A World Changing Fangirl

Chapter 29

Bucky and I have just been sitting in his room talking for the past hour. We've talked about a lot and he quite possibly could know more about me than Steve does. I learned some things about Bucky that were not mentioned in the movies.

For example, why his homecoming was so terrible when he was 17. It was very traumatic. He said that he was rejected because the girl he asked had a boyfriend, but he didn't know. He ended up getting beat up and Steve had to take care of him for a week.

It's nice to know that the little guy helped out the big guy for once.

"I have one more question to ask you," Bucky says.

"Go for it," I quickly reply.

"Steve told me that you two hated each other when you first met. Why?"

I sigh and prepare to explain my pettiness.

"Well, he broke a promise he made to you. You seemed to be okay with it and supported his decision. That was on the outside though. I could see in your eyes that you were upset with him. I totally get it too.

For years he told you that he was with you until the end of the line. Except he just up and left you. Not only that, he left you to go be with Peggy. Plus, he gave the shield to Sam. I guess that's okay though because I don't think the world forgave you from your time as the Winter Soldier. I don't think you forgave yourself.

I just hope that can change now that I changed the future. For the most part. I still haven't figured out how to stop a sociopath from destroying half the universe," I sigh.

"Well, the future sound sucky."

"It is indeed. Since you asked me a final question, I get to ask you a final question. You have to answer honestly because it's been killing me," I grinned from ear to ear.

"I already know what the question is," Bucky sighs.

"I thought you would. So, why did you get flustered when seeing me shirtless. And don't give me that surprised crap. Honesty is the key to friendship," I say and point my index finger at him.

"Look, surprised wasn't untrue. I just didn't know how to react when seeing my best friends beautiful girlfriend shirtless. And by the way, you didn't seem to care. In 1945 that would've been frowned upon. You can't just - "

"Wait, wait, wait. Back up. You think I'm beautiful?" I smile.

"Well, yeah. I'm not going to call you ugly."

"But there are other adjectives beyond the physical," I smirk and crawl over to where he is sitting on the floor.

"Okay fine! I'm attracted to you. I'm not going to pursue that attraction though because you're dating my best friend. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

I smile contently.

"Yes. Bucky Barnes, I am officially freeing you from my annoying questions and presence because I have some unpacking to do," I poke his shoulder as I get up off the ground.

"See you later, James Buchanan Barnes."

Bucky's POV

As soon as Natalie leaves the room, I groan out. I groan out of embarrassment and guilt. I'm not allowed to like Steve's girlfriend. That breaks every rule of the best friend code.

It's not like it matters anyway. I just met her. She would never go out with someone like me or even like someone like me. I have too much damage. She's a psychologist. I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to date a patient.

I can't help it though. She's just naturally beautiful. She's normal. She doesn't need to have superpowers or fighting skills. I feel like that's why I'm so drawn to her. That and her confidence.

She just came to my apartment with no worries. She doesn't seem to care what people think either. She's also incredibly funny.

I don't have a lot of interactions with women. Not since I was taken anyway. I used to be a playboy in Brooklyn, but after everything that I've been through, I don't know if I want anyone.

Natalie didn't either. She told me all about her doubts before dating Steve and I couldn't help but relate to everything she said. Not the heartbroken parts though.

She said she went through a relationship with a girl and it ended poorly. She never gained feelings for anyone again.

Natalie said that she felt her emotions were all gone. She didn't feel like she could ever love again.

She even admitted that she didn't know that she would ever love Steve. It's just something she's feeling right now and she wants to hold onto that humanity.

That's how I feel. I want to know if I can actually feel again after those years of torture. I just want one moment with her.

It could mean nothing. Part of me wants it to mean nothing just because she's with Steve. the other part is just hoping that I can still feel. I don't want to let that go.

Just one moment.

All I can do is hope she'll give it to me.

Natalie's POV

I walk into my new room to see Steve laying on the bed waiting for me.

"I didn't realize I had company," I smirk as I walk through the doorway.

"Where have you been? I have been waiting here for over an hour," Steve sat up with an 'ugh'.

"I was having a chat with someone. Sorry I'm late, soldier," I go up and wrap my arms around Steve's neck.

"You call me that a lot. Why?"

"Soldier? I don't know. It just sounds less boring. Like, Steve is such a boring name," I shrug with a laugh.

Steve rolls his eyes and leans down to kiss me. His soft lips brush over mine before officially locking together. It was short, but I love it when he kisses me.

"So, who were you chatting with?"

"My new best friend, Bucky Barnes. Speaking of, can I tell you something? You have to promise not to get mad though," I say with a slight smile.

"Okay," Steve drags out the word nervously.

"So, on the way back from Romania, Bucky may or may not have seen me shirtless."

"Is that it?" Steve asked, and I could tell he was afraid to ask.

"Well, during our chat, I kinda forced him into telling me that he was attracted to me. I don't think it's anything serious though," I explain.

Steve nods and sits back on the bed.

"It's okay. I'm not mad. I get it. He hasn't had much of a female connection with anyone. And how can anyone not be attracted to Natalie Carter?" Steve jokes.

"So, you're not at all mad at either of us?" I ask to confirm his statement.

"Nope."

"Good because for now, I'm all yours," I smirk.

"For now?" Steve asks as I pull over to lay on my bed.

"Well yeah. You and Bucky were the men of my dreams. I have a tendency to not let things go."