Always

twenty-seven

L U N A

You know that feeling where it's as if you're waiting? But you have no idea what you're waiting for. And the entire time you're incredibly restless and jumpy and you just want something to happen?

That's exactly how I was feeling.

I brought my knees up to my chest and inhaled shakily. I shifted, trying to get rid of the very uncomfortable feeling which overlapped me. I eyed the clock on my bedside table and sighed when I noticed that it was almost time for the sun to start setting.

Nights had slowly shifted from being my favourite time to the hours that I despised most. Not only because they were much darker and colder, even though January was coming to an end slowly but also because those were the hours where I was completely alone with my thoughts.

With nothing to do and nowhere to go during those gloomy hours, I was left alone laying in bed with that horrible train of thoughts going through my head, preventing me from closing my eyes.

There was a knock on the door and I peeled my eyes away from the clock. The door opened slightly and a smiling Jane entered my room.

"Hey." I gave her a small smile. "I was just about to head out for some work that came up and wanted to check if you needed me to grab anything for you on my way back?"

I looked around my room for a minute before shaking my head. Jane tilted her head to the side slightly, studying my quiet state for a minute.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her eyes softening with worry as she looked at me.

I blinked, slightly taken aback by the question. I wasn't really expecting anyone to notice my drained state and for a second, I almost cracked. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know what was going on in my mind and in my life and how I felt almost all the time. I wanted to tell her about everything; about how miserable and trapped I've been feeling lately and how much I've been hurting myself. I wanted to tell her.

But I didn't.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and forced myself to give her a small smile, nodding. "Yeah, just a little tired."

She didn't seem convinced and a frown formed on her face. "Are you sure? I can stay home if you want, you know. Tanner and Andrews won't be home till late and I don't want you to be alone if you're not okay-"

"Jane." I cut her off. "I'm fine, really. And I'll be perfectly okay on my own."

She nodded slowly, before giving me a smile and making her way out of my room, leaving me in the silence once again.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair before grabbing my phone from beside me and clicking it open. I went to my contacts and quickly found his number. My finger hovered over the call button for a little too long as I had a mental debate whether or not I should call him.

Deciding against it, I shut off my phone and placed it on the bed beside me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, laying back down on the bed. I tried to take a minute to calm my heart which I didn't realise was racing but it was impossible to do so in my restless state.

A loud buzzing sound interrupted that moment of silence and I grabbed my phone, clicking it open to see a message which made my heart drop.

Get ready, loser. I'm taking you out for dinner.

I was about to respond to Kyler by making up an excuse when another message popped up.

No excuses. I'll be over in about twenty minutes and I'll drag you out of the house if I have to.