Always

five

LUNA

"Hello?"

The sound of Kyler's voice filled me with a warm feeling from head to toe. It was soft yet gruff, tired yet beautiful, and I felt like I couldn't get enough of it.

Seeing his name flash across my screen took me completely by surprise. I didn't expect him to be awake at this time, when the clock was just about to strike two in the morning.

I'd been thinking about him all afternoon and even now, as I laid in bed, the image of his soft smile and dark, ocean-like blue eyes was shackled to the insides of my eyelids. It was impossible to get him out of my head.

One word. One word was all he said. It was enough to make me want to listen to his voice forever. He sounded unsure yet calm, as if he hadn't expected me to pick up but didn't mind that I did.

"Hey." I whispered back, a small smile tickling my lips. I turned to my side, tucking a hand under my cheek.

"I didn't expect you to pick up." He spoke, confirming my thoughts. His voice was just as low as mine and somehow the light whispers we passed to each other seemed fitting at this hour.

"I didn't expect you to call." I said truthfully. I paused, contemplating whether or not I should say it. I bit the inside of my cheek and gave in. "But I'm glad you did."

"Why are you awake?" He asked softly, almost cautiously, as if he wasn't sure whether it was the right question to ask. But right now, in the dead of the night, anything and everything seemed sensible and important and just right. It always did when it felt like the whole world was asleep and you were the only one awake, counting stars and listing scars.

"Why are you?" I retorted, my smile widening slightly when I heard him let out a soft, deep chuckle.

I loved laughter, that was something I had known ever since I was a kid. But right in that moment, I instantly knew that I had changed my mind. I no longer liked laughter, not unless it was his.

"I can't sleep." He whispered, the exhaustion and softness in his voice intensifying. It made my chest hurt. It made me want to comfort him, tell him that everything will be alright, that he would be alright.

And I didn't understand why.

I didn't understand why I felt like protecting this boy from the demons I knew all too well, from the terrors the universe brought just as the sun went down and darkness enveloped each and every corner. I didn't understand why my heart ached for a boy I hardly knew.

"I can't either." I replied, telling him only the half truth.

It wasn't like sleep refused to come and my heavy eyelids and burning eyes were a clear indication of that. I just didn't want to be greeting sleep with open arms. It wasn't something I wanted. Because sometimes, staying awake was better than having to face the demons that came with every closed eyelid.

"I don't like sleeping." I mumbled slowly, almost uncertainly, as I tried to figure out why I was telling him this.

"I love it." He replied, and I heard him moving around between the sheets slightly. He was in bed. "When it comes." He added after a slight pause and I could hear the frown in his voice.

"How old are you?" I whispered gently after a few seconds of silence, because I wanted to know. I knew we were the same age, seeing as we were in the same grade, but I wanted to hear it from him.

"Seventeen." That was too young, way too young. Yet the undertones of pain and exhaustion in his voice made him sound so much older than his age.

The universe was a cruel thing. It never waited to give or take, whether it be pain or pleasure. It was never considerate, it never cared. I never thought about this before but now, hearing this boy's voice over the phone and taking in how he sounded so much like the universe had beaten him and thrown him around multiple times, and it still hadn't had enough, I hated it with all of my being.

He didn't deserve this. I knew, even though I barely knew him, that he didn't deserve this. No one did.

"You?" It took me a good minute to focus back on his voice and remember what we were talking about.

"Sixteen and four months." That caused him to laugh again and I smiled at the sound of his vocals filling my ears.

"That's really specific." He whispered. I chuckled softly at that, turning to my side to face the window. Outside, everything was pitch black, other than the small beam of light coming from the window opposite to mine, the same one which belonged to Kyler's house.

"I miss you." His voice was softer than ever, almost confused. And I understood.

"I miss you too." I replied without a second of hesitation. Because I did miss him. I missed the sight of his smile, the way his hair fell into his eyes no matter how many times he pushed them back, his dark blue eyes which were the most gorgeous things I had ever seen. I missed him.

He was the first person here who didn't seem to overwhelm me and push me and make me yank my hair out. He was the first person here who I wouldn't mind calling a...friend.

I could hear the sound of his breathing as we both fell into a soft silence, one which didn't feel like it needed to be filled with mere, useless words.

"How are you related to the Hudsons?"

I winced at the question. "I'm...not."

"Oh." He sounded confused and I sighed.

"I'm adopted." That was all the elaboration I gave, but he didn't seem to want more. I silently thanked the universe for that.

"Are you in your room?" He quickly changed topics, probably sensing my discomfort. I heard him move around slightly, followed by the sound of light, muffled footsteps.

"Yeah?" It came out more like a question.

"Come to the window." I frowned, but didn't question it further as I slowly climbed out of bed, moving barefoot to the window.

I pushed back the curtains. And blinked.

"Hey." Kyler grinned at me from the window opposite to mine, his phone clutched to his ear.

My lips parted.

His eyes shone--dark blue. I smiled. His dark, messy hair was even messier now and I had the strong feeling that he had been tossing and turning long before he had rung me up.

"Hey." I replied, my smile widening.

It was an odd coincidence--not only being neighbours but also having adjoined windows. Just a step away from each other.

I studied his face, feeling my shoulders relax as I took in the rawness of it all. Everything about him was so refreshingly real. From the light scar trailing down the back of his left hand to the dark bags under his eyes. He was the first person out of today who felt...real.

"Are you tired?" I found myself asking. I watched as his shoulders sagged and he let out a breath.

"Exhausted." He mumbled.

"Go to sleep, Kyler."

"I don't want to be alone." His eyebrows drew together, as if he didn't understand what he was feeling. I could sympathise.

"I'm here." Lifting my hand, I gently pressed against the glass of the window, trying my best not to wince as the coldness shot up my arm.

I didn't want to be alone either. And with Kyler on the phone with me, it helped me fill that emptiness around me. The world didn't seem so dark, the demons not so scary, and the fight didn't seem too hard right about now.

Even though I knew it was the hardest battle to win.