Brown Eyes | Alren

| 9 |

The next night...

- Ally -
I haven't answered any phone calls all day. My phone went dead when I got home last night and it's been sitting on the kitchen counter since.

I woke up with tears in my eyes. It doesn't feel good waiting up with your heart broken.

Dinah has called and texted me. Normani has called and text me. And of course, they are more missed calls, more unread messages from Lauren than anybody in my phone.

Normani: 15 missed calls, 12 unread messages, 4 missed FaceTime calls

Dinah: 20 missed calls, 9 unread messages, 7 missed FaceTime calls.

Lauren: 27 missed calls, 15 unread messages, 10 missed FaceTime calls.

I don't want to be bothered with no one today. I feel so numb. Numb to the touch of my skin. Nothing is worse than coping with a broken heart.

I hate that I love Lauren. I love her so much. It's just hurts to know she did this to me. She cheated on me with my best friend.

What makes this all worse is the fact that Normani is so sprung that she's oblivious to this. And Lauren is so good at hiding all this that she can't even assume anything is going on outside of their relationship. Hell, she for sure fooled me.

I would've blown up out of anger if I continued to sit there last night.

Lauren kissed her. Lauren claimed her love for Normani. The danced together. She called her pet names she called me. Names that we made up together. Everything she did with Normani, she did with me. But here I was thinking everything we did was special. Here I was thinking I was all Lauren needed and wanted. Believing every word she told me. Taking her love and sweetness in like a drug. Falling for everything she did. Treating me like a princess, giving me everything my heart desired. Sexing me in the best way possible. Making me feel like I was the only girl in the world.

It was all a damn lie. But I believed it like a child believing Elmo isn't a puppet.

Love is blind. And I would know. You become so in love with a person that makes you blind. You don't think that person could do no wrong. And they make you believe with telling you sweet nothing's. Loving you with every inch of their body. Showering you with love, care, making you feel protected,

When you're treated like that on a daily basis by someone who makes you feel like the world revolves around you, it's hard to believe anything can ever go wrong and that they can't even do wrong.

It's just one of those days. I don't wanna be bothered, I don't wanna leave my couch. I don't wanna see anyone. I wanna be alone.

It hurts even worse because I can't say anything to Normani about it. She's so happy. I know it's the right thing to do but I don't have the guts. I wanna say something but I can't because although I'm mad at Lauren, I still love her. I'm still in love with her. And I can't get her off my mind.

I'm crazy about her. Although I'm upset and hurt by her actions, to stop loving her completely is gonna take me a long time. You can't just fall out of love with someone like that. Not when I felt strong emotions for her as soon as we met eyes.

I've known Lauren for nearly three-four months. But it feels like I've known her for years. When you have that connection with somebody, it's hard to just cut them off. It's hard to just stop thinking about them. To just push them completely out your life. It's not that easy. It's NEVER that easy.