careless // joshler

8½; josh

trigger warning for a death threat! (tbh i don't know)

josh hadn't talked to bench boy in a week, almost two. not that he hadn't wanted, it was just that he... actually, he didn't have a reason. maybe it was because of the way the boy had just left him while they were talking without even telling is name, or maybe it was the fact that the guy had been nowhere to be seen, and that fact made it nearly impossible to talk to him.

anyhow, josh was growing tired of waiting. he wanted to talk to the boy. hell, he thought of him every day when he woke up. he thought of him before falling asleep. he thought of him so obsessively he was starting to worry himself.

of course, he hadn't told anything to ryan, brendon or dallon. he was quite sure they'd consider him absolutely mental, and that was the last thing josh needed.

the thing he needed was to see the bench boy again. so you bet he was very, very surprised when he turned around the corner of the street to a smaller one and saw the boy sitting there against the wall on top of a few soaked carboard boxes, blood dripping out of his nose and onto his dirt-covered shirt. the boy's eyes were closed, and it looked like he was sleeping.

"h-hey?" josh quietly asked, stepping closer to the boy and crouching down. "a-are you alright?"

after waiting for a response for a minute or two, josh placed his hand on the boy's shoulder and carefully shook him awake. the boy looked up at josh confusedly before his eyes turned big and he jumped up onto his feet.

"leave me the fuck alone you bastard!" the boy angrily said, glaring at josh as he wiped the shoulder josh's hand had been on clean.

"i-i-i'm s-sorry," josh stuttered, looking down at the ground in shame. "i-i was just w-wondering i-i-if you-you're o-okay."

"i'm just fucking peachy," the boy growled, crossing his arms across his chest.

josh could clearly see the boy was shivering, and made the deduction that the reason he placed his arms where he did was an attempt to warm himself up. however, josh did not feel like asking the boy if he was cold or needed food or something, and so he just awkwardly stood on his place, swaying back and forth slightly.

the boy turned to look at josh and place his hand on josh's shoulder, whilst the other on went into his own pocket, clearly searching for something. the boy pulled out a switchblade after a moment and then flipped it open before pointing it straight at josh's face.

"if you ever talk to me, or look at me, i swear to god you'll regret it."

"o-o-ok-k-kay," josh quietly answered, his eyes wide with fear, unable to look anywhere else but straight into the boy's big brown eyes.

without another moment of hesitation, bench boy pushed the switchblade back into his pocket and let his hand stay there. "now go."

and he didn't have to tell josh twice. within five seconds josh was way out of the boy's reach. that didn't mean josh felt safe. no, he ran the whole two-and-a-half-kilometre way back to his home.

after he had calmed his breathing a bit, he knew he'd have to talk about what had happened with someone, and so he pulled out his phone.

he scrolled through his ten contacts over and over again, but he didn't know who to call. not his threesome friends, not his parents, and, you guessed it, not his siblings. and so, he picked out the only number that wasn't any of those.

josh; i just had my life threatened.

tyler; that's every day business for me.

josh; oh. okay.

after that josh didn't know how to continue the conversation, so he just decided not to at all.

why was life so hard?