Brown Eyes | Alren

| 14 |

- Lauren -
TEN MONTHS. TEN WHOLE MONTHS.

Sadly, and as crazy as it is, we had been keeping the charade for ten whole months. The year is almost over and we had yet told Normani the truth.

I can't believe it myself. Every other week Ally would have a breakdown because she holding this in all while being around Normani and pretending everything is okay. I know it's harder for her than it is for me so I never think she's being dramatic. I'd be in the same state if I were in her shoes.

Ally has a good heart. Her intentions are never bad. She's the sweetest person you can ever meet. She wouldn't harm a fly. So I know she can't stand this. I know that this is slowly killing her inside. It's all my fault.

I've tried numerous times talking to her, asking her if she wanted to just end things. Now me, personally, I don't want to. God knows I don't want to and refuse to actually. But he also knows I'd do anything for Ally, only if it made her happy.

I've told her many times "hey if this is really too much for you and you don't think you can ever tell her about this, I won't hold you back if you decide to end things with me" despite how much I don't want her to. Every time I tell her that, she says no. I can't tell her what to do. She's grown. She says she's in love with me, and I believe her. We give off the same energy.

This charades has been happening for ten months and honestly, I believe Dinah knows. If she doesn't know, she at least suspects something is going on between us. It's hard to explain why I think so. Her vibes around me and Ally is so thin-like. It's like she's being too careful around us or when we say things to each other. Like if Ally's talking and I'm looking at her, I can feel Dinah looking at me. It's the way vice verse. Its just weird.

She knows something. But she's not telling me she knows something, nor is she telling Ally. Not even Normani. I mentioned it to Ally so that Ally would take notice because I know I'm not crazy and Ally sees it too. That girl is on to us, and lately me and Ally have been very careful. Very, very careful. Oh, this has been going on for about two months now.

"Do you know what you're wearing to the dinner Saturday?" I ask Ally as we stood outside on her balcony nursing our glasses of wine, enjoying the evening breeze and leaning over the railing looking upon the city of Los Angeles. The sun was just beginning to set.

"Weeeell," she dragged. "I have some ideas."

"Ideas?" I said with lifted brows. "Well that's a good start. However, the dinner is Saturday which is two days away. You're moving kinda slow."

She scoffed before giggling. "Um excuse me? I'm pretty quick. I'll find something by tomorrow night. What are YOU wearing since you're questioning me?"

"You know me." I shrugged. "I'm being casual. Nice shirt and jeans. I refuse to wear a dress."

"What's wrong with dresses?" She frowned. " I think you have nice legs, I'd LOVE to see how they look when you put on heels and a nice, tight dress."

"Tight? Hell no. Definitely not tight."

"Why not?" She chuckled.

"Ally I'm transgender, remember?" I reminded her. "Why would I wear I a tight dress. My penis is gonna wave at everyone."

"Then tuck it." She said simply.

"It's too big for me to try and tuck." I sighed and I heard her giggle to herself.

"You're right about that." She mumbled before lifting her glass to her lips.

I blushed before licking my lips and lifting my glass as well.