Innocent As Charged (Completed)

Chapter 34

Nothing happens.

I growl in frustration; this one time, she couldn't have helped me? I've never asked her for anything and the one time I need help, she doesn't bother. Fuck the Moon Goddess. I thought she was supposed to care for werewolves but clearly that's a lie.

"Isobel?"

Lucas. I forgot he was here still, probably wondering what the hell I'm doing. I don't look at him as I get up from the ground as he's shifted into his human form; however, I'm still in wolf form so I'm not worried about him seeing me. He glances up at the dark sky and gives a frustrated growl.

"It's going to rain. We should head back."

I just tiredly nod in reply and he shifts back, sprinting through the forest, me following close on his heels. I barely make it to the house before collapsing, the pain in my chest excruciating and tears glaze my eyes, making it impossible to see clearly. The agony of not seeing Isaac is heart-wrenchingly real, crushing, suffocating.

"Come on Isobel, let's get you inside." Lucas scoops me up and carries me indoors, entering his bedroom and seating me on his bed. He grabs us some clothes, turning around, and I shift and we change. He sits beside me once we're both changed and gently tilts my head so I'm forced to look at him. "Now tell me what's wrong."

"It hurts."

"What hurts?"

"It just ... hurts." I hate that I can't explain it,  and that even if I do Lucas can't understand it. He doesn't have a mate.

"Is it because you're not with your mate?" I simply nod. "Come here." He pulls me into a tight hug and the floodgates open, tears dripping onto his shoulder. He strokes my back with one hand in an effort to comfort me.

His name keeps echoing around my head. Isaac. Isaac. Isaac. I'm so sorry Isaac; I should never have met you then neither of us would be in this pain. I'm so sorry.

I'm not sorry. It's because of Isaac we had a shot at ever experiencing what it's like to have a mate. He's the only one who ever loved us. I'm not - I could never - be sorry for that. Meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to us.
I know. But that doesn't stop it hurting. It just makes it worse. Because we've lost him.
We haven't! Yes, he's not in our lives at this moment but he's still alive. He just needs to find us.
How? Our scent was washed away a long time ago: he can't follow that.
He can follow the river. Even in his current state, he's probably able to realise that the river is the most likely place to find us.
What you mean by current state?
Iz, he's an Alpha. He's going to be going completely insane due to the distance between us. Despite the said distance, I can feel it faintly through the bond.

We quietly cry onto Lucas' shoulder for what feels like a long time, waiting until we eventually have no tears left to cry and we sit there silently. I realise how weird this must be for Lucas as I pretty much just randomly broke down, and I quickly pull away at the thought.

"Sorry about that."

"Isobel, there is nothing wrong with crying, especially over losing someone close to you."

A tear escapes and he offers me a tissue, allowing me to dry my eyes.

"You need to trust that he will find you. You came down the river; any sensible tracker will follow that. The Moon Goddess knew what she was doing when she put you two together; trust that this will end well, because if you don't, you'll lose the will to keep going and die before you get a chance to meet your mate again."

"The Moon Goddess has never done anything for me. If she'd never put us together then neither of us would be in pain right now."

"Isobel, you have to trust her. You have to trust that she will help you two find eachother."

"I know," I sigh. "But it's just so hard to."

"Can you tell me how you lost your mate?"

"Okay."

Over the next two hours I recount everything to him, both the good and the bad, from me and Isaac's first meeting right up to the trial and my arrival at Lucas' house. When I finish he just stares at me.

"I'm not sure I want a mate If I'm going to go through that."

I can't help giving a half hearted laugh.

"It was because Jack killed a lot of people that I was put on trial. You're too far away from other packs for any wolf to encounter you unless they go out of their way. I'd say you're pretty safe from what I experienced."

"True. And I've never killed anyone. I've just ran away until they gave up, unless they were near here; in which case, I would head them off."

"So yeah, you're safe. You'll probably never have to experience what I did."

"But what are you going to do Isobel? You can't live without ... Isaac, but you can't join his pack."

"I don't know. We might be able to work it out, work out a way to let me back in the pack."

"Maybe."

We spend the next few days racking our mind for ideas but I quickly give up, sinking back into despondency, to the extent that getting up in the morning becomes a chore. Eating is no longer something that is enjoyable but, like waking up, becomes an unpleasant task. Some days, I can't even summon the will to eat and Lucas has to coax me into doing so.

The weeks pass by, but still no sign of Isaac, of our mate, and my hope fades away with it, leaving me with a loneliness that cannot be filled or ignored. Once or twice I think I see him in the distance but each time it's just my imagination and each time hammers home the sense of defeat, and each time I can feel my body shutting down a little more. A tightness in my chest is constantly there, a consistent cause for pain and misery. Three weeks go by; daily tasks are now a struggle and I'm losing the ability to keep going. Lucas has to force me to get me up in the mornings as getting out of bed is impossible.

What has my life come to? Why won't this sadness, this pain go away?

I want to feel joy, happiness again. I want to feel love again.

But I can't.

Because you're not here Isaac. And I really need you right now.

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*checks for ambush*

Okay, it's safe for me to come out.

Hello!

I'm sorry for not uploading.

Writer's block is a pest. I'm sorry.

*Wails*.

Anyway, I'm trying to at least write the later chapters so they don't take as long to write and publish.

Hopefully, I should be able to publish the next two chapters soon after this as they've been written for a while now.

I'm sorry about the shorter length of this chapter but I was trying to avoid dragging it out to an unnecessary length.
Apologies for the wait,
WORxxx

P.S. Tris_fire made this book an amazing new cover! Please go check out her work in her aptly named Flames Graphic Shop.

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