Arthit let Kongpob walk out of his life three years ago in the cheer hall where it all began, coming to a full circle. So, how do they move on from their once in a lifetime love? Can time really heal anything like they say? Read to find out.
#1 Ar...
At the end of the day, Arthit had this overwhelming feeling to go back to the campus where he was once carefree. Where he had met Kongpob, and unknowingly fell head over heels in love with him. As he made his way into the cheer hall, he saw a familiar figure sitting on the stage. His body and mind was in so much conflict. His body wanted to run to the young man bury himself into him, while his mind slowed his feet making his strides slow and heavy. Images of their past flashed in his mind like it was just yesterday. His aquaintance, then became junior, then became lover Kongpob was right in front of him. As he finally reached the stage, he sat next to Kongpob.
He stared out into nothing particular in front of him, and asked, "what are you doing here?" Kongpob replied with the same question, "funny, I wanted to ask you the same question P'Arthit."
Arthit's heart squeezed hearing Kongpob call him his name after not hearing it all day. He then said, "I just missed this place. Time seems to go by so fast."
"Yes P', it's so fast that I can't keep up.....we have come so far."
Arthit only hummed to that statement.
"P'Arthit, do you still want me to walk by your side, or would you like me to stop here?" Before Arthit could let those words sink in, almost like in slow motion he saw Kongpob place his gear, no his bleeding heart next to him.
"P'Arthit, if you can't answer this question, I will return this to you now. When you have an answer, we can talk again."
With those words spoken, Kongpob hopped off the stage and slowly walked out of the cheer hall. Kongpob walked slow enough to give Arthit a chance to stop him, call for him, but the voice he longed for didn't come. Instead he heard only his own heart breaking as he left. Arthit's eyes blurred with tears flowing down like a river. He clutched his gear not believing this is how it ends. He was so numb and shocked, he couldn't even cry out loud. He wanted to call his moon back, but he didn't have the courage to do it. He half believed this way was better. To let Kongpob walk away from him because he knew he was selfish, and would only drag the inevitable much longer causing even greater pain and damage. So maybe this really was better for them.
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That night as Arthit pass by Kongpob's apartment, he had the urge to break down his door and take Kongpob far far away where none of this mattered. Where their world was just their love. But he didn't. Slowly, he just walked pass it and made his way back to his own apartment. He told himself, 'Arthit, you need to let him go.' He cried so much that night that he was spent with no more tears left and fell into a fitful sleep. He woke up with a headache, but what hurt the most was his heartache.
He looked at the clock to see that he was already late for work. He felt chills throughout his body, and sure enough he had started to run a fever. Arthit must have really gone out of his mind as he thought to himself, this must be Kongpob withdrawal effect. All these years, Kongpob was a sugar inducing addiction. Everyday in the past 3 years, Kongpob gave him a dose of sugar loaded cheesy lines, be it through messages or words from his mouth. Arthit never would admit it to Kongpob, but he loved hearing Kongpob say those words to him no matter how red and embarrassed he got from them. He would take those words anyway Kongpob dished them because only Kongpob would say such things to him. As these thoughts surround his mind, his tear ducts seemed to work again blurring his vision like a water dam broke.
He messaged his co-worker P'Earth to help him request a sick leave for the day. When he made his way towards the bathroom, a piece of paper under his door caught his attention. When he got closer, he saw that it was an envelope. He grabbed the door knob, and swung it open half hoping that Kongpob would be standing on the other side. But he wasn't. Instead, hung on the door knob was his very familiar breakfast. A Chinese donut and soy milk. A memory of how he whined about Kongpob not getting his favorite pink milk for him instead of the soy milk played in this mind. Kongpob's reason was that soy milk was healthier for breakfast, and Arthit should have his pink milk as a pick me up later in the day instead, but of course within an hour or two, Kongpob would always get Arthit his pink milk fix when they were together. Arthit's eyes haven't even dried yet, and it's now flowing again. Arthit grabbed the breakfast and picked up the envelope on the floor. He pulled out a letter from the envelope and started reading.
To My Sun,
Falling in love with you was the easiest and the most unexpected thing to have ever happened to me. I wake up with a smile on my face every morning no matter it's raining or shining because you were my very own sunshine. I always wanted to make you happy like the way you make me. I know you are a shy person, and you show your feelings through your actions more than words. I tease you all the time just to see your cute smiles and blushing reaction. I love everything about you. Your kindness, your silliness, your hot temper, and morning grump. Don't ever change that.
P'Arthit, I love calling your name. I wish I could call you one more time. P'Arthit, I'm sorry I'm not enough for you. I know our love is real, but it's not enough to give you courage. I never thought of our love as right or wrong. I think love is just what the heart wants. I didn't think of the burden my love have brought you. I know you are afraid of other's judgement of you, of me, of us. So, I'm sorry the pain I have caused you. I will not regret the times I have spent with you though. These past 3 years have been like a sweet dream to me. We've learned to care, love, and grow together. But like all dreams, we must wake up. And as much of an early riser I am, for once I'm not the one who wants to wake up first. So, I guess the time has come for me to wake up from my dream now.
P'Arthit, you've once told me that college life is not the same as work life, but I actually think it is the same no matter where you are. As long as you are true to yourself, you will find those who accept you for who you are. I hope you will find the love that would make you proud and strong. I hope you will find the love that I couldn't give. You will always be my sun, and there will never be a sunrise I don't think about you. Please take care of yourself P'Arthit. Do make sure to eat breakfast since you tend to get busy and skip lunch sometimes. Thank you for the past 3 years. Goodbye my sun.
Your Moon, Kongpob
If hearts can literally shatter, then Arthit's was definitely one of them. He held onto Kongpob's letter like it was his lifeline. He sat on the floor crying until there were no more tears. He hated himself for being weak and a coward. Here Kongpob pours his heart out, and bares his soul for all to see. Kongpob was brave for their love, and willing to fight for what he believed. But Arthit just stomped all over his heart. He did not deserve Kongpob. He doubts he deserves loves from anybody at all. He weakly got up, and walked over to Kongpob's apartment to find it unlocked, and completely empty. It was so empty that it seemed like no one has been there ever at all. Suddenly, realization hits Arthit that Kongpob is really gone. His moon will no longer come back to him. All the times in the past when they fought, Kongpob always gave him a chance to make it up. This time it's really final.
AN: I hope this chapter isn't too long for you. My story is a slow burner, so there's a lot character feelings. I just wanted to express their inner turmoils.
