A World Changing Fangirl

Chapter 30

Steve and I wake up next to each other in my bed. Fully clothed for all those who want to know. I look over at him and he is currently cuddling with one of my pillows.

Cutest thing I have ever seen in my whole life.

I wanted to let him sleep because he's too cute to wake at the moment. I get up out of bed and start to unpack my things. I don't have that much stuff. I've only been living in this universe for a couple of weeks now.

I finished putting all of my makeup and hair stuff, which really isn't a lot, when Steve woke up.

"What are you doing?" Steve asks in his morning voice.

"Just unpacking," I reply.

"Would you like some help?" Steve asks as he got off the bed.

"Do you really want to help me?" I laugh.

"Yes, I will be back to help when I eat. I don't think I've eaten since yesterday morning," Steve says with a little shock in his voice.

"Alright, Captain. I'll see you in a bit," I laugh as he exits the room.

I go back to unpacking and I open up a box of my clothes. I pick it up and take it over to my dresser which was already placed in a decent spot and I didn't feel like moving it.

Same with the bed which has no bedding situated. Just two pillows and a blanket that Steve grabbed last night.

"Hey, can we talk?"

I turn towards the door and see Bucky standing there looking conflicted.

"Yeah, what's up?"

I walk over to the bed and pat a seat next to me telling him to come and sit. He walks all the way through the door and closes it behind him.

Deja Vu anyone?

"What's wrong Bucky?" I ask concerned as he walks over to me.

He sits down on the bed and looks at me in the eye.

"I hope what I said yesterday doesn't affect our friendship. It kind of freaked me out. I really like you and I think you're great and - "

"Bucky, you're such a pansy. It's fine, I promise." I reassure with a smile.

"Look, I'm not saying I'm in love with you or anything. It just felt good to be able to feel something for someone again. As you said last night, that's one of the reasons you're going out with Steve. I don't want to impose on your relationship. I just needed you to know that."

"I know and that's exactly what I told Steve," I say.

"Wait, you told Steve that I'm attracted to you?" Bucky asks starting to get nervous.

"Well yeah. I'm a very honest person," I shrug.

"What did he say?"

"He's cool with it. It doesn't bother him at all actually. He understands that you want connection," I reply.

"Exactly," Bucky says, relieved.

"Can I ask you something?" Bucky adds.

"Yeah of course," I give him a confused look.

"As my friend, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. It wouldn't mean anything. I just need to know if I can feel - "

"Bucky, get to the point."

"Can I kiss you?"

I stare at him for a moment. It takes a minute to fully comprehend what he had just asked. When I go over the question in my head about a million times, I come to a conclusion.

Would Steve care? He hasn't cared so far. It won't mean anything. This is for Bucky not hormones.

"Uh, sure."

Bucky's POV

Did she just say sure? She's letting me kiss her? I can have this moment with her?

"Wait, are you serious. You don't think Steve will get mad?" I ask.

"Well, he might get a little jealous, but I think that's okay. He can get over it. I want to help you connect with yourself," she explained.

She clearly thinks that I don't want this to have meaning. I don't, but also part of me wants her to feel something. I want to feel that kind of love again. I don't want to be her best friend forever. Maybe one day we can be more.

I don't want to get my hopes up though.

"Are you sure?"

"Bucky, just kiss me already."

You don't have to tell me twice.

I place my left hand onto her waist and I tangle my right hand in her hair. Natalie looks at me as I leaned in closer to her. She places both her hands on either side of her face.

Our nose touch and I can feel her breath on my face. My eyes flicker to her lips before she closed the gap between our lips.

Her lips were soft and sweet. They moved slowly and made the moment last. I appreciate that she's letting it take awhile.

I pull her closer to me and I can feel Natalie arch her back.

Then I realized I felt something.

That something scared me. I was scared that I was going to fall in love with this girl and that would only make my life worse.

I pulled away knowing that if I didn't I would only try to go further and I didn't want to get anymore between Steve and Natalie. Or between Steve and I. I would hate to ruin things between them because Steve deserves the world and he means a lot to me.

"So? Did you feel anything?" Natalie asked me full of hope.

Now what? I can't say yes and then she feel guilty for not wanting to be with me. I can't say no either because then she'd just feel bad.

For now, I'd rather just figure things out on my own though. I have to keep her from knowing. Just for now though.

"No," I say softly.

I hate that I lied, but I hate that I can't be with her. I hate that I did this. I hate that I'm falling for it.

But I loved every second of it.

Natalie gave me a pitiful look and wrapped her arms around me.

"Maybe this isn't all bad. Maybe you just don't like me. Yeah, I guarantee that I'm the problem. We just have to find you a decent woman. Which is hard to come by these days. On the bright side, on my earth every girl loved you. The fanfiction was extensive," she tries to cheer me up.

"Fanfiction?"

"Oh yeah. All sorts of stuff. they really showed your emotions," she smiles and pokes my shoulder.

She does that to me a lot.

I like it.

"Well, I'm not so sure about that," I laugh nervously.

"I guess we have to find you a good girl to figure it out."