Bitch Code 1.0 (MUST Series #3)

Hindi ito update. May I-sishare lang ako

Hi.

So I decided to write this para malaman niyo kung bakit ngayon lang ako nakabalik sa wattpad.

May mga nagtatanong kasi pero gusto ko na lang siyang isulat para hindi na ako mag eexplain individually sa message box. HAHAAHAHAHA. Tapulan kaayo ko ba! Nakakapagod kasi mag type. :-)

There are different kinds of writer.

Ako, I belong to the 2 groups: I write because I feel like writing and I write because I wanted to write. (HAHAHA)

Totoo, meaning, I write according to my mood.

I write if I am inspired

I write if I am in pain or emotional

I write if I feel motivated

I write if I feel me.

Year 2018, was a challenging year for me. Sobrang daming nangyari, some were good, some weren't and some I hope it didn't happen.

Sobrang daming deadlines and new challenges because of promotion.

Araw-araw, iba-iba ang problemang dadating sa aking mesa.

I need to think about the operations and my area of responsibility.

May mga inspections pa unexpectedly from different auditing company.

I was indeed tired!

September 2018,

Nakaupo ako kaharap ang aking laptop

Pero kahit anong gawin ko, wala akong maisulat.

My brain is not functioning and I am so tired from work.

Gusto kong magsulat, pero hindi ko alam kung anong isusulat.

I even came to the point na I pushed myself to write, only to find out,

my words didn't have soul and it didn't feelings.

Meaning - useless siya!

And I have come to realize, na masama talagang pilitin ang isang bagay,

na hindi mo naman talaga kayang gawin.

you will end up losing it instead.

I was disappointed of myself.

I was frustrated. But still, sinubukan ko ulit.

After work, I will try again to write...

but I still end up feeling the same.

I asked myself anong nangyari at saan ako nagkamali. (Charot... hahaha)

Pero totoo, tinanong ko talaga ang sarili ko bakit ako biglang nagkaganito.

I thought, maybe hindi na motivated?

Maybe, nawalan na ako ng gana?

Hindi ko alam.

In my thoughts, I wanted to write. but everytime I try to write, wala. walang lumalabas sa aking isipan.

I had my notes, my outlines kung ano na dapat ang susunod na kabanata pero hindi ko sila mabuo lahat.

Hindi ko talaga alam kung ano ang nangyayari sa akin.

Nakakabaliw!

October 2018,

Pumunta akong dagat. I sat on shore, it was sunset, kids were playing with their parents, a group of teenagers sat few meters from me talking about their future, everything was perfect, I was imagining scenes for my stories and I felt like I was free... at last?