❥ tordtom oneshots《

Merry Fucking Christmas

Warning!! Uncensored profanity!

Genre; Fluff

Word count; 881

----------------------

Tis the season, as they say. Ah yes, Christmas.

Cold and crisp snowflakes littered the streets of London. Christmas carols were heard on every street corner, and not to mention gifts and toys galor. Christmas, a holiday everyone could enjoy. Well, not everyone.

"Please? Just come out and open your gifts," a Norwegian accent whined. A short and skinny Brit groaned in annoyance, soon lifting his arms up in surrender. The red clad grinned, pulling the blanket burrito out of the safety of their shared room, down the stairs, and up to the Christmas tree where both neat and messy wrapped gifts were hiding under.

"Tom! You actually came down stai- oh Tord dragged you. Thanks by the way, Tord. He wouldn't listen to any of us," Edd grinned, sipping out of his large coffee mug that for once was filled with actual coffee instead of Cola.

Tom grumbled incoherent swears, his voids squinted due to the blinding brightness of the Christmas tree's lights. (169 words at lights uwu kinky bastar- okay i'll stop lmao) Tord wrapped an arm around his boyfriend's shoulder, pressing his chapped lips against Tom's temple. Tom sighed in contempt, leaning into his happy-trigger boyfriend's addicting touch.

"Gay," Edd said through fake coughs, smirking at Tord. Tom didn't seem fazed, he continued to glare at the Christmas tree just like how he used to glare at Tord before they confessed to each other and started dating. Tord glared at Edd before an idea popped into his head.

"Matt," he called for the narcissist. Edd gave the ' what are you planning?' face. Tord just shrugged. Matt came running in the room.

"Yeah Todd?"

"It's Tord," he started then pushed Edd and Matt right in the middle of the entrance to the kitchen, "and look up." Edd slowly and cautiously looked above himself, Matt doing the same. Edd's face flushed red and Matt's cheeks dusted a dark pink. Matt, being dumb, just shrugged and pulled Edd down to his level. He pecked Edd's lips, walking off right after. Edd was shocked, not to mention head over heels. He stood there for a few minutes, feeling his lips with his hands. Matt's moisturized lips were sticky due to his lip gloss and they tasted like cherries. Tord snorted and bursted out laughing, Tom joining him. Edd turned to face them, blushing more when he saw that Tom was recording the entire time with his phone. Edd groaned, muttering under his breath.

"You are so lucky that went well, you communist cluck," Edd hissed. Tord shrugged, a shit eating grin plastered on his damned face.

·time skipu·

There sat the four manchildren next to the tree, ready for gift unboxing and opening. Matt got eveyone photos of himself (everyone except Edd through his away because he's just such a creep), most of them got Tom Smirnoff, Tord got a ton of hentai and guns, and Edd got a lifetime supply of Cola, sweaters for Ringo, and sketchbooks. Tord said that Tom's gift from him was in their room so the couple left Edd and Matt to fend for themselves. When Tom opened the huge and cutely wrapped box that Tord revealed to him, he was surprised at how much stuff was in there but not surprised at what a lot of it was.

Tord got him a pair of new navy checkered authentic Vans. He also got him a lot of blue or checkered hoodies, most of them being cropped. Tord thought it'd look amazing on Tom ( ;) ). There were bottles of expensive vodka. Tord's favorite part was at the bottom.

"Why am I not surprised, you horny bastard," Tom sighed. What was at the bottom? Well, there were some anime school girl cosplays, quite the amount of panties, and a lot of other sexual items. Tom sighed a thank you for everything, even the PG objects! Tom and Tord shared a blissful, passionate, and clean kiss before going back down stairs for some 'family time'.

·another time skipu·

9 PM. Tom went inside to 'go to the restroom' while the other three sat outside and had a late night barbeque. Tom, being tiny but mighty, dragged the Christmas tree with a lot of struggle but still succeeded. He took the tree quite far away and admired it. The trio suddenly took a walk to look for Tom, and found him a ways down the street. They were shocked to see Tom staring at the tree in awe. They all smiled.

Tom then got up, grabbing a container of gasoline.

"Tom, don't you do what I think you're going to do," Edd said sternly. The smile on Tom's face seemed to never fade.

tOM THEN POURED THE GASOLINE ALL OVER THE DAMN TREE AND LIT IT ON FIRE FASTER THEN FUCKING SONIC. MATT RAN AROUND SCREAMING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL WHEN HIS SANTA HAT SET ON FIRE. TORD DRAGGED TOM AWAY FROM THE BURNING TREE, EDD PATTING OUT THE FIRE ON MATT'S HAT.

"MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS," TOM SCREAMED AT THE TOP OF HIS FUCKING LUNGS. THE FIRE WAS SOON PUT OUT BY THE FUCKUNG POPO AND FIREFIGHTERS. THEY NEVER SPOKE OF WHAT TOM DID IN PUBLIC OR ELSE TOM WOULD BE ARRESTED AND DEPRESSO AND DIE IN JAIL HAHA OLD MAN,,

-------------------

HAHAHA, I REGRET NOTHING. GET FOOLED!

YEUAJDISMOFMAODKOW

Question, Summer or Winter?