Heaven for Everyone (Book II)

3.) Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

A/N:

*TRIGGER WARNING*

Mentions of suicide and self harm!
Please skip if you are not safe or comfortable with such topics!! ❤️

Alsooo..

¡SMUT WARNING!

Kash came over the this morning to drop off the children. Rose, Ronnie and Anita came shortly after that. The women have been huddled up in my room for hours without coming out once. Cherie hasn't even asked to see the kids, which really has me worried, since they keep asking for her.

"She's really not doing too well, Freddie. I think she may need some professional help..," Kash sighs and rubs her temples as she sits next to me on the couch. Charlie and Richie are luckily absorbed in their favorite television program. I sometimes wish I could be as oblivious about things like a child.

"What should I do, Kash? She won't talk to me, she won't eat and she only slept a good 2 hours yesterday. She just lies in bed..," I feel my sisters hand on my shoulder when she hears the desperation in my voice.

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Cherie:

"Honey, you've really got to eat something, your cheeks look gaunt already...," Rose tries again to talk to me as the rest of the girls cuddle me in the bed.

I'm in the middle of them, just staring at the ceiling. I haven't the energy to pretend to be happy to see them. I don't have the energy to do much of anything , except lie here and replay the events of the past couple of days.

Everything had been going so smoothly, I should have known it was too easy. But that's the thing, isn't it? It was such a difficult feat to even get pregnant this time around, I had counted those miserable months of trying as our hard times. I try to recall everything I did, anything sour I might have eaten, any type of answer or cause for having such a devastating miscarriage. It just doesn't add up!

"Cherie...honey...Freddie is going to bring the kids up now...we will all wait downstairs unless you want us to go..," I hear Kashs voice from the doorway. I don't answer her, but the girls all crawl off the bed and head out of the bedroom.

"Mummy!!," My Charlie's musical voice brings me back to life as she runs and jumps onto the bed.

"Mummy? Wake uuuuup, Mummy!!," My Richie is naturally a caring soul, always the clever boy who is so in tune with empathy.

I cuddle both of them in my arms as we lay back in the bed. My soul stings, my heart has no feeling.

"Not time for seeping, Mummy! The sun says hello!," My little princess is always the cheerful little bean.

I hear footsteps coming around the corner, outside the bedroom. Freddie hesitates to come inside the room. I don't blame him, I must be such a burden to deal with.

He looks at us for a while, before coming closer and sitting on the very edge of the bed. His heavy hand grabs my ankle and he starts to rub my feet. I can't stop the tears that slip out of the corner of my eyes. He is always so perfect, I don't know how he puts up with me. I just hope he doesn't leave me, now that he knows I can't carry a baby to term. I know he wants more children just as badly as I do. That's why I can't bring myself to face him alone. I've disappointed my husband with the one thing a woman is meant to do with ease. How will he forgive me?

"No cwy, Mummy..," Richies little chubby hand rubs my cheek, in the way he's watched his father do it so many times before. "Papi, was wong with Mummy?," the concern in my babies voice pushes me over the edge. What is wrong with me. I'm scaring the children!