My first suicide attempt
Suicide: Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death. ... Some suicides are impulsive acts due to stress, such as from financial difficulties, troubles with relationships, or bullying. Those who have previously attempted suicide are at a higher risk for future attempts.
Suicide .. is something that I begged god to let me do. Everyone in life has there dark moments .. and those dark moments can make you feel more horrible than anything on the entire planet. They take over your mind and all you want to do is cry and stay away from the whole world.
Let me tell you , I had those dark moments. But those dark moments came every single fucking day, and I just couldn't handle it anymore.
So let me tell you about a moment that I think changed everyone's perspective about who the real Lesley Gomez is.
Because I for sure don't even know who I am till this day.
It was 6th grade, around the month of April .. no one was home. So I decided to watch this movie named cyberbully .. it's about a girl named Taylor Hillridge and it is her birthday , her mother gave her a brand new laptop. She made an account on the popular website at her school called clicksters. She meets a boy called James, who later turned out to be a fake account set up to torment her. shortly after she created account it was hacked by her little brother, who changes her status to "I'm a naughty girl, someone should spank me." The hacking and cyber bullying goes on, as a video is made mocking her. The James account sends out a text say she gave him an STD.Soon the bully gets a hold of her emotions and she attempts to commit suicide.
You have no idea , how much I related to her. After the group of popular kids left me, I felt depressed .. I mean they were basically the only kind of friends I had and I felt so lonely..
So when that suicide scene came up .. I asked myself
Should I do it ?
Is it worth it ?
Should I just end it all and live happy up above?
My family weren't home yet, so I walked into my mothers room.. grabbed a bottle of pain killers .. and I took a long look at it.
1
2
3
4
5
I was so destined to try to kill my self, I wanted to be gone and just finish everything already.
I took 5 pain killers all at once
I lay on the floor .. and stare at the roof.. tears begin to stream down my face, but at the same time.. I was kinda happy, I mean I was going to end it all finally.
but then the side effects started to come.
Head aches
Nausea
Shaking
Heart beat going faster
I felt so horrible .. and I was so scared .. I didn't know what to do, I began to cry even more.
My parents arrived home, I ignored them for a while until I began to lay on my bed.. thinking that it will probably go away.
I spoke too soon .. and it became worse.. I began to throw up , so I told my mom.
I told her I took 5 pills because I wanted to kill myself.
