Always

fifteen

L U N A

"Hope if everybody runs
You choose to stay."

Thursday 10:05 pm.

I ran a hand over the fabric of the dress I had just bought. Amity basically dragged me to the store with her so we could both get ourselves a dress for the dance which was tomorrow night.

I looked out my window to see his room blanketed in darkness and ran a hand through my hair. I fought the urge to pick up my phone and text him. He's sleeping.

I moved towards my bed and picked up my laptop. I bit my lip as I tried to focus on the screen which was unusually bright, even when I brought the brightness down. I skimmed through at least ten articles but none of them made sense.

I groaned and shut my laptop. Instead, I grabbed a book from my nightstand. I flipped from page to page and tried to make out each word written on the page but it was of no use. Everything I read jumbled up together and turned into gibberish.

I closed the book and got up from my bed. I picked up my phone and turned on the music, playing a random song. I leaned my back against the wall and closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

It's okay.

I made out a few lyrics from the song I was listening to. It was the same one that was playing in Kyler's room the other day when he saw my bare arms.

I hugged myself tightly and started pacing around the room.

It's okay. You're okay.

I looked around my room and my eyes fell on the notepad sitting on my desk. Quickly grabbing a pen, I sat down on the chair and flipped the notebook to a fresh page and started writing.

Uriah Samuel (that's what I think his name is) was the last person
to get murdered. Some even say that this wasn't one of those
murders, but a suicide attempt. They think he shot himself with
one of his father's gun. But I don't think he would do that.
I mean, who would choose such a painful way out. There
are so many less painful ways such as

I stopped. My eyes scanned over what I had just written. I ripped the page from the book and crumpled it before throwing it in the dustbin.

You're okay.

I got up from my chair and walked over to the door and quietly opened it. I looked around and was relieved that no one was awake. Trying my best to be quiet, I walked down the stairs and out the door. I stepped into the cold streets and started walking in a random direction.

Then I was running. The cold air hit my face as I ran down the streets, wearing the same grey sweater and black jeans and boots I wore when I went out with Amity. My hair flew behind me as I continued to run in that random direction with no destination in mind.

You're okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

There was this weird fold in time and I was no longer running but standing on top of this rooftop. The rooftop. 

I was panting. It felt as if my lungs were on my fire and my throat was parched but in this moment I didn't care. I walked over to the ledge and looked around at the town.

Everything was so quiet and peaceful.

Too quiet and peaceful.

Before I could comprehend what I was doing, I stood on the ledge. The cold, winter breeze hit my body but I didn't care.

You're okay.

I stood there for five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Then I got off and back on the rooftop.

I walked back from the ledge and sat down on the hard ground. I heard something buzz and realised that it was my phone ringing. I didn't remember taking it out or accepting the call or even bringing the phone up to my ear.

"Luna?"

"Hey."

"Where are you?" His voice was husky and I could sense the tiredness in it.

"Somewhere. Why do you ask?" For a second there was no response.

"The curtains were open and you're not in your room." Kyler paused. "Where are you?"

I got up from the ground and looked around. "I'm on my way back."

With that, I ended the call and started descending down the stairs. I walked all the way back home because I had worn myself out.

As I walked, I thought. Of anything and everything.

You are okay.

In the process of thinking, my thoughts shifted to what I wrote a few minutes ago in my room.

Why did I write that?

I had reached my house and started walking towards the door and quietly opened it.
(Why did I run?)

I made my way up the stairs and into my room before closing the door behind me and flopping down on the bed.
(Why did I go to the rooftop?)

Why am I feeling like this?

My phone lit up and I picked it up, seeing a message from Kyler.

Are you okay?
Yes. I replied and quickly sent another text. Just tired. I think I'm going to sleep now.
Okay. He answered.

I was about to put my phone away when I got another message.

I'm always here if you need me, you know. I smiled. It was very random but it made me feel better nonetheless.
Always? He didn't reply for a while. The three dots appeared but disappeared a few times. I bit my lip as I waited for him to answer.
Always.

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What did you guys think of this chapter?
I personally thought this was very hard to write but I did it!