Heaven for Everyone (Book II)

36.) You're All I See

Cherie:

"Don't you think you should stop now. Just give yourselves a chance to heal and finally be happy!,"

"Don't you think I want that?!," I say exasperated at her. "Of course, I want us to live normally and be happy. I'm tired of everything being ruined for us. I just, I don't know, I can't get close to him, Rose. He..well not him, but the thought of him with myyy sister makes me disgusted!,"

"That bitch is just as big a psychopath as your mom was! It wasn't his fault and you know it. Stop punishing him and just move forward. If you really love him, if you really want to still be with him- give your love a chance,"

I know she's right. I tell myself this all the time. Every night, I lie awake and wish I had the courage to go up to our bedroom and just lay down beside him.

"Did you get a chance to skim through the book?," She asks as she opens the line of canned corn.

"No- he always hides the thing! It takes too long to find- so, I downloaded my own copy onto my phone. I've finished it already.," Rose nods with a smile as she shuts off all the burners on the stove top.

The doorbell rings and my stomach starts to knot. The only ones not here are Freddie and Roger. I know it's them.

"I'll get it. Take this to the table," she hands me the bowls of mash potatoes and one of sweet yams. "And remember- be nice!,"

As Veronica and I serve the children's plates and place it at their small table, Roger and Freddie walk into the dining room.

"Hi, Papi!," Charlie greets with a smile as Freddie bends down to kiss her and Richie on their heads, just as I walk towards the large dining table.

I take my seat beside Rose and seconds later Freddie takes his place to my left. He doesn't say anything to me, really he doesn't even acknowledge me as he says hello to everyone else. I understand his stand off approach. Step one- check.

"I want to thank everyone, for coming together today. I know we have never actually celebrated this holiday together, but it's something Cherie and I used to do. Mostly for the heavy home cooking and getting filled up on bottles of wine," Everyone chuckles as Rose swirls her large wine glass in her hand.

"Anyway-," She continues, "I just really wanted us to all get together and celebrate our tight knit family. I'm so happy to be a part of it! Now, let's dig in!," She raises her glass in a toast and we all raise our glasses as well.

"You look beautiful, amor," Freddie leans into my ear, his voice a husky whisper.

Remember- be nice...

"So do you," I whisper back, letting a tiny smile touch my lips, as I look down at my hands. Stop being so timid! At least this means good communication- step two, check.

"Cherie, how did the doctor appointment go, today? Did you find out if it's a boy or a girl?," Anita, who is sitting across from us, next to Brian, asks between sips of wine.

I feel Freddie tense up a bit at her question, but he answers before I can, "She is still not a definite girl, yet, but that's my guess,"

Be nice, be nice, be nice....

"We haven't found out, yet, but I think we will soon," I answer her with a wink, just because I know Freddie is staring at me.

"What about you, Veronica?," I turn my head down to my left to the Deacons. "When's the little Deakling making her appearance?,"