Heaven for Everyone (Book II)

50.) So Still I Wait

A/N:

Thank you all for reading my heap of garbage! I really appreciate all you beauties 💖💖

I can't believe I only started this series in like- May?? That's crazy to me!

Anyways, my heart hasn't really been into it these last few chapters and if you've noticed- I'm really sorry!

Much lurveee, lovies!
❤️🥰
Xx

"Just push it. Push it all back as long as you can,"

"Freddie...if he makes bail-,"

"Well tell the judge not to give him any bail! Or give a ridiculous amount! I'm sure the fool has no money saved! I can't deal with both of these things right now!,"

"I'll try my best, but no promises..,"

"Fine..Fine thats Fine. Just keep me updated,"

After a long talk with the police and a huge fight with my friends, Im finally back at this place I call home. Danielle was arrested as soon as she stepped foot on Monserrat's doorstep. They're still trying to track down Mary- but I know Mary- or at least I thought I did. She'll turn herself in, I think...but then again, I never thought she'd go this route. I knew we ended on bad terms again, but I didn't think she had it in her to do something so horrible.

I can't believe I forgot to tell her I love her. But she has to know it. Cherie knows that my love is never ending, she knows that I'm a very emotional man- she has to know that I'm trying. Yes, I feel like an asshole. I feel too many things at once and it's driving me insane!

I feel selfish and at the lowest of the lows, that's why I have to figure myself out. I need to step away from all of this- my life. I wish things were easy. I wish it were as easy as all the other times to just press everything down inside and move forward and try to find happiness again.

I got the call for the test results earlier today. I know she's mine, which leads me to believe that the twins are, too even without having taken any tests. But I can't know for sure. It just makes it all the more difficult.

Why can't I forget about it? Why can't I push her face out of my mind, the sputtering hatred that came out of her mouth replays in my ears nonstop. She looks just like her, she spoke the same way, everything- everything sits in my mind and all I want to do is forget it, but I can't!

I can't sit and cry about it anymore. Too much self pity has lead me to where I am now. Mentally, I'm drained. I keep telling myself that it's all my fault- everything. I should've just let her go the first time. Maybe she'd be happier then. Maybe none of this would have happened and we would have been better off.

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Cherie:

Rose assists the nurse to take me into the small bathroom. It's the first time I've taken a shower in days, I feel so repulsive. I hate that Rose and this nurse have to put up with the smell of me. I start to silently let the tears roll out. I feel so embarrassed.

"I can take it from here...thank you..," Rose insists for the nurse to leave us after she's turned on the shower. It's pretty cramped in here for three people anyhow.

"It's okay, honey- I'm here..,"

She helps me wash my hair, her fingertips scrubbing away the grease and grime that's collected into thick knots throughout my hair. I don't think there's any fixing them.

I stand under the shower head, watching the filthy water slide down my body and loop around the drain. My body feels weaker today than it did last night. My arms hold me still as Rose works a soapy sponge across my back.