Always

six

KYLER

The universe was a weird thing, with its ups and downs, highs and lows. It was confusing and wrecking, sometimes leaving you--a complete mess--behind while it kept moving on.

Some days the world moved too fast, burned too bright for me. There would be days where I would try to run and catch up with it, stumbling and tripping while I did so, even when I knew I would fail miserably. And then there were days where I would give up even before I started, simply too tired to put in the effort to even try to catch up with the universe which never stopped. Not for me, not for anyone.

But that day when I met Luna in the music room, my whole world felt like it had slowed to a stop. And in that moment, there was no race I had to win, no fight I had to fight.

There just was.

Me, her, and a world that just was. A calm, resting world which didn't demand any battles, any pain to be felt, anything.

It was something completely foreign, something I wasn't used to at all. I was used to being beaten by the universe and tossed out, not warmly accepted and welcomed in a place where I least expected it, in a person where I least expected it.

I barely knew her. But I knew I liked her. I liked her soul. It was warm, calming and so damn beautiful. It was something new, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't seem to be running away from it. Instead I wouldn't mind getting used to it, greeting it with open arms.

There were no expectations around her, I realised. She was the first person to not throw me in a box and instead allowed me the space to just...be. Be who I was. Be whoever I wanted to be.

My eyes lingered on my phone for a few seconds as I grabbed my stuff, fingers itching to check and see if she had sent a message after I had fallen asleep.

I had fallen asleep. For the first time in days, I had gotten more than fifty minutes of sleep. And, I realised with a weird feeling in my stomach, that it was because of her.

She had stayed on call the entire time I was asleep, ending it only minutes before I was supposed to wake up. The simple thought of it made me feel warm.

I pulled on my sweater, ruffling my hair back into place as I rushed down the stairs.

What was she doing right now?

"Kyler, hurry up! You're going to be late." I heard Mom's voice call from the kitchen, knowing she said something but my brain refused to process it.

Was she going to be in school again?

"Kyler!"

"Yes?" I looked up, trying to bury my irritation but it was far too early for this. Mom stood by the stove, scowling at me with her hands at her hips.

"Hurry up and sit down, will you? The breakfast's getting cold and you're getting late." I opened my mouth, ready to tell her I wasn't hungry but the stern look on her face made me shut up. She was pissed already, and my defiance would only make it worse.

I slid into the chair, my gaze sliding up to the kitchen window as I dug into the food. And thought of another window in this house.

I had seen her through the window before. I didn't mean to, but her curtains were pulled aside slightly and I simply couldn't help it. Not after the look she had given me at the cafe. Or the one she passed when she first saw me.

She was sitting on her bed then, studying a bunch of loose sheets. She wore a pair of glasses and despite myself, I laughed. She didn't wear them often, I noticed. Only when she worked, perhaps. But it was absolutely adorable regardless. She had looked so focussed, so unaware of anything around her. There was a light furrow in her brows and she kept tugging at the strand of hair which fell around her face.

I had realised how I was gawking. And closed the damn curtains immediately. I didn't dare open them again the entire night. Or the next day. Because I knew that if I did, I wouldn't stop looking.

"Dear God, what has gotten into you?" My eyes snapped up and I blew out a breath, seeing Mom's frustrated gaze on me.

"I'm sorry. I just-"

"This is exactly why I tell you to go to bed early. But you never listen, do you? Now look at you, you can't even focus on your breakfast." She said.

I doubled back. Her words were like a slap to the face. She knew about the insomnia. Knew about the damn anxiety. Yet she couldn't care to pay attention to it--to me. She blamed me for it, as if it was in my control.

I wasn't in the damn headspace to argue with her anymore. I pushed my chair back and got up, ignoring her neverending jabs as I grabbed my bag and keys and headed out the door.

***

I arrived earlier than I was supposed to and simply sat in my seat with my head resting against the table, just basking in the quiet.

I let out an irritated sigh when I heard the chatter of students closing in and as I looked up, I noticed them flooding into the classroom. I hid my frown as I massaged my temples, pushed back my hair and dropped my head again.

But right before I closed my eyes, a blur of yellow fell in my line of sight and my head shot up.

She was in my damn Literature class.

I frowned for a moment. She wore a sweater the colour of sunshine. Her hair was tied back into a bun at her nape, but pieces fell out to frame her face. She no longer wore her glasses but I noticed them folded in the breast-pocket of her sweater.

She looked around, and a frown marred her brow as she realized the only free seats were at the front. I clamped my lips shut in an attempt to hold my chuckle. It was so damn adorable.

I opened my mouth, ready to call her over in hopes that she wouldn't mind taking the seat next to me but before I could, someone slammed a bag on said seat, dropping down right after.

"What are you laughing about?"Aiden barely looked up from his phone, texting rapidly.

"Your face, that's what."

"I know, it's gorgeous." I turned away from him, my eyes finding Luna again. She had finally given up and was setting her books down onto one of the front seats. I felt a flicker of disappointment that she wasn't sitting next to me.

"She's cute." Aiden interrupted my thoughts again and I turned to nod at him as he placed his phone in his back pocket. I leaned back in my seat, turning to look at her again.

"She's new." And then my voice softened slightly. "She lives next door."

"You like her." It wasn't a question. I frowned, still not removing my gaze from her.

I shrugged. "She's really nice to talk to." She was more than nice to talk to. She was...

Aiden opened his mouth, a stupid smirk on his face. He was going to push me further and I knew it. But before he could, silence fell around the room and the teacher stepped into the room, asking us to pull out our books.

And as the rest of the class got to reading about the new poem we were discussing, my eyes couldn't help but keep dragging back to the girl just a few seats away.