", I smile "Loras doesn't love me, he loves someone else and I would never be truly happy in Highgarden"
"So you'll be the Lady Of Casterly Rock?" She asks
"Yes", I smile "Father won't be happy that I'm not marrying Loras so I don't know when I'll be able to see you again"
"I'll ride all the way to Casterly Rock to see you if I have to, and then all the way North to see Robb and Jon", she decides and I know that she would.
"I love you Arya"
"I love you too" she says with tears in her eyes and I embrace her
"Please don't tell Father about any of this"
"I won't, I promise he will never know"