Fix You || N.H. ✔️

My Insecurity

--Diamond's POV--
The view through the window makes me calm. Even though I can't hear what's happening outside I still like it. Niall is taking a nap, so I'm at my room staring through the window because I don't know what else I should do. I pushed my hearing aid a bit further from me and sat in my silence. I feel lost... I just wanna take all my stuff and run away. I hate myself. I hate myself for having feelings for the person I shouldn't. I hate myself because I push people away by not knowing, because of my biggest insecurity. And I feel bad for kissing him... I understand and see that Niall likes me and he doesn't hide but doesn't push me either. That's why I like it. I think he doesn't want anything serious because of his life. I think that's what holding him. He told me about all his life. Before x factor, during, after. Until now. He's been lonely, even though he had ladies but they don't stay for long, because no girl wants to deal with this kind of work he has. And I can see that by myself. The whole world's eyes are on you. But if he would find something meant for him, I think she can cope with it. I looked around my room... I keep forgetting that Niall is a known person. That he's rich, a lot of people knows him, he's a famous singer. But I think Niall likes that I treat him as a simple guy. I wish Jake was as simple as Niall. So generous, kind, caring, loving, listening, warm person. But all he do is hurt me and he knows that he's hurting me, but he doesn't care. I'm really thinking about breaking up. Jake doesn't even care what I'm doing all this time. I blinked feeling vibration go through the table and looked at my phone. There was a message from Jake.

Jake *I know that you're fucking some disabled dude... Shame on you... Shame... *

I blinked and shaked my head. He's always like that. Thinks I'm fucking every guy in this world but not him.

Diamond *Are you drunk? I wouldn't be surprised...*

I replied to him and quickly got some weird language back. I squinted my eyes not understanding.

Jake *You're aaaa slut! I don't understand hoow someone can fuck u. U can't even hear a shit! *

He replied. I quickly put my phone down with tears. Jake knows my weak spot and he just hit it. I let tears stream down my face looking through the window.
"Oh shit!" I gasped when I felt a touch. I turned and saw Niall with worried look.
"Hold on..." I whispered and got my hearing aid back in the ear.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I was calling you but I understood you probably didn't hear me, so I wanted to check on you. What's wrong?" Niall took my hand.
"Sorry. I was without hearing aid. Ugh... Nothing. Don't worry." I whispered wiping my tears away.
"Diamond, tell me." Niall turned my face to him. I gave him my phone to see the messages and went to wash my face.
"And you are letting him to act like this? Diamond he's a dick. You don't deserve this." I heard Niall near bathroom doors.
"Then what I deserve Niall? No guy wants some deaf girl." I said standing near the sink.
"I can give everything you want..." I heard him saying in a low voice.