seventeen

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Emotions










Another week flew by and nothing managed to change

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Another week flew by and nothing managed to change. Things were calm in the palace, letting me get day through day without any difficulties.

Jungkook and I proceeded on sending each other letters. I informed him about everything that happened, making him angered with the king greatly. But he agreed, saying it would probably be safest way meet up at night. We settled to meet in a week from now.

Girls and I got even closer together after the day I confessed about everything that was happening between me and the king. At first they were a little shaken up, asking me about every single detail, making it really hard for me to spill out some things I would rather keep to myself.







"Maybe he  just wants to try out something new?" piped up Jennie with one eyebrow up, her head in her palms as she looked like she was thinking really hard.

"Maybe, but that still doesn't explain why he's 'trying' it with Chaeyoung only." muttered Jisoo with a frown.

"Maybe because she's new." said Lisa, "I mean, it would be really weird for me if he suddenly called and handled me completely different than before.  All out of nowhere. I would feel really uncomfortable at least." she explained to Jisoo who bit her lip, nodding.

"You're right. I don't know how I would act after all those nights with him."







It did make sense, it really did. But I didn't want it to be that way. I mean, not in a hundred years would I want him to handle me harshly. But the way he treats me now, he's making it hard for me to see him as someone who only uses me for pleasure. He's making it hard for me to hate him. See him as no one but the guy who's keeping me hostage. Someone who has my whole life in his palm, the ability to crush it anytime he wants always threatening me in silence.

It was hard seeing him for who he really was.

The girls told me to not get too attached to him, as he was definitely just playing with his free time. But it was easier said then done.

It was true that throughout the days he would ignore me, as if I was not even there. Besides the few hours I would see him working in the throne hall, I didn't see him much in the daylight anyway. But every single evening, Yeonjun would pay me a visit. And to say the truth, the guy looked completely confused as to why he had to always call for no one but me. The look he gave me every time I opened the door for him was hilarious.

And every night, in between those bloody-red walls, I would always nearly lose my mind while trying to control my emotions. Gripping the bed sheets beneath me, my fingers turning white and my mind turning cloudy.

'Don't get too excited.' I would tell myself.

But for some reason, his touches, his kisses, his whispers turned sweeter every night, my insides swelling at the actions. Or maybe it was me, maybe I was really going crazy in the head.

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