Falling In Love ≫ c.a.d

Chapter 30

We all got to the house, and I quickly ran upstairs. As I was picking out what I was going to wear to bed someone knocked on my door.

"It's open." I said as I walked over to my dresser.

"Hey Sophia." Aaron said as he sat on my bed.

"Hey." I smiled.

"I know you weren't happy when Shawn said he was dating Lexi. You faked smile....are you ok?" He asked.

I looked at him and shook my head. "I love him Aaron."

"What about Cameron?" He asked.

"I have no idea what me and Cameron are! He keeps hurting me, and I told him we should just be friends, but we sleep together. Not like that...well honestly I don't know what happened that night, I hope we didn't sleep together like that."

"Babe you need to clear the air. Talk to Cameron, and than talk to Shawn. Let's all just talk." Aaron suggested.

I shrugged, and we all walked downstairs.

"Is Lexi hot?" Cameron asked Shawn, as I overheard what they were talking about as I made my way downstairs.

Shawn chuckled, "She is a beauty. What's going on with you and Sophia?" He asked.

I coughed. "What about me?" I said as I put my hands on my hip.

"We aren't a thing I guess." Cameron said as he slowly looked at me. "Is that what you want?" He asked.

My eyes widen, "I don't know what I want." I shrugged as I took a sit next to Nash and Carter. "Actually I do know what I want. I want to watch American Horror Story and eat some ice cream." I smiled.

They all laughed. Nash handed me the remote and I turned on AHS.

"Tay can you go get the ice cream please?" I asked.

"No." He laughed.

"Please!!!" I cried.

"No." He stated.

"I want ice cream!" I yelled as I put my head on Carter's shoulder. "Matthew can you get the ice cream?" I asked him.

"No, I am making a snapchat story of you pouting kiddo." He laughed.

"Oh? So you went from a youtuber, to a viner, to a snapchater?" I asked. Everyone laughed.

I got up to get my ice cream, and someone tapped my shoulder. I quickly turned around, yeah I still get jumpy around this guys. It was Cameron, great.

"Sophia can we talk?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes, "To be honest I really don't want to talk. I want to eat my ice cream, and watch American Horror Story so if you'll excuse me." I said as I tried to walk pass him, but he blocked me.

"I love you, I really do. And I know you don't trust me, and I know you think all this is am saying is bullshit, but it isn't. I really love you, and I want you to trust me, and I am willing to do anything for you." He said.

"Cameron I am tired! I don't know what to do anymore. I thought you loved me, but I don't know if you actually did. Everytime you get drunk, you hurt me. It's like your not happy, and when your not happy you make me not happy. I wanna be happy Cam, I don't remember what it feels like to be happy. I haven't felt happy for years now, my life isn't happy. You aren't helping. I need help, I want to be happy." I sobbed.

"I know, and i'm sorry. I don't think before I do things. I do stupid shit, and the next day I don't remember who I've hurt." He sighed.

I nodded. "You know who you've hurt now. And that person is me." I said as I walked away.

He grabbed my wrist. "I don't deserve you do I? Am I too good for you? Do you want someone who can be there for you everytime, who is happy and can make you happy also? Who makes no mistakes ever?"

"I never said that! I just want to be fucking happy. I've been either depressed, or mad, or sad, or just completely emotionless for a long time time! When will I be just happy? Not happy for an hour or two, for a long time." I yelled.

"You can't be happy because this world isn't fucking happy. We are all fucked, not just you!" He snapped.

"This isn't all about me!"

"You sure are making it seem like it is."

"See?! You yell at me, and make me feel like shit! This is why I am not happy, I am constantly reminded of how much shit me, and my life are! I thought I was just living in darkness....but no. It's you, your the darkness."

I ripped out of he grip and walked back over to the couch.

"You ok?" Shawn whispered in my ear as everyone else's attention was on AHS.

"No. But I will be." I said. "I'll be happy soon."

~~~~~~

OKAY I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN WHAY HAPPENED HERE BC I QUOTED SOME THINGS FOR AMERICAN HORROR STORY AND I THROE IN SOME PARTS FROM ANOTHER BOOK AND I JUST

IVE BEEN OUT OF SCHOOL FOR A WEEK AND WE DONT HAVE TO GO BACK TILL TUESDAY AND I AM NOT READY TO SEE ANYONE BC I JUST HATE PEOPLE AND I FEEL AS IF I GO BACK I WILL JUST WANT TO YELL AT EVERYONE AND UGH I JUST DONT WANT TO GO BACK

OK BYE (: