Always

forty-five

L U N A
"If all it is is eight letters
why am I in my own way?"

Today was the day.

With shaking hands, I smoothed the dress out as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror. I reached up to twist a loose curl one final time before taking a deep breath and walking back into my room where Leo was sprawled on my bed, phone held in front of his face.

Today was the day Leo and I would go to the cafe and meet him. Today I would have to meet the man who left my life all those years ago and never even showed his face up until now. Today I would get all the answers I wanted and needed. Today I would have to meet the man who I'm supposed to consider my father for the first time in all of my seventeen years on this planet.

Hearing me walk in, he looked up from the screen and his previously calm expression turned into a worried one as he looked me over. He stood up from the bed, pocketing his phone before giving me his classic, toothy grin.

"You look beautiful." That caused a small smile to appear on my face but it dropped as soon as it came.

Leo must have noticed the anxiousness on my expression because his own smile faltered ever so slightly. "Ready?"

Was I ready? Was I ready to see him? To talk to him? My palms were sweaty and my wrists were itching. My stomach was knotted tightly and my legs felt like they wouldn't be able to support me anymore. My head felt fuzzy and clouded, and instead of panic, no other emotion surfaced in me.

It's been seventeen years. He never showed up in seventeen years. Why? Why did he leave in the first place? Did he love mom? Did he love me? Is he better?

I needed answer. Answers which no one but him could give me.

"Yeah." I breathed, giving Leo another smile. "Yeah, I-I just need a minute."

Nodding, Leo flashed me an encouraging smile before walking out the room, and as soon as I heard the light thud of the door shutting, my knees gave out on me and I sank to the bed. My head dropped into my hands and I felt a sob bubbling up my throat and tears prickling my eyes but I pushed them away, not wanting to cry. Straightening up, I brushed my hair away from my face and blinked, trying hard not to let my emotions get to me right now.

But when I looked up, my eyes locked with the window and I felt something in me break.

I love you.

He loves me. Kyler Anderson, the boy who still means the whole entire world to me, loves me. He loves me. He's in love with me.

And he told me yesterday. And hearing those eight letters was quite possibly the most lovely yet crushing thing ever.

He loves me. Despite everything I have gone through and everything I put him through, he loves me. And that was the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt. Because somehow, being with him made me feel so loved and lovable in the time I spent with him. Being with him, I felt like the most beautiful and important girl in the world. Being with him made me feel like everything I was ever looking for was right there in front of me.

Because deep down, no matter how much I convinced myself that I wasn't, I still could't deny the truth about how madly in love I was with Kyler Anderson.