I FEEL YOU || Sᴛᴇᴠᴇ Rᴏɢᴇʀꜱ

eight

Memories And Pain

"This is the necklace that helped us remember who we are in the tough times with Hydra. He has his own." I nodded towards Bucky who pulled his from underneath his shirt "They both have one angel wing and a used bullet. He bought the necklaces while he was on an undercover mission in Hungary. The bullets we put on ourselves, actually. Not immediately, but as time passed, we saved each others lives a few times. The bullet on his necklace" I continued pointing at it "was once in my leg when I jumped in front of him as he was lying unconscious on the floor. Saved his life. The one on mine, on the other hand, was in his abdomen as he saved my life on one occasion. They were both first of many." I smiled at Buck "However long we were controlled for, nothing could stand between us and our instincts to protect one another. I guess I owe him my life."

"And I owe you mine, don't forget that." Bucky said patting me on my back.

"Wow" Clint reacted first "I didn't expect such a-- murder-ly story."

"It's cute tho." Nat followed.

"It makes sense why it means so much. But why didn't you have it with you?" Tony asked, determined to keep me talking.

"When she was called on a long-time mission alone for the first time ever" Bucky answered "she gave me her necklace so I wouldn't forget about her. I never would've. But we didn't count on that she wouldn't come back from that mission. I've kept it by my side since then." he smiled.

I smiled back, sadly, but lovingly, I would like to say. He was the bestest friend someone could ask for. I don't know if I would mentally survive being a Hydra soldier for all those years if it wasn't for Bucky. He was like an angel saviour for me. It still feels that way.

"Wow" Clint said once again "this took a turn I couldn't have guessed, but it's an incredibly hearttouching story." he smiled.

I smiled back as Tony went on about how we should eat and not talk about necklaces and sacrifices. Even though he was one of the ones who asked about it in the first place. He did that on purpose, I knew that, he wanted me to open up, to get closer to the others too.

After the breakfast we all went our separate ways. Some to do work and some, like Steve and I, to catch up with a long-time-no-see friend.

I went to wash my face that was stained from all the happy tears from this morning. Steve and Bucky followed me close behind to my room. They waited outside the bathroom, Steve standing next to the window and Bucky sitting on my bed.

"So" I started sitting on an office chair and rolling around "how have you been?"

"I've been good. Amazing actually. It's really peaceful in Wakanda. You both should go see it, it's so beautiful. A lot of high tech but also a lot of tradition. An amazing mix. They got me a new arm, as you know." he smiled looking down at it again "Oh, they also got the thing out of my head. So I can't be activated, apparently. We didn't test it yet."

"Really?" I rised my brows "That's possible?"

"It should be." Steve joined the convo "You should do it too."

"Maybe I will."

"You should."

"I will if I want to."

"It would do you only good. It's good for safety and comfort."

"Whose safety?" I huffed.

"Everybody's." he straightened in front of me.

"Excuse me, did I do something wrong?" I fired back at him. Does he so not trust me all of a sudden? 

"No, I'm just looking out for you. It could help you." he calmed me down.

"Really, after all I've confessed to you, you still doubt me?" I stood up. My arms shaking with power.

"An, calm down. He didn't mean anything bad." Bucky stood up and put his hand on my shoulder holding me back.

"You know you are dangerous. You said it yourself. What's the problem now?" Steve asked, geniunely confused.

I looked down at my hands as Bucky tapped my forearm. The black energy fields were circling my hands fastly, like they're going crazy.

"Oh my God" I sat down looking at my hands "I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened I had control and then a voice in my head said you were, I don't know, bad and I-"

"Hey" Steve stood close to me and cupped my face with his hands "Don't worry about it. Just. Calm. Down."

I took a deep breath and sat down. Distancing myself from him.

"Are you okay?" Bucky asked.

"I don't know." I responded, still looking down at my hands.

"I'll get Stark." Steve said leaving the room.

"Wh-" and he was gone around the corner before I could ask why.

Tony came in a few minutes later after Bucky successfully calmed me down.

"Friday" he said immediately when he entered the room "I want all the scans. Blood pressure, heart rate, brain activity... Everything you can give me."

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Because Steve just told me you looked like you were possessed by something while your eyes glowed red and I can't have someone like you walking around being mind-controlled." he rambled as he looked at the numbers and graphs on a holographic projection above his watch.

"Someone like me?" I fired back.

"Yes, someone as powerful as you." Tony responded, not looking up.

"Tony" Steve pointed towards me "look at her."

"What about me!?" I fired back again, rising form the bed.

"Anastasya" Tony said with his arm out in front of him, showing me to sit down "try to calm down."

"Stop telling me to calm down I swear you are all just ugh--- Oh. My. God. I'm sorry. It happened again, didn't it?" I sat down, scared "I'm really trying to fight it, but it-it's strong and... and it really hurts."

"It's like you have two personalities." Stark said.

"What?" I sadly sighed "This was such a good day. Like, the best day ever." I said looking at Bucky "And now you tell me I'm possessed? It's my birthday, come on. Can something go right, please?"

"I'm not saying that you are possessed" Tony answered "but you might be. I'll have the scans ready in a few minutes."

"How do you feel?" Steve asked sitting down next to me on the bed.

"Weird." I responded "like I have a voice in my head that's not mine. A deep scary voice."

"A scary dude is in your head? Since when?" Tony asked.

"I don't remember. I only realized it now that you guys pointed out that something is wrong with me."

"Well that's weird but if-- are you okay?" Tony asked, seeing me hold my head in my hands as I layed back.

"Not really." I said in pain. It was like my brain was being touched and messed with. And not like Hydra did when they rebooted us or activated us. This was different.

I clenched my teeth and sat up, leaning my elbows on my legs. It hurt really bad. Like someone cut my brain in pieces with hundreds of daggers. I clenched my muscles to the point where they started hurting too. I couldn't take it anymore and I dropped on my knees.

"An?"

"Ana!?"

I heard voices call my name. I could only assume whose they were. The pain made such a noise in my head I could barely hear my thoughts. Finally, when the last atoms of strenghth had given up, I dropped on the floor, unconscious.