I FEEL YOU || Sᴛᴇᴠᴇ Rᴏɢᴇʀꜱ

forty four

The Real World

People say that the worst day of loving someone is the day you lose them. I knew it was true. The day of The Snap was probably the worst day of my life.

I wonder if Steve felt the same when I collapsed behind Tony.

I know I did, again. It seemed like he was gone only moments after he came out of that portal. And I didn't get to tell him how much he meant to me, again.

...

It was a sunny afternoon when I woke up in what looked like a hospital room.

As I opened my eyes, the only thing I felt was pain. My whole body was aching, especially my right arm and shoulder. I also felt exhausted. Like I just ran for two weeks straight exhausted.

I looked around the room. It was equipped with a whole bunch of high technology stuff. I could also tell by the machines around me that I lived through a near death experience. On the other side of the windows I could only see the sky. Probably because I was on a high floor. But it was enough, the clouds against the bluest sky I ever saw.

While I was looking through the window, I caught a glance of my left arm completely covered in bandage. I carefully tried to move my fingers, confused as to why would my metal arm be bandaged, and something did feel different.

Before I could figure out the mystery that was my bandaged arm, footsteps in front of the room caught my attention.

"Steve?" I attempted to call the person, hoping it was actually Steve, but my voice cracked. That could only mean I didn't talk for a pretty long time.

However, it was him, he did hear my call and the door soon opened. He first only popped in his, sadly beardless, head, making sure he did in fact hear me call him. His tired blue eyes immediately met mine. When he saw my eyes looking back at him, his shoulders relaxed as he sighed in relief, he smiled and entered, closing the door behind him. He sat on the chair next to my bed "You're finally awake." he said with a genuine smile and kissed my forehead.

"How long was I out for?" I asked.

He paused before answering "Two months. You actually woke up pretty early, the doctors thought it'll take longer."

"Two months?"

"Yeah, we almost lost you several times." he sighed "Without your abilities and the metal in your left arm...I don't think you would've survived that."

"Yeah, what's with that?" I motioned to my left arm, curiosity eating at me.

"Your arm wasn't amputated." he explained "It was there the whole time. It was just turned into a cyborg-arm. It kind of fell apart from the impact of the Stones. You can't go without the metal, though. You'll get a new one soon, when your wounds heal."

I stared at him in silence for a moment "That would explain why I could use my powers with my left arm too. It's still alive." I said observing my hand as I tried to move my fingers.

He nodded.

I sighed. Out of relief? Not really. But I was happy to see him. I just looked at him and smiled. The silence was nice, but I could tell he wanted to say something.

"What?" I squinted my eyes at him.

"What did you even do? To Tony." he asked "How did you know what to do?"

"I didn't." I chuckled, soon regretting it because of the pain in my chest "I improvised. I figured it can't hurt to try. Turns out it does."

"It's good to know your humor is still there." he noticed.

"But did he...?" I finally got to the big question that was the first thought I had when I opened my eyes.

"He's fine. A little burnt, but fine." Steve assured me "He actually comes here every day at around four o'clock. I bet he'll be here soon."

I sighed, now out of relief that what I did was worth it. I was so excited to see him.

"He went unconscious shortly after you." Steve continued "He did wake up the next day, unlike you. He was very worried about you. Angry too. Because you risked your life for his."

"Were you?"

"Angry? No. I was proud. Proud of the person you became. I was also scared that I would lose you again. Even though for me, the five years were like a minute of sleep." he chuckled "When I heard you had to go through five whole years helping Natasha..." he paused and it dawned on me that coming back to a world without her must've been awful for him "I was very proud. But I wished I was there with you."

I caressed his face gently, wiping away a single tear from his cheek "Did you have a funereal for her?" I asked.

"Kind of." he said "A little ceremony. Nothing big. I can take you to her grave when you get better."

"I would love that." I smiled.

He was the sweetest soul I knew, Captain America.

"I have to go get Shuri, she said we should get her first thing when you wake up." Steve broke the silence "But I'll be back soon, okay?"

"Okay." I smiled at the worry in his eyes.

He hesitated to let go of my hand as if I'd evaporate or fall back into a coma if he let go. After another kiss on the forhead, he stood up and left, but not before glancing back at me as he was about to close the door behind him, almost like he was checking if I was really there.

As he left, I smiled to myself. I felt so happy. So happy I really did make it and so so happy Steve was here when I woke up. I was also very happy I was gone for only two months.

I felt like a brand new person now. Coming back to the real world after being so long in my head felt surreal.

I wonder if all coma patients have this inner world they're in. Mine did feel full of raw power, so I assume it was also a product of my abbilities.

The only thing that really worried me was that, to me, the time I was asleep felt  much longer than two months. It felt like a lifetime. And I did feel like I lived a whole life.