SyntheticHeart's Poems and Songs

Body (Song)

As the air is being ripped from my body

And the sound of metal echoes around me

I struggle to grasp what has happened.

I try to move but realize that I'm imprisioned

As the only command my body is obeying

Came out as a strange, panicked groaning.

A sharp pain shoots straight up my spine

As fear and confusion cloud over my mind

My figure twitching as I lay limp in my seat.

Breathe. Move. Speak. Simple enough, right?

Yet my form only spasms and trembles

Voices coming close, speaking in mumbles

I can't wait to get back on my feet

I want these damn stitches out of me

I want to be back in the driver's seat

I know anyone in my shoes would agree

I hate my body, oh, I hate my body!

A part of me understands what they say

But consciousness is spend mostly

On moving my body in sync somehow

A few hours pass, I'm in a hospital now

Lifting my hands up as machines whirr

I want to scream, my vision begins to blur

I'm tightly gripping the steel bar above me

My muscles starting to give in below me

Returning to a warm bed just in time

Pain leaving minutes feeling like a lifetime

Before the results finally are announced

And I find myself dumbstruck in a trance

I can't wait to get back on my feet

I want these damn stitches out of me

I want to be back in the driver's seat

I know anyone in my shoes would agree

I hate my body, oh, I hate my body!

Thinking... Well shit, I really am broken

If only I could hold on to that adrenaline...

Casual conversation may keep me at bay

But my body is never going to be the same

On a backboard, into the ambulance

Closing my eyes as I listen to the sirens

Clothes cut off my body, so many questions

All answered in my weak little mutters

As tall forms crowd around my naked body

With a pained sigh, I let go of my dignity

Because what else do I have left to lose?

Life's now just reckless rebellion I suppose.

I can't wait to get back on my feet

I want these damn stitches out of me

I want to be back in the driver's seat

I know anyone in my shoes would agree

I hate my body, oh, I hate my body!

Bam, snap, there goes my hope

Just when I had found the best way to cope

I'm somehow at rock bottom again

Looking to the sky pleading "I'm only human"

Then to my family screaming "It's my fault"

I was the one who abandoned the asphalt

Who ran away from the troubles in this city

Only to fear I'll never run again in this body

Trying to draw with these shaking hands

But my body won't obey my commands

I want to at least be in the workplace again

This cast ain't meant for a businesswoman

I can't wait to get back on my feet

I want these damn stitches out of me

I want to be back in the driver's seat

I know anyone in my shoes would agree

I hate my body, oh, I hate my body!

Now three months feels like a lifetime

Don't expect these bills to be paid on time

When the only thing keeping me on my feet

Is painkillers and the walker beside me

I am practically begging my therapist now

"I want to draw, I need to work somehow!"

My hand trembles through every stroke

I'm still struggling with every keystroke

"When one door closes another opens"

They say, but I see no proof to these claims

That open door just seems so far away

As I sit crippled in an empty cafe

I can't wait to get back on my feet

I want these damn stitches out of me

I want to be back in the driver's seat

I know anyone in my shoes would agree

I hate my body, oh, I hate my body!

I hate my body, oh, wouldn't you?

I hate my body, oh, I hate my body!