careless // joshler

14; tyler

trigger warning: homophobia, transphobia!

tyler stepped through the 'get through the rainbow' doors. although he had last been there a week ago, it felt like it had been yesterday. he was definitely not ready for this, but he had decided to shake it up and see what happens if he complies with everything he gets told to say or do today. one of his most ridiculous ideas, but he was bored of always being so rebellious, it was tiring, really. so, for once he decided to do everything differently.

"joseph? the group is starting."

tyler simply nodded and stood up before walking into the room the lady was holding the door open to. he took a seat in the front row and glanced around. no one was there yet, he was usually the one to arrive first for some reason.

a couple of minutes passed by before the first kid walked in. tyler didn't bother looking at who it was, but when the person started quietly talking and then a dog barked, tyler just had to.

"joshua?" tyler almost yelled in surprise, staring in shock at the boy from school and his faded purple hair that, although he absolutely hated to admit it, made him feel some kind of a way.

tyler watched as joshua jumped a bit at the loud noise before looking up. his eyes turned wide and he quickly looked back down at his feet, guiding his dog to a seat. tyler hesitated for a moment before getting up from his seat and walking over to joshua. well, not directly to him. he sat down in a chair behind the purple-haired boy without saying a word, seeing as the rest of the kids were finally starting to walk back in, most with slightly pained or annoyed looks on their faces, the rest were unreadable.

"today's group has a new participant, since he could no longer make it to his earlier assigned group," the annoying-looking, middle-aged lady spoke as she made her way to the podium. "so, with this reasoning, please introduce yourselves. tell your names, age and reasoning for being here. start from here."

and so, the first one on the front row started, explaining something about being bisexual, but tyler wasn't listening. not only had he heard the same a thousand times, but he was slightly distracted, because that purple hair actually looked kind of nice from up close and it also looked so fluffy, god it looked so fluffy, and tyler really wanted to touch it and run his fingers through the mess and-

tyler was interrupted by joshua standing up, and god no, that was not a good way to be interrupted. tyler closed his eyes as not to stare, but he listened intently.

"i-i'm, uh, j-josh," joshua started, his voice shaky and quiet. "a-and i'm g-gay, but my s-stepmom doesn't l-l-like it, 'cause she t-thinks i'll fall i-in love with h-her s-son."

after speaking joshua sat back down, and tyler watched as he petted his dog, clearly trying to get rid of the anxiety speaking had just caused him. and it was so cute, so, so cute. but only for today. after this tyler would never think that. today was an exception, he was acting like he never would. then, it was tyler's turn. hesitating, he got up and cleared his throat before talking.

"well, uh, i'm tyler, i-"

"your real name, miss joseph."

"i'm june," tyler started, his voice getting quiet and tears threatening to spill from his eyes. he now remembered why he always rebelled. "and i'm transgender, as well as a flaming homosexual."

"you are heterosexual, miss joseph. you're a girl, and you like boys, isn't it so?" the lady timidly said, causing tyler to shrug and look down, trying to fight the tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

tyler could feel eyes on him the rest of the time, but he couldn't come face to face with anyone without crying. he sat on his place, staring at his worn-out vans, hearing the sound of the lady preaching as though it was coming from a mile away.

as soon as the meeting ended, tyler bolted up and raced for the door, but just as he was starting to pull it open, he heard a quiet voice before feeling a hand on his shoulder.

"hey.."