Alejandra Aguinaga
This girl , Alejandra .. let me tell you about the 15 year old girl who has seen me in the most terrible moments of my life.. this fucking girl man
This girl was like my second mother.. she was my second mother.. and she protected me more than anything in the world..
she means the world to me , and I owe it all to her.
let me tell you bout the day I met her.
It was 6th grade .. my cousin ruby and I walked inside the cafeteria.. and I saw her there, sitting at the table right next to the wall on the left of the cafeteria next to the doors.. she would sit there with four others of her friends.
My cousin walked towards her.. and hugged her, I stood behind her and just smiled.
" Alejandra .. this is my cousin lesley " ruby smiled
" hi Lesley " Alejandra smiled and I smiled back..
Back then , I was one shy bitch .. I was like a baby who didn't know how to say words..
She invited us to sit at her table, the three other people she sat with was bryanna who I already met .. a girl named deja and another one named Andrea ..
I introduced myself to them.
They all came from a school named encanto where they all knew each other since preschool .
I felt kinda left out😂
Ever since the first day i met Alejandra and she invited me to sit with her at her table .. I couldn't stop sitting there. I actually stopped sitting with my cousin just to be with them.
I remember so many fun moments with her at that table. We use to make prank phone calls to other places .. I remember there was this one prank phone call we made where Bryanna called McDonald's and told them that she left her child in the playground .. and it turns out .. that McDonald's did not have a playground 💀 , it was dying .. that I think was the best prank phone call I have ever made in my entire life .
Alejandra has been with me through moments that not even my own mother has seen me in.
She's been through my breakups .. my bad moments and times where I just wanted to break down and cry.
Actually because of her .. I stopped cutting for about 3 months ..
I'm telling the fucking truth.
This girl is my mother .. she acted the way as red from orange is the new black acted with her girls.. she was our red .. and you have no idea how much I appreciate her.
There was some moments that we had that were bad.
some moments where she got mad at me and I just felt horrible.
A time where I made fun of a girl who had diabetes.. who Alejandra was friends with and ale got mad at me for doing that .. I had to apologize because the moment that Alejandra told me that she was mad at me I felt so horrible.
She also made a tradition.
Where every 3 days of the week .. she would check my arms if I had self harmed .. or no she would have squeezed the part of my arm that had the cuts on it to make me whine in pain.
She was there for me for the two times I was hospitalized and the 4 suicide attempts I had.
Yeah that's right
I have 4 suicide attempts .. but there's only 2 that my parents know of which we're the ones that got me hospitalized.
There was a moment .. a situation that you'll learn later on in the book about .. that affected my life completely, something that changed me so much and made me learn many things.
She was there by my side during that situation .. and she felt so horrible for me and wanted to understand the pain I was going through but she wasn't able to.
Some other moments I remember with her were when I lied ..telling her that I was 6 months clean of cutting .. so she checked my wrist seeing if I was clean .. but she saw that I wasn't and I looked up scared at her waiting for what she was going to say next
But instead she walked away, her facial reaction when she saw those fresh cuts on my wrist made my heart break into a million pieces
I love this girl to death
And
I hate seeing her sad because of me..
my suicide attempt story's went around the entire school .. I was here one day and gone the next and everyone wondered what happen and where was I because I was gone for a week on my second suicide attempt
Until word got out to the entire school and everyone began to find out that I tried to commit suicide again..
She also moved schools .. for 10th grade .. you have no idea how much I was mad at her for it but thankfully .. she stayed in my life, even though she still goes to another school.. she's still sticking by my side through my tough moments.
Word got out to Alejandra ..
And she told me how she felt
She told me that when she found out she felt heart broken..
She felt so horrible about what happen to me and didn't know what to do
These are some words for Alejandra ..
Love , thank you for every single thing you have done for me and being on my side in everything that went through my life.. I would have been lost in life if it weren't for you and I love you to death .. I appreciate you so much and thank you so much for being apart of helping me recover .. and saving me.. I am thankful for you to enter my life .. and I hope your forever in my life.
I love you girl a lot
I'll continue to have a safe journey to continue to be recovered and trying my best because of you.
