Plain sight

Vulnerable

A WEEK LATER

I took my seat in class, sighed, and stared at the front of the classroom. My heart ached in all types of ways and I felt nothing for anyone. My face was expressionless and my eyes were red and puffy from previously crying. I felt a hand rub my back and slightly turned my head towards her. She stopped and just stared at me with a face full of sincerity. That triggered a silent tear to fall from my eye but I quickly wiped it away not wanting her to see me cry. Arianna insisted that I moved in with her and her family so that's exactly what I did. I had considered going back to a Foster Home but that would just cause more damage. Waiting for a long period of time for someone to come and adopt a 17 year old just seemed unrealistic. Plus, starting over with someone new wouldn't feel right after I'd spent so much time with Mariah. I would be lying if I said her death wasn't my fault. I felt completely responsible for my mother dying. If I hadn't agreed to go to that sleepover, she would still be alive. The more and more I went deeper into my feelings, the more I would blame myself for the incident. I didn't notice that tears were running down my face but I couldn't help it. I just sat there waiting for class to start as tears raced down my face.
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After my last class I quickly collected my belongings and started out the door.

"Mya, you have to try not to focus on it so much." I heard Arianna say.

"It's all my fault." I sighed.

"It is not."

"Yes it is! If I hadn't agreed to sleepover, if I had just went home like I was suppose to do, my mother wouldn't be in a coffin, buried six feet under right now!" I yelled at her getting worked up.

"Babe, calm down. Bad things in life are going to happen. When they do, you can't blame yourself for being the reason that I happened. Just think about it, even if you were home, do you think you could have prevented the incident? Wouldn't the killer just get you too? There was absolutely nothing you could do to spare your mother's life. Even if you were there. Don't throw yourself under the bus for something you couldn't prevent. That only makes matters worse." I sighed because I knew she was stating nothing but facts. Even if I was there, could I have saved her?

"I guess." Was all I could muster out. As the rest of the students were rushing out of the building I took a seat on one of the many benches placed around the perimeter of the school.

"I just- you think I should go back to a Foster Home?" I asked Arianna.

"What's wrong with living with me?" She questioned.

"Nothing, I just don't want to be a burden." I sighed.

"Your not a burden. I enjoy your company, and no one minds you staying with us for a few years." Arianna said. I just sat there in silence. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a tight hug.

"I'm here for you. I know it's hard, but we'll get through it together. I never lost my mom, but I can only imagine how hard it is to lose someone who gave birth to you and raised you." She gently spoke. I only shook my head remembering that I never told her that I was adopted.

"She wasn't my biological mother. She adopted me when I was eight. Of course I knew that my real mother gave me away, but I never wanted to focus on that aspect of my life because I knew it would make me feel some type of way. When Mariah, my mom, adopted me, I was too happy to even think about my real mom. I was just glad that someone wanted me. I took her last name and from there, we've been like mother and daughter ever since." I stated. Arianna just stayed silent for a few minutes.