Always

thirty-three

L U N A
"Think I'm reaching my limits, yeah.
Can I exhale for a minute?"

My eyes flew open and I gasped for air, frantically pushing myself up so I was sitting up in bed. My chest began constricting as I sat there with my hands pressed down beside me and my wide eyes staring at the wall in front of me as I tried to calm myself down after the horrible nightmare. My eyes then flickered around my room and I let out a breath of relief, knowing that I was still here in my new house and my head dropped into my hands as I tried to hold back my sobs.

This was the first nightmare I've had ever since I moved here to New York. God, it didn't even feel like a dream. Maybe it was my feverish state, or maybe it was the medications but it felt as if I was reliving every second of what had happened about two years ago.

I felt like crying and screaming all at once but I did neither as I lifted my head again, taking a shaky breath as I looked around the room and I frowned when my eyes fell on the spot next to me on my bed, the sheets wrinkled as if someone had slept there.

That's when I remembered what had happened last night and my heart fell.

Did he leave?

I wasn't lying when I said I didn't want to be alone. Because I truly hated the loneliness of the house while Jane and Andrew were gone for a business trip and Tanner was staying over at his friend's house. I was beginning to detest the quietness of the house and how it left me alone with my thoughts; how it left me alone with myself.

Inhaling shakily, I quickly swung my legs off the bed and, ignoring the horrible ache in my body, made my way out of my room. I frowned when I heard shuffling from the kitchen and slowly walked over, not knowing who to expect standing behind the door.

He must have heard me coming down the stairs because the second I entered the kitchen, Kyler turned around, greeting me with a warm smile. My chest flooded with relief when I saw him but I still couldn't push away the burning ache in my heart. The kitchen smelled of fresh breakfast and it instantly made my stomach churn and I felt like throwing up. He must have noticed the frown dominating my face because in seconds, his smile dropped and was replaced by a worried expression as he quickly walked over to me, his hands reaching up to cup my face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked, his eyes searching my face in worry. I was too tired and upset to process what was coming out of my mouth at the moment and my voice sounded awfully vulnerable as I spoke.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" A frown appeared on Kyler's face.

"You needed to rest and I didn't want to disturb your sleep." He spoke, his voice low and soft. "Why? Are you okay? Did something happen-"

I quickly cut him off. "No, I just-I thought you left or something."

I didn't want him prying about what had just happened because I was in a feverish, vulnerable state and the last thing I wanted to do was blurt out something that I'd instantly regret telling him.

His expression softened and he pulled me into his arms, wrapping his arms around me tightly and I did the same. Standing there in his embrace made me momentarily forget all about the doubts I had regarding this relationship because in that moment, I felt so so safe and wanted.