Brown Eyes | Alren

| 28 |

— Lauren —
I took a morning jog just to try and clear my mind for awhile. Tomorrow is Normani's doctors appointment and it feels like it's taking forever to get here.

It's been two whole days since me and Ally broke up. Of course I've talked to Normani. She's the one who gave me date of the appointment.

As for Ally, she's still not answering my calls. And it's a hard pill to swallow knowing she doesn't want anything to do with me. Normani got the 'Yes' from Ally to go over and talk to her so she's going over there later on I guess.

Practically, Normani is pregnant. Overall she did take a test and it came back positive. But she wanted professional confirmation from her doctor. She told me the reason why she's doing all of this is because the women of her family have a history of believing their pregnant based on what a test told them and then that not being the case. Her mother was told on a test that she wasn't pregnant and then when she went to the doctor, she was.

After doing research, it's called "Harperlosis" which is when a woman's liquid is unable to give a pregnancy testree true answers. A pregnancy testree is the pregnancy test you buy at your local pharmacy and they only tell you yes or no. The ones they use at the doctor are more of small machine. They tell you yes or no and how far along you are.

But aside from all of that, I can't stop thinking about Ally. That argument completely broke me in half and I'm still not okay.

At the end of the day, Ally is my number one. I don't care what anyone says. That is my number 1. She is the love of my life. I'd take a bullet for that woman.

I plan to have a future with her. Live my life with her in it. Ally was wifey from the moment we had our first conversation on our first date.

She's the sweetest, most beautiful person and she's so fucking smart. She knows her shit. She has morals, values and is passionate. She's so self assured and confident. She has this sexy energy and I connect with it so hard that's there's no way we don't match. Her fly matches my fly. That woman is everything I've ever wanted and we just had bad timing. She's the right one, but it's the wrong time.

Normani is a beautiful person but she's not the woman for me. She's so predictable. She goes by one schedule everyday. She wakes up everyday at the same time unless she has a flight to catch. She eats the same thing, has the same workout routine, drives the same way, drives the same routes to places, wears her makeup the same way—she's the complete opposite to Ally.

Opposites attract which is why there best friends.

Ally never the does the same shit. And I love that about her. She's so spontaneous. She's timid like Normani but a little less. Now don't get me wrong, when Normani performs she's a beast, but then she's back to this timid quiet person. She seems to be alive when around Dinah and Ally but I wish she'd be like that with me and she won't. I've tried opening her up and I've tried asking her and she won't.

But with Ally, we joke we laugh and we roast each other. We're always talking shit to each other and it's all love. We do concerts in the kitchen, we re-enact movie scenes and music videos, we pour oil on the floor and make a slip-n-slide in the kitchen, hell we even kiss in the rain. We're two big ass kids who love like adults.

Then it's the little things she's does that makes me fall deeper in love with her. She'll look at me and listen to me when I talk. She'll call me me pretty at the most random moments. She'll kiss my arm—I don't why she does but it's so cute. I think I blush the hardest when she kisses my cheek. I feel like a little kid. I even love when she puts my clothes out for me while I'm in the shower or puts my hair in a ponytail for me when I'm cooking. The thing that always gets me is that I love when she plays in my hair when we're watching a movie or I'm driving.